Binge
 

So im home from college for eater and today...i am going to binge!!!

I feel like crap. I feel fat and ugly. Im looking in the mirror and im hating everything that i see. My appearance has made me feel like crap in the past but this is the first time is has ever reduced me to tears and i dont really know why. All i know is i look in the mirror and i hate what i see.

I am by no means an emotional eater as emotions normally make me not want to eat but today i just feel so down, that eating will make me smile so thats exactly what im going to do.

Ill be back 2morow to tell you how the binge went and update you on how im feeling.

And yes, i know this is counterproductive and not the way to go about it but do you ever have days when you just want to crawl under a rock and die? or you dont want to talk to people? or when you have a free day and you plan to do something productive but on the morning decide that youre happy to just stay in bed and have a duvet day? This is my version of crawling under a rock/unplugging the phone/a duvet day.

2morow, we decide if it was worth it.

....vent over....! thank you :carrot:

http://christablack.blogspot.com/2009/06/me-part-1.html I strongly encourage you to read this blog...the whole thing little by little...it really helps you handle this type of issue

thank you.

The binge was a success. I think i have a tummy bug now coz ive been ill since the binge but emotionally, i feel better and ready to continue on my journey. All is right with the world lol

How is hurting yourself a success?

Success is dealing with your emotions in a healthy and productive manner.

I have the same problem with binge-eating but please don't beat yourself up over it. You've already taken the first step to being a part of Weight Watchers and you're moving forward. Binge-eating happens to all of us, just pick yourself up and move on. I'm sure you've heard it all before, but you should definitely try to find something else (other than food) that makes you feel better about yourself (manicures, pedicures, massages, exercising, reading, etc.). You shouldn't turn to food for comfort when you feel like crap. :( I posted something about this a little while ago and a lot of the board members have helped me with their responses if you'd like to take a look. Best of luck to you and I hope you feel better.

First of all, maybe binge was an overstatement considering i had an ice cream sundae and some fries. But i think describing it as hurting myself is rather dramatic dont you think?

I meditate, I work out, and when i do have problems, I have people around me i can talk to. Im not too proud to ask for help when i need it. I was a competitive cheerleader for years so when something bothers me, i throw on my old training kit, head over to my gym and tumble my little heart out because theres something about that bouncy blue mat that makes all my problems melt away and i leave there feeling sooo much better.

Believe me, I have more than enough ways to deal with my emotions in a healthy and productive manner.

But sometimes you just wanna do something that may be bad for you but feels so damn good. As i previously stated - I AM NOT AN EMOTIONAL EATER. Food has never been something that i turned to in order to feel better about myself. On that occassion, I was craving both items and i make no apologies for it.

My hubby smoked for years and gave up 3years ago. In that time, he has smoked about 4 times. It doesnt mean he WANTS to harm himself and I dont think any less of him because of it. I understand the need and the reasoning and i get that he is only human - as am i.

Sometimes i wish people would stop being so analytical and stop trying to break everything down and disect it to no end. Sometimes you do something because its what you want to do. It doesnt make you a bad person, it doesnt make you a failure, it doesnt mean im eating my emotions, it doesnt mean im not dealing with my issues...its just means i wanted a damn sundae and some damn fries lol.


Thought this website was supposed to be for support. Didnt realize i would be vilified for slippin. damn.