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Old 11-07-2007, 04:26 PM   #1  
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Default I Finally Told My Husband

What my highest weight was. I can't really express how huge a thing this was for me. Nobody without a white coat and a stethoscope has known what I weigh since I was in junior high.

We were watching The Biggest Loser and he commented that he didn't understand how you could let your weight get that out of hand. He's never been more than 10 pounds overweight and really just doesn't get it. Not in a nasty way; just in a really doesn't understand kind of way. I don't think he ever put me in the same category as those women. I asked him what he thought I had weighed and told him not to worry about hurting my feelings. He guessed 215-220. Idiot. When I told him 292 he was just speechless; said that he had no idea I was that big.

I think I didn't realize how much I wanted to tell him because I just had a huge sense of relief flood over me. I think it really was the only secret I had from him. I had this fear that he'd be so appalled that he would feel differently about me. Now he's all excited about my getting back into onederland and called me from work this morning to tell me again how proud of me he was. I think I actually feel lighter today just because I'm not carrying this around anymore.

Oh, and in case I ever wondered where I got my food issues, I mentioned to my Mom this morning that I had told him and got a big lecture on how I shouldn't have done that and how a man should never know what you weigh.
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Old 11-07-2007, 04:33 PM   #2  
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I told my husband a while back my highest weight and my current weight. He was amazed.
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Old 11-07-2007, 04:39 PM   #3  
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Good for you! I haven't told my DH what my highest weight is. He hasn't asked either. He is one of those "I don't get it" types, too. Maybe if I ever reach my goal I will 'fess up.
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Old 11-07-2007, 04:53 PM   #4  
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I am so moved and impressed by your ability to share with your husband. I don't know why numbers seem to have such power over us, but they do. Sounds like you have an amazing relationship with him. I love that he is celebrating your achievments....and you have achieved much!!

Congratulations on taking such a liberating action!
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Old 11-07-2007, 04:56 PM   #5  
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I think that in general men don't ever "get it". Most of them don't have the "issues" with food that women have, I've noticed. Then again, my boyfriend's a skinny guy, always has been. He can eat what he wants and it doesn't do anything to him as far as weight gain. He thinks that the answer to losing weight is "eat less", when it's so much more than that. It's just not that simple.
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:02 PM   #6  
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You know, men really DON'T get it.

I was talking about my weight loss with my step-father-in-law. He asked me if I wanted to lose any more weight (this was last Christmas) and I said "probably about 20 or 30 lbs more" (I was 190 at the time). And he turns to me and says "So you want to be, what, about 100 lbs?" I asked what he thought my highest weight was, and he guessed 210. My response, I think, was to chuckle and say something like "you're so sweet!". I think men don't think about it the same way that women do, especially men who have never been heavy (SFIL in question is famous family-wide for his incredible appetite, and is a TINY little thing).
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:04 PM   #7  
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I will never tell my husband. It is my secret until the end.
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:15 PM   #8  
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And men say they are visual people... Visual without a clue is what they are! Ha ha...

Good for you!

Janet
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:17 PM   #9  
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Robin, I think I understand why this was such a significant moment for you. I think it represented that there's no going back for you. You've crossed over the bridge, made it to the other side, and burned the bridge behind you. You've acknowledged the past, taken ownership, and now are only looking forward.

The same thing happened to me when I reached 100 pounds lost. That's when I knew I was never going back, so I could tell DH where I had been.
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:32 PM   #10  
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Meg, it really was like taking ownership of it. It's really like by saying it out loud that the number itself has lost its power over me. No more dreading the truth getting out. I actually used to worry about something happening to me and my DH seeing the number on a chart at the hospital. If I'd spent the time exercising that I spent worrying about weird stuff that was never going to happen, I'd weigh 100 pounds.

As a further example of men not getting it; my DH said that since I got to 292, that I should have gone on a two week binge and gotten to 300. That way I'd have the fun of not only getting back into the 1's but also getting back into the 2's. He thought it would be motivation. He's really lucky he's so sweet cause he's dumb as a post.
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:55 PM   #11  
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Congrats on telling your husband. I still haven't told mine, He thinks I am in the 100's all ready and my highest was 230 or something. Like you said men don't have a clue.
cheryl
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Old 11-07-2007, 06:03 PM   #12  
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Robin, you are so funny!! I can relate SO much!
It really is wonderful that you were able to share that with him. My husband knows how much I weigh, and is right there with me as the lbs slip away. He tells me all of the time how proud he is of me, and it's so encouraging.
I am beginning to share with some of my close friends my weight. (Believe me, I'm very choosy!) If they're thinking they don't show it!! They are truly there for me too. It really is taking ownership. Also, I find that the more I say it out loud, the more accountable I'm going to be. For 20 years no one knew what I weighed. It was my little "secret". Of course, no one could tell that all of my clothes were shrinking...big SECRET!!
But no one knew the NUMBER. Now that I'm saying it, I'm no longer in denial about it.
So happy for you and your lighter self!!!
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Old 11-07-2007, 06:35 PM   #13  
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yah DH's are darling but dumb LOL Mine picked up this ratty old duo-tang that i've used to log all my food in, all weird little thoughts jotted down, my goals, etc., and he said "can i look in here" and I said "the first page might shock you" and there it was in black and white:

Things I know to be true:

I'm 5'8
I'm a brunette
I'm funny & smart
I love Adrian with all my heart
I weigh 323.9 lbs.
I will not weigh that again
I will be under 200 lbs.

he said "woah, where'd you store it all" god love him!
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Old 11-07-2007, 08:26 PM   #14  
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I was in the hospital, in labor with my second son and I made the nurse wheel her little computer cart over to me so I could enter my own weight, to avoid having to say it outloud with my husband there!! Amazing, we weigh what we weigh and our appearance doesn't change but some how them knowing makes them think "bigger"!!!

Congrats to you -- a definite step in the right direction!!!!
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Old 11-07-2007, 08:32 PM   #15  
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Good for you, Robin, for telling your husband. Isn't it odd how we hold that number over our heads. I'm not married but my parents and family have no idea how much I weigh and I'm scared to tell them for fear of seeing their shocked faces and the threat of disowning me as their daughter/sister. I'm in my 30's but I can't help but have those childlike thoughts in my head when I worry so about my weight. One of these I will gather up the courage to share my truth with my family and hopefully by then, a husband.

I'm a little slow but what does "DH" stand for? I'm guessing darling husband.
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