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So I had an epiphany....

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Old 02-19-2007, 08:57 AM   #1
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Default So I had an epiphany....

Yesterday, I was doing some serious thinking. I've been struggling lately to stay on-plan. I've exercised once in the last three weeks. Each day, I veer more and more off-plan. I've been eating too much and eating foods that I know are unhealthy for me and were major contributors to my current heavy weight. January was so easy for me. I remember thinking, "This is easy!" I was excited about my journey and the changes I was seeing. I was excited about my increased stamina, my improved mood, the re-newed twinkle in my hubby's eyes....my outlook was positive and hopeful...I could really see myself doing this! I was going to be slender and fit!

What happened? Why am I no longer excited? Where did my motivation go? What changed? Why am I stuggling each minute of every day to stay committed and do this?

I realized something....something that I never really saw before....I don't follow through with anything! I am a quitter!! So many projects left uncompleted.....a bathroom renovation for which the tile was purchased 6 months ago and it sits in the garage waiting for me all of this time. The books and camera equipment bought a year ago so I could learn macro-photography....collecting dust in the closet. The new sewing machine and the dress for my daughter....the dress that I never completed and would now be three sizes too small for her. The dreams of continuing my college education.....I pick up the information from the school, but never sign up. The dreams of running a marathon.....I stop running due to a muscle strain...and twenty years later, I'm still sitting on the couch. The dreams of working with habitat for humanity....I find the information and the phone numbers, but never call.

Here I am again...I'm at the crossroads again. I dream of being slender and fit. I dream of having muscles. I dream of running again....I literally have dreams at night in which I'm running! I dream of wearing beautiful clothes and walking about in the world with confidence! I dream of winning this fight!

I dont know why I've always quit. But, I know this....Not this time! This is too important...this is my life...this is my health! I may not always have a weight loss to report....I may not always have exercise to post...I may not always have an NSV to share....But, I will be here...and I'm not giving up!

Today, I'm back on plan. I have decided to start my journaling every day. I will be using Fitday. And, I am re-reading Dr. Phil's Weight Loss Solution. My journey will be one step at a time...day to day....from now until forever.
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Old 02-19-2007, 09:05 AM   #2
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Rhonda - YOU CAN DO THIS.
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Old 02-19-2007, 09:15 AM   #3
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Oh Girlygirl I am so sorry that you have been struggling as of late. But you're right this IS too important to give up on. You're too important to give up on. There is just waaay too much at stake here. It most definitely is a struggle. But a struggle that can be overcome. You've lost 17 lbs, 17 lbs!!!! I know you can get back to that place where you were in January. It's right within your grasp. I don't want you wasting one more minute of your life being unhappy due to your weight. Every single day of you staying on plan will get you closer and closer to your goals and dreams. Take it a day at a time, a meal at a time if need be. Make every single meal and every single snack a good choice. Those choices will add up to a better day, a better week, a better month and a better and happier and healthier Girlygirl. Before you know it you will be in a groove and things won't seem quite as difficult, you'll have another 17 lbs gone. Another 17 lbs.!!!! Just think about it. How great would that be? You're not a quitter, I don't believe that for one minute. You may have stumbled a bit, you may be a little down, but you are by no means out. I can tell from your posts just what an intelligent woman you are. And you know how valuable and important this is to you and everyone around you. Hang tough, tough lady. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! If we have to drag you kicking and screaming - YOU ARE GOING DO THIS!!!!

I am sending you hugs, kisses, tough love and a whole big bunch of will power.
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Old 02-19-2007, 09:39 AM   #4
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Congrats on your loss!

Wow I can relate to a ton of what you said. I have a favorite poem you may or may not have heard that I feel applies to your situation:

Don't Quit by Jill Wolf

Don't quit when the tide is lowest;
for it's just about to turn.

Don't quit over doubts and questions;
for there's something you may learn.

Don't quit when the night is darkest;
for it's just a while 'til dawn.

Don't quit when you've run the farthest;
for the race is almost won.

Don't quit when the hill is steepest;
for your goal is almost nigh.

Don't Quit for you're not a failure;
Until You Fail to Try!
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Old 02-19-2007, 09:40 AM   #5
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I also quit everything, you should see me mop the floor, on square at a time....wait till you drop 5 pounds in a week....hang in there more good thing are around the corner..
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Old 02-19-2007, 09:54 AM   #6
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Oh, Girlygirl! I'm too am sorry you have had this struggle...but you know what, you can rest assured we ALL have these struggles. As someone already put it - there is a struggle involved in this journey. But, I recall something I have heard many times in my life - NOTHING worth having comes without a struggle or cost of some kind. But the struggle is worth it to acheive your dream. Two things come to mind: The struggle of childbirth - when I was in labor I said "NEVER AGAIN!" and nearly leveled my husband with glares (as if it were only his fault I was in this condition). But, as all us mothers know, when the baby is laid in our arms that first time, the labor is just a faded memory even though it maybe occurred just moments ago.

The other thing that came to mind is the below poem (as Kae did). I have thought of this poem so many times in my life...it is so fitting. And, after reading your post, it almost seemed as if YOU were the one who wrote it, as you have a resounding determination in your post.

Here is a vote of confidence from me! You are more than able to do this....NO MATTER WHAT YOU MAY HAVE QUIT IN THE PAST! Those other things were not as important as your health and life. So, don't see yourself as a quitter, rather see yourself as one with diverse desires and an overcomer!

********************
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road your trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when your hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit!
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Old 02-19-2007, 09:58 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kae View Post
Congrats on your loss!

Wow I can relate to a ton of what you said. I have a favorite poem you may or may not have heard that I feel applies to your situation:

Don't Quit by Jill Wolf

Don't quit when the tide is lowest;
for it's just about to turn.

Don't quit over doubts and questions;
for there's something you may learn.

Don't quit when the night is darkest;
for it's just a while 'til dawn.

Don't quit when you've run the farthest;
for the race is almost won.

Don't quit when the hill is steepest;
for your goal is almost nigh.

Don't Quit for you're not a failure;
Until You Fail to Try!
Wow, Kae! I love this poem! It's a keeper!
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Long-term goal: 140 ~ Lost 138 pounds in 2007/2008 then had emotionally tragic year in 2012 & regained 100 pounds back. Now making my way back down. Top ticker is current progress. I'm keeping the old ticker for motivation. ~

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Old 02-19-2007, 12:17 PM   #8
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You can do this! You can do this! YOU CAN DO THIS!
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Old 02-19-2007, 12:29 PM   #9
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Hey Rhonda. Im also a quitter. But something is telling me that this time is different. I know you can do this!!!!
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Old 02-19-2007, 12:45 PM   #10
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Once someone close to me asked me what I was so afraid of ... as she pointed out all the things I did to sabotage myself, and I realized I was quitter... and that was enough !! I still have my fall backs, but at this, we will succeed !!

YOU CAN DO THIS !!
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Old 02-19-2007, 01:21 PM   #11
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As with everyone else, I'm here for you!! We've all stopped and started this -- but your right, you won't quit this time!! I'm the same way, I work on my weight for a while and then stop. But, all the work you've already put into it would be gone and you would gain the weight back. If you tiled 1/2 the bathroom it would still be there waiting for you, even if you never finished!! But, when we start to lose weight and get off track, most of us don't keep the lost weight off but gain that and then some back. So, to me that is even more of a driving force than to lose the weight -- it is to continue in the right direction, because if I quit I will only gain back and then some!!

Maybe you need to shake things up -- make it more interesting, try some new exercise, a little twist in your eating technique, a friend to work on this with? Something to get you going again and make it as exciting as it was when you first started.
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Old 02-19-2007, 05:42 PM   #12
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Rhonda -

You can do this! You have made a commitment to yourself! We are definitely here for you. I know there are times when I have asked why this should even matter - but I know it does and I want to do something about it.......

Hang in there!!! Bluer skies are ahead.....
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Old 02-19-2007, 06:58 PM   #13
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Rhonda, I'm the biggest quitter on the planet. Always have been. But somehow I've stuck with it this time, and so will you!! You're doing so great, and I love reading your posts because you're always positive and you encourage and support everyone so much. We're here for you, and you're going to do this with us. I know you can...and you know you can. You already said in your post that you're not giving up, and I know you won't!!
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Old 02-19-2007, 11:50 PM   #14
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Oh, Rhonda, you can do this! Just keep coming here, and we'll do all we can to get you back on track.....this is the big one, and you can do it!

Go Rhonda, go Rhonda, go Rhonda......chant with me now!
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Old 02-20-2007, 12:32 PM   #15
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Have I mentioned how awesome you guys are?! Thanks so much for the encouragement. It means the world to me!
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