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Have you been in this slump before?

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Old 10-01-2007, 12:30 PM   #1
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Default Have you been in this slump before?

So, I'm stuck. This is a slump I just can't seem to get out of...

I've lost "the weight" (all gained during/after pregnancy) soooooooo many times. Then, slowly but surely, it all comes back plus some. I'm sick of loosing the weight and having it come back. I'm sick of people telling me how to loose the weight, while they wolf down a burger and fries. I'm really not happy with the fact that I quit soda and the few sweets I did eat (an occassional bowl of ice cream), over two weeks ago and haven't lost A POUND! I'm sick of watching my husband and children (and many friends) eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce (my husband is not more active than I). I'm sick of living in an area where most of the women are bone skinny and just look perfect (Hi- I live in California). I'm just sick of it all!

Am I alone in this?! If you have been here, what did you do to change your perspective?

Last edited by sozo : 10-01-2007 at 12:38 PM.
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Old 10-01-2007, 12:33 PM   #2
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I haven't lost and regained weight much, I just kept slowly packing it on. LOL.

Congrats on having the determination to rid yourself of soda and sweets! Do you think you unknowingly started eating more of other things? Maybe it would be a good time to start measuring food and writing it all down. Some people suggest keeping a journal of what you eat, when, where, what your mood was and all that, but I found that too time consuming.

Do you like to exercise, and do you have opportunities to get out regularly to do it?

Oh, and I see you've only made a few posts.
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Old 10-01-2007, 12:50 PM   #3
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Hi,
I would loose a little bit of my first pregnancy weight gain, and then gain what I lost back + more, then a few years later I would try and loose the extra weight, stop and gain more and more until May when I finally saw the damage I did on the scale.
What motivated me to get into a healthy life style was lots of things, physically , I felt horrible, couldn't move, walk, breathe right ect.. I went into a size 26 pants and they were not loose , my kids were made fun of because of me, and they were becoming as unhealthy as me. At first it was hard, because hubby is able to eat anything, and not understand that these can be trigger foods for me. I am not saying it is easy, I keep most junk food out of the house, I exercise daily and keep track of my calories, I have slipped up,but have gotten back on track. I have lost the most weight ever , and I amaze myself at times. But I don't want to go back to what I was. But it is worth it, I can now fit into size 18 pants, I can exercise, walk, breathe and feel great. That is my motivation. I know you can find yours.
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Old 10-01-2007, 01:09 PM   #4
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I know exactly what you mean. It's so easy to resent those who seem to be able to eat "normally" when we can't. I even started a thread about a similar topic:

When does this become "normal?"

Pita also posted a link to a thread in the thread above, and it was extremely valuable information. It is tougher for us to maintain weight loss than it is for others to maintain healthy weight. So, the question really becomes, "Is it worth it?" And for me, today, the answer is "Absolutely." If I can answer the same way every day from now on, I expect to earn my way to a "normal" weight and stay there, even if I can never eat "normally" again.
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Old 10-01-2007, 01:36 PM   #5
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I can relate to the "everyone around me can eat what they want and look perfect"

I have lost weight and gained again a million times. This time is completely different, I have been off of diet pills for about 3 years now and during that time I have gained the most. When I have motivation and all this energy I take advantage of that and do all the "exercise and eating right stuff" but what I found is when I do this "stuff" when I have no energy and no motivation and I am in a "slump" is when I am really making this a life change and doing it even when I don't want to. To me this is what really feels good because I know I am building my character and testing my will. This has been the only time I have lost weight the 100percent healthy way and that feels so much better. (got off topic abit sorry)

This may not sound like good advise but when you are staying on track when you don't want to, or you stumble abit and get right back up and keep trying is when your headed in the right direction. The ladies on this forum have been so supportive. I know you can do it.
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Old 10-01-2007, 01:39 PM   #6
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Sozo!

Its not fair that Mom taught me what she knew....to eat good ole artery clogging southern food and clean my plate. Its not fair that she taught me to self medicate my depression/anxiety/nerves with food. Its not fair that my parents never encouraged me to put down my books and go ride my bike. It's not fair that my Hubby can eat the same exact foods and exercise for the same exact minutes...yet he loses twice as fast as I do. Its not fair that I have insulin resistance and am in menopause and must work extremely hard to lose. No...its all incredibly unfair. But, we all have to get past our own pity party and make the decision to deal with our own issues. We can choose to live overweight and out-of-shape, or we can choose to do whatever it takes to change our lives. My initial motivation came from the increased pain in my knees, the loss in stamina and feeling fatigued all of the time. I knew that I did not want to spend the rest of my life feeling that way. Now, its more a matter of committment than motivation. I'm committed to sticking with this no matter how long it takes or how painful it becomes. I have to re-commit to this lifestyle change every single day!

I'm sorry that you've not dropped any weight after removing soda and sweets. Have you considered calorie counting to track how many calories you're consuming each day? A number of our 3FC friends count calories and have had great success. Also, if you're not exercising, I recommend starting some type of aerobic program. Walking is great exercise for those of us who are trying to lose weight.

Hang in there. You can do this! Keep posting with us.
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Old 10-01-2007, 02:49 PM   #7
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Good post, Rhonda. I can relate to the not putting down the books long enough to get exercise. I pay for that every day now!!!

Sozo, you are not alone at all. I am currently in my first mini goal to get back down to where I had lost to before. And then the next mini goal will be to get back to the other prior weight I was before I gained again. If you follow this vicious cycle, you'll understand completely what I just wrote. It is so infuriating to look back and see the mistakes we have made! Not to mention the skinny people who seem to be able to do what they want.

Bottom line, I don't have a choice. Well, I DO have a choice to stay with my unhealthy habits and continue to gain more weight and then get more unhappy and unhealthy with each passing year. Or, I can just see that this is the burden I have to work through. Other people have other problems other than weight that are equally or even more frustrating than what I have. It's just the way it is and all I can do is take it one day at a time and work to get better and get healthier. I can't change the past, so I can only focus on the future.

We're here to help and support you!!!
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Old 10-01-2007, 03:02 PM   #8
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Welcome Sozo - There's not much I can add to this, since other people have pretty much summed it up. But I would like to say that I hope you find what you're looking for!
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Old 10-01-2007, 03:06 PM   #9
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Oh boy have I been where you are! Rhonda had an excellent post. I've heard myself say it to my kids hundreds of times but life is not always fair. I really hate that I can't eat exactly what I want when I want, but you can't focus on the negative or you will stuck there. Believe me I know this from years of experience. I just got all my baby weight off and my daughter is 18! I would start to lose the weight and then I would think “it’s not fair I want to eat like everyone else” and back came the weight. I had to come to the realization that I was NEVER going to be able to eat what I want whenever I want and however much I want (it only took my 17 years to figure it out). Believe me when I tell you that everyone in this world has their own cross to carry. If someone doesn’t have to worry about weight loss they have to worry about something else. You just have to consider your alternatives. If you decide to heck with this and just go on eating where will you be a year from now? You can’t worry about what others do just look after yourself. Is it hard? HECK YES! Is it worth it? YES YES YES!!!!!! Don’t give up or give in!
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Old 10-01-2007, 11:49 PM   #10
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So, many great responses... So much to think about.

I've got to figure out how to get past that "it's unfair", "I'm not like most people", "I'll never be able to eat even close to what I want" mentality. I think once I can conquer the mental part, I'll be o.k. I've never conquered this thought process. I've lost the weight, yes, pushing back the mental part but it always comes back to haunt me.

You all made more sense than you may know and frankly it's what I needed to hear...

Going off to pray for help in completely changing my mindset.... Man, this is going to be hard...
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Old 10-02-2007, 01:45 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sozo View Post
"I'll never be able to eat even close to what I want"
Sozo, I know what you mean when you have that thought. Let me give you a little bit of hope though. I've found that as I've eaten healthier my tastes have changed radically. I can honestly say I no longer desire an entire pint of Haagen Daaz. I don't want to sit and eat a bag of chips. I don't really enjoy the taste of butter much anymore and can count on one hand the number of times I've eaten it since January (when I started losing weight.) The list goes on for miles.

This isn't to say that I don't have treats sometimes. But, because it's sometimes it's actually a treat.

At first I had to white knuckle it far more than I do now. I really had the "fake it 'til you make it" thing going on. The fantasic thing is that fake it 'til you make it is truly productive in this circumstance.

So, don't lose hope. You can do this!! I'll say a prayer for you, you're not alone in all of this.
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Old 10-02-2007, 11:54 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gale02 View Post
Sozo, I know what you mean when you have that thought. Let me give you a little bit of hope though. I've found that as I've eaten healthier my tastes have changed radically. I can honestly say I no longer desire an entire pint of Haagen Daaz. I don't want to sit and eat a bag of chips. I don't really enjoy the taste of butter much anymore and can count on one hand the number of times I've eaten it since January (when I started losing weight.) The list goes on for miles.

This isn't to say that I don't have treats sometimes. But, because it's sometimes it's actually a treat.

At first I had to white knuckle it far more than I do now. I really had the "fake it 'til you make it" thing going on. The fantasic thing is that fake it 'til you make it is truly productive in this circumstance.

So, don't lose hope. You can do this!! I'll say a prayer for you, you're not alone in all of this.
Thank you.
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Old 10-02-2007, 12:15 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sozo View Post
I've got to figure out how to get past that "it's unfair", "I'm not like most people", "I'll never be able to eat even close to what I want" mentality.
Well, another thing to think about is this: there are people on here who have fare MORE obstacles than you do, and they're able to do it. So rather than looking to someone who has it easier and say "it's not fair, they have it easier" ... look at someone who has it harder and say "wow, it isn't fair. I have it way easier than they do". Gratitude goes a long way!
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Old 10-02-2007, 12:41 PM   #14
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We have all had those feelings at one time or another and I know I still have that tendency. There have been a lot of good advice here and not much I can add to it. There are a lot of things that caught my eye, there are 2 that really caught me for me personally. One thing that Rhonda said about commitment and motivation. We usually start out really motivated. I know that I am right now for a lot of reasons, but I think the key is "Commitment" in order to get through those times when this becomes a struggle or a real battle for us. The other thing is what Phantastica wrote. We need to look at those who cannot do what we can do instead of what someone can do that we cannot. Example, I can exercise, but not like I could when I was younger. I hope that in time that will change. DH doctor told him to do just a few minutes a day until he builds up his strength. That is what I am having to do. Also, I recently read that we should count all activity especially the ones we don't want to do as exercise in order to get ourselves moving. They say it gives a better attitude and helps us lose weight.

But I still think it all goes back to one thing "Commitment" and remembering that I am doing this for one person "ME" and "My Health".

Trish

Last edited by pattygirl63 : 10-02-2007 at 12:44 PM.
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Old 10-02-2007, 02:09 PM   #15
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One quick thing to add to what Gale has said. She made great points about not eating some foods. I know that if I put a potato chip in my mouth now, it feels really greasy and tasteless now. But there's a flip side to that. I had forgotten how much I really enjoyed strawberries, for example. They are so sweet and flavorful. Or I discovered a love of sugar snap peas. They are crisp, light, and tasty. I had also never eaten yogurt until a year ago. For some reason, I was convinced I didn't like it. I was way wrong. I was also convinced I didn't really care for salad. Turns out I love Romaine lettuce, but find iceberg pretty lacking, so I eat the Romaine instead of the iceberg. You are in this for life. Very few people can accept long-term torture, so if you're giving up all of the things you like and replacing them with things you don't like, I'm afraid you will find it extremely difficult to stay with this for life. However, if you work hard enough to find things that you can truly enjoy and appreciate, you will find this a much easier and more rewarding journey. It is very tough at first, but becomes easier as you are able to identify good alternatives.
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