Okay. I got fired. It happened. Tuesday afternoon right before closing, my boss asked to speak with me and then walked me into his bosses' office. The director of the company and my boss, listed my professional faults and let me know my level of performance was "unacceptable". I was told to clean out my desk, turn in my phone and turn in my keys. My boss walked me to my desk and watched me pack my sh**. He checked my bag when I left to make sure I didn't take any proprietary stuff and then walked me to the door. OUCH! I was stunned but not surprised as I had been expecting this. I have ADHD and struggle with organization and am not detail oriented. My job is apparently all about the details and not at all about the great things I bring to the table. (Enough of the whining!)
Tuesday night, I drank a lot and smoked a lot and "treated" myself to Red Robin, BIG BIG burger and bottomless fries. The chemical additions to my mood, definitley didn't help my resolve. I ate the entire burger and ate 2 basket of fries. I woke up yesterday morning and began again (not the drinking or smoking part) but began my day with a trip to the grocery store. I bought all OP stuff but when I got home I ateand ate and ate WAAAY too much. Then my friend called and offered to take me out to dinner to "celebrate" not having to work at that place anymore. She was buying (yay, free food!!) and told me to order anything soooo....I ate an entire order of The Sampler at Denny's. Onion rings, fries, chicken fingers, fried mozzarella, with all kinds of dipping sauces. I ate the entire plate which is probably meant to be an appetizer SHARED by several people.
I woke up this morning and headed for the fridge... I stopped myself and came here. HELP!!
First Mini-Goal: Lose 10 lbs. Met 2/22/2010
Second Mini-Goal: 20 lbs. down Met 4/23/2010
Third Mini-Goal: Lost 10% body weight (27 lbs down) Met 9/13/2010
Fourth Mini-Goal: Lose 8 more lbs to = 40 lbs lost : Back on track:9/5/2011 First goal: get back to 246
Last edited by Michelle98272 : 02-05-2009 at 11:22 AM.
Well... I just quit my job the other day, so I am out of work too. But, honestly, I am happy to be free. If you weren't appreciated there, then it's not the right place for you. Think of it as a break up... yeah, it hurts when you go through it... but if it isn't the right guy for you... you'd rather break up than get married, wouldn't you?
I highly recommend this book that I am reading right now called "what color is your parachute". It's all about how to make the job hunt the most successful, and narrow down all the best traits/skills that you have, and find that job that best fits you. Think of this as a new beginning...
Are there any healthy snacks you can binge on? Sometimes just the action of having something to chew on calms my nerves (not necessarily what I am eating)... and polishing off a whole bag of, let's say, carrots, will probably feel just as satisfying to the brain as a burger with fries... but you will only spend like 1/10 of the calories. I dunno, just a suggestion.
I am a big binger when I get upset too... I have been known to eat like 5 bowls of captain crunch back to back.
Oh Michelle that is so rough!! I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. I'm glad that your friends have been supportive (well, not about the food stuff, but I'm glad that someone is there for you to talk to). It doesn't sound like that position was the right one for you, so I hope that this becomes an opportunity to find a better fit. That really sucks, friend.
About the eating. I struggle with emotional eating too, and definitely the drinking and the smoking when things get stressful. I know it sucks, but you've got to get a hold on it! Get out of the house, maybe, go for a walk away from the fridge, or hide in the bed with a cup of tea, try to clear your mind. It is GREAT that you came here instead of continuing towards the fridge.
You know that eating isn't going to help, you know it. So now you've just got to stop, get back on plan, and try to let yourself think about what happens now. For me, I would physically have to get away - a walk down the street past no fast food places - and think about things.
I know your boyfriend is nearby and it sounds like you have close friends there too. Hopefully you could sit down and talk to them for support, but not at a restaurant - maybe a park or something.
We're here for you, and I'm so so sorry about the job. I'm sure you will find something that works better for you.
I have to say, I can relate some (not to the smoking or drinking part though .) I have been working the last year as a pastry chef, and was IN LOVE with my job. Seriously, not many people can say that. In November, I went from being SO busy at work, to nothing. I worked in a fairly pricey cafe, and the economy just finally hit us. Our business went down, and the people that did come in would buy lunch, but wouldn't splurge for dessert. Finally the beginning of last month I was let go...just not enough work to justify having a staffed pastry chef. It was like some part of me died! I had worked my butt off getting my pastry arts degree, while being a stay at home mom, and now just felt like I had put my family $$$$$$ in debt for nothing. Desserts are a luxury item, so when times are tough, pastry jobs are not available.
That weekend after I was let go, I had binges. And the week after. I knew I was stuffing my grief in food because I was trying so hard not to let it show on the outside that I was really upset. It's been a month now, and it's still hard not to overeat each day, especially since I've decided to just stay home with my dd for a little while instead of returning to work right away.
Whenever I get into a binge mood, I have to focus my attention on something non food related for 15 minutes. Usually in that 15 minutes, the need to binge will go away, but if it doesn't, I just keep going 15 minutes until it does go away. As long as I don't act on my impulse to run to the refrigerator, I can usually avoid it.
It reminds me of when I lost my last job- they found out I was leaving and made the last month a living **** for me- Finally they "let me go" because of a conflit with some manager who couldn't stand that I was smarter than her and knew the company inside and out while she didn't. The boss brought me in and I told him I was not happy with the treatment I had been receiving and he said he was sorry to see me go (PFT). I pray everyday their company goes down the drain
Okay enough of my rant- screw them! Don't let them screw up your diet! It sucks, you have binged- now enough! I know another thing that helped me was I blogged about it and then moved on.
Take this time to go to the gym at least an hour a day and then find a new job- you can do it!
Everything happens for a reason. The ways you've talked about that job in the past make it clear that it was not the right job for you. Not that you weren't good enough! Just that it and you weren't a good fit, and that's not good for you! Once you find the right job for you, you are going to look back and see that this job really wasn't right for you at all, and you are going to be so much happier and mentally healthier.
It doesn't sound to me like you've binged that badly ~ and buying the right kinds of food is a great start to getting right back on track, where you deserve to be. Sending you lots and lots of luck.
Yikes! Sounds like you've had a really rough couple of days. I was once fired from a place that was really important to me and it took a long while before I found somewhere I was happy again. I know it sounds cliche and it doesn't help how you feel at this moment, but there is something better waiting for you.
As far as the food stuff goes, it's good you decided to get online rather than go back into the kitchen. We didn't become members of this website because we got up one day and decided we had a problem...for most of us these behaviors have been a problem our whole lives. Keep your goals in mind, give yourself a break and take care of you Don't beat yourself up, just choose to do better TODAY!
We all slip up on our eating habits sometimes - especially when something big happens in our life like losing a job. The important thing is that you don't let your binge turn into a week and a month and so on and so on. Everytime you slip, just get yourself back up - and know we're always here!
To lose 10% of my current body weight!
I'm sorry you are going through this Michelle. I'm glad you came here to get support. Binging is only hurting you, but you know that. I'm sure there's a job out there where your strong points will be appreciated. It sounds like this last job was just a bad fit for you.
In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins... Not through strength, but through Persistence.
Ugh that sucks. I have ADHD and can totllllllllly relate. Details and organization is hard for me but I kick *** at solving problems. People who don't have ADHD just can't relate and bosses take it as you just being a problem and not doing what your told. You get labeled as lazy or careless even if you work harder than your peers. It. is. teh. suck.
Hang in there! Try to remember that the food part is one thing you can do that's nice for yourself. Eating well makes you feel better, longer.
Ok, so you had a binge - no big deal. It was a couple days of not so good eating. Worst case scenario is you put on a pound this week (the scale may say more due to water retention from the sodium) anyhow going up 1 pound is nothing, nada, a blip in the radar.
1. Count your calories.
2. When you want to binge walk to your mailbox (or if you live in an apartment walk out to the curb or street) if you feel like going a little further go for it. [this may sound weird but the mailbox trick works wonders]
3. Do something fun. Read a book. Watch Tv. Play a video game. Take some pictures. Sew. Paint. Draw. Daydream.
4. Consider laying down a temporary rule where you only eat when you can feel the physical sensation of hunger and then you only eat a small plate of food at that time. After you eat wait an hour and then if you feel hungry eat another small plate of food. You can hold off your cravings for 60 minutes. I know you can do it.
5. Make a list of all the things you want to do this summer that will be harder to do if you gain 20lbs between now and then. Paste that list to your fridge.
6. Remind yourself of your signature: "The only person who can stop me, is me--I can take her!" Yes you can!!
7. Whine, gripe, complain, *****, moan, cry here at 3fc. We can take it!
8. Go look through the progress pic thread.
9. Remember you are a part of Team Washington and Team Washington kicks ***!! Right ladies?
10. Find activities that make it hard to eat. Take a ferry ride to Bremerton - ferry food is expensive and gross and the good salt air will do you good!
11. Read 3 health related articles on the web before you eat a snack.
12. Treat yourself to a nice dinner out at a vegetarian/healthy restaurant.
13. Sign up for unemployment and smile as you remember that your former employer has to pay part of it!
14. Go to a pet store and look at the fish.
15. Clean the house from top to bottom. Start in the kitchen.
16. Go read flylady.com - she is so positive and I always get great ideas about how to realistically keep my house clean. A clean house ALWAYS makes me feel better.
17. Look through your photo albums and think about lots of good and fun memories.
18. I can't remember if you have kids (I think you do) - if so ride bikes with them or do something really fun that they will enjoy. Make a wonderful memory for them. If you don't have kids go borrow nieces, nephews, your friend's kids. Everyone knows some kid out there.
19. Volunteer! Volunteer just a couple hours a week somewhere. Boys/girls club, for your church (if you go to church), a local food bank, woman's shelter, etc. Helping others always makes me feel good and takes my mind off food.
20. Pray, meditate, or whatever you do to nurture your spiritual side.