I was just reading KidsLibrarylady about scarfing down malt balls She said she was surprised that she was sharing it with us and that reminded me about the need for accountability or a coach. On past diets I've always thought I only needed to be accountable to me because ultimately, that's where the dish stops, but obviously that didn't work. This time I'm owing up to my husband. He's not that interested, but tolerates it. I basically tell him when I stay on plan and when I go off.
Do you have someone you are accountable to, someone in real life? I think the threads here on that topic are great, but I'm finding it makes me more aware when I know I'm going to be asked how I did. Does it help if you have one or do you wish you did if you don't?
I do account to others and 99% of the time I am grateful. The two people I share with get an almost daily weight update. But there are downfalls to making this a "group" activity. When with these people sometimes it seems they have made it their personal duty to see to it that I eat on plan. Now this is only relevant when I feel like eating off plan so theoretically it is good but it is really obnoxious when I feel like eating something and they are quick to correct me (sometimes publicly). Accountability to another person can be great, but is is also a slippery slope as they can easily (and innocently) become too involved.
Well I account to you guys basically, cause James - God love him - is a terrible example hahaha. I let him borrow my car today cause I was parked in back of him, and when I got in later after he got back I found Wendy's trash all in my car!!!!!!!!!!! turns out he got a frosty and cursed my car with fatness argh. I told him to clean it up pronto and my car is never to be used to transport forbidden food LOL. so yeah, I totally rely on this site to give me the swift kick in the pants when I mess up. There is no one else, at least not right now.
I would say it depends on why a person is revealing their "naughty" eating. If it's like confessing to be absolved, then that's silly. The body doesn't care whether other people may say it was "OK" for you to give yourself a break--you ate the calories, period. OTOH, venting to come clean about bad choices is another matter.
Put another way, telling other people who aren't trying to lose weight about our bad eating doesn't change anything, except maybe their opinion of us.
I am accountable to myself, and that's it. I don't inflict my food choices and slip-ups on those around me, most of whom aren't interested! But I do stay honest here at 3FC, where folks are all in a similar struggle. Recently I changed my ticker up 4 pounds to reflect reality, for example.
Programs like WW are good for people who need to be accountable to others as well as to themselves, and I think that's a good idea because everyone at a WW meeting is in the same situation.
__________________ "My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama
I also use this site for accountability. I find the feedback here more relevant for my situation. I used to use a friend of mine in this role, but since he's a skinny mini himself, he couldn't really relate and would often give me a kick in the pants when I was more needing an ear of support. Not that he wasn't trying to be supportive, but you know, if you've never been there, it's hard to completely grasp the psychological component of the whole thing.
i acct to my husband as well as on here sometimes... so far ( knock on wood) i have stayed on my plan... each evening i bore my husband with how many calories i had for the day... what i did for exersize and how long i did it and approx how many cals it burned lol.. poor guy... but , i know this is sappy, but when he says 'baby, im really proud of you', that is my reward for the day.. i can tell he Really is proud.. kinda gives me added incentive to stay on plan.. im losing weight for me first... but making hubby happy is a very close second.. he worries about my health ( as he should, im huge), and by sharing with him how im doing he feels involved.
I don't really make myself accountable to anyone no. I find this site fantastic for resources and to see others go through what I go through. Sure we sit at home and talk about weight loss etc (both my parents are overweight too - my mother obese) but to be frank, there's no point talking the talk until you walk the walk. We can talk until the cows come home but unless we're doing what we need to do accountability and 'fessing up' isn't getting us anywhere; so I own any pounds I gain and I know those are through bad choices but it's me and me alone that can change myself.
"It's more stressful to continue being fat than to stop overeating."
No longer obese just overweight ... next stop - 68kg for 'healthy weight range'
My husband is my weight loss partner. Unfortunately, accountability is not a big factor in our partnership. You see, when one of us is struggling, the other person tends to struggle, too. I guess we are somewhat co-dependent on each other. However, I have chosen to make myself accountable to my friends here at 3FC. I can always count on someone being 100% honest with me when I need both a cyberhug and a swift kick in the butt!
__________________ - Rhonda
"Live the life you've always imagined." Henry David Thoreau
Jay, if your response was to me you misunderstood my question. Accountability doesn't just mean reporting your slip ups. Having a partner or coach should result in that person pointing out your successes when you are down, remind you of why you are on a program, help you to deal with problems, notice your weak areas and encourage you to plan to deal with them, etc. I think it's hard for most people to find an objective accountability partner.
I am accountable only to myself. I don't know anyone personally who I think would want a daily accounting of my food. I do confess here if I go off plan sometimes, not as a "penance" or "confession" to ease guilt, but just to share experiences. In the end I am the one who is disappointed in me, and that's enough. I really don't want others involved too much in what I put in my mouth. This will only work if I can make changes in me. I'm sure nobody wants to police me the rest of my life, and I can't look at this as something temporary, or I will not be successful.
Life's a journey, not a destination.
It's easier to stay on plan than to get back on plan.
I just told my husband about the maltball/oreo scandal-- actually I showed him the empty carton-- and he said, "honey.... were you stressed?" I think you need someone who knows you really, really well sometimes. They can ask you if you were stressed or say what the &*(@ were you thinking depending on what you need.
I have a history of 12 1/2 years of recovering from compulsive overeating. I did have a couple of sponsors early on but I have been solo for the past 10 years.
The best thing is to learn to be honest with yourself first. The way that I do that is admit that I am powerless over certain specific foods. In OA they are called trigger foods. I simply don't have them in my home. Period! You can't slip if there is only food on your food plan. I guess, theoretically, I could binge on broccoli but that ain't gonna happen, you know that!
I keep a detailed food diary. When I had homemade fudge for lunch then it went on my food diary and guess what it showed up on the scales too. It doesn't take too many times to do something like that before you go okay which do I want? The momentary pleasure of the fudge (yes, I do!) or the long term pleasure of losing weight and my clothes fitting me a lot better (yes, I do!) Tough choice, I know, but it does get down to that.
Also, I have some very sick family members all around me as reminders that my gene pool isn't so hot. IF I want to avoid all of the health issues they are having and facing right now, then eating healthy and getting this extra weight off is the one thing I can do about it. Yes, I have a predisposition for the all big threes: Cancer, Heart Disease and Diabetes. IF I make good choices today I am moving that much closer to a healthier ME. I want that more than I do the fudge. In fact, I have already told my DH that when he buys me chocolate for V-Day I want the sugar free!
As I have often said, the world knows I have an issue with food, all they have to do is look at me! However, as I have lost weight and people are noticing I get more smiles than scorns. It's not the reason I am in the game but it is a nice and somewhat unsettling experience! I am not used to getting that kind of attention.
Hang in there long enough and one day you will be telling your diet group, us or anyone else about the malted milk balls binge---as in that's the way I USED to be.