I have been away on vacation with the kiddos for a few days, and I ate badly (although not as badly as I have in the past) and gained 3 pounds. When I got home I started right back in on the healthy eating and the exercise. But I had a real turning point the other day.
I got a couple of really stressful phone calls:
1. DH is coming home for two weeks (stressful because it was unexpected and he brings a lot of junk food in and is generally not supportive)
2. my mammogram last week came back with "areas of concern" and they want to do some zooming in and taking more pictures of those spots and possibly a biopsy
3. my pap also came back bad, with moderate dysplasia (pre-cancerous cells) and I have to go in for a culposcopy and biopsies and some kind of treatment to stop the growth. But they can't get me in for at least 3 weeks.
All this combined really threw me badly. I am beyond stressed out. But the turning point was that I did not turn to food for comfort. In the past when I was THIS stressed out I totally zoned out and shoved food in my mouth until I was numb. You know the "stuffing the emotions" thing... Anyway, I didn't do it. Instead, I went and rode my exercise bike. I zoned out on the bike instead. And I really WANT to ride it. It's stress relieving for me. Isn't that something? I have always hated exercise. So that is my silver lining to my dark clouds. It's a pretty huge deal to me that I didn't binge.
Anyway I did blog about this stuff but I wanted to share it here as well because everyone is so supportive, and I think it is important for you to know that your mind really CAN change and you CAN overcome a severe binge eating disorder. It takes a lot of work but it is so worth it. If you even knew the amounts of food I have inhaled in the past due to stress it would blow your mind.