Bandit, it sounds like the party was fun.
And it sounds like you have some challenges ahead of you. Considering the way you've dealt with challenges in the past, I'd say you're right on track to deal with them effectively.
Judy, it sounds like you're putting a lot of effort into understanding yourself and addressing your personal issues. Fear of hunger is a rough one. I remember, a long time ago, we were talking about the Geneen Roth/eating on demand idea (that is, waiting until you get hungry, and then eating just enough for the hunger to go away), and you mentioned that the idea made you uncomfortable because you were afraid of not eating enough. I thought it was an interesting observation at the time, and the thought has stayed with me. Is it possible that, on a more global perspective, you don't trust your body? I think very few people who are or ever have been overweight really trust their bodies--why should they? What evidence do they have that their bodies can take care of themselves? For me, I trust my body on most levels
except weight/hunger/satiety regulation. I understand how most of the body works, but since this issue is colored by emotions, there's a whole other dimension to it that isn't really "understood".
Anyway! I unexpected found myself in the operating room today around 1:00 (I'm fine, it was a minor procedure and over in 5 minutes but it needed to be done under sedation). I had dinner last night, but I've had nothing today. You can't eat before going under anesthesia of any description, no matter how mild. So no breakfast, and then no lunch, and it was 4:30 before my hubby got me home. I went right to bed and have been up briefly since. It's almost 11pm and I've had just shy of a liter of water so far. (And I tried to heave it up, too!) I'm not feeling too terribly inclined to try food of any description, though the logical side of my brain accepts that food may well help with the woozy-head feeling. My stomach, though, does NOT feel like it wants anything right now, and I'm more inclined to trust it (on this occasion).
Take care, Turtles, I'll check back later. You're all doing great!