Hello all. I am so busy today, no time for a real post. Just wanted you all to know that I am lurking.

I will post more tomorrow.

Trish

OKAY...I have to come clean here. I am seriously stressing about meeting his ex in December.

NOT b/c I think he will like her again or anything like that. I am confident (moreso) in our relationship and how he feels about me.

BUT having said that....I was looking at pics of her (Iknow, bad me ) and she is v. pretty and v. thin (and thank god has the personality of a surf board) You guys know the history with her, phoning all the time etc...anyway...and I don't want to meet her and know she is way thinner than me (the pretty part I cna't do anything about, need to focus on what I can change, right?). I don't want to be 200lbs when I meet this little thin girl. you know?? I don't want to take that blow to my ego/self esteem. I know I'll end up feeing horrible about it. I want to be able to meet her and say - yup I was the best and looked the best I can.

Yes, I know this is puttting so much emphasis on looks, but who of you can tell me as an overweight person (or even at goal) that looking good/thin wasn't something you wanted and were touchy about?? well, take whatever you feel and times that by 20...and that is where I am. I am from this insanely obsessed by weight/appearance family. I don't judge others by it, but I am always afraid that others judge me by it. And people DO judge overweight people in some way (but that is aWHOLE OTHER ball of wax)

I am really stressing about this. I mean, I DREAM about it!! I looked at old pics of me at 252 and tried to say hey, I am not that person anymore, but its not good enough. I am trying not to become obsessed and I dohn't want to get to that point where it encompasses every aspect of my life again. I mean, tha tis why I joined WW b/c its healthy, realistic, something you can do for the rest of your life, and there are others for moral support, people who know where you've been. You know??? Anyway, I am trying so hard to not get obsessed.

But like last night after I ate that cone, I felt so guilty, like I did when I struggled with eating problems in high school. It scared me. I shared with b/f (he knows all about it) and he was scared I might be obsessing and wants me to tell him if it occurs again. and of course he was very affectionate and full of "I think you are beautiful" comments, but also said that he is afraid that no matter how thin I get I'll want to be thinner. so in other words, he thinks I am obsessive about my wieght. Its not that easy though I know what I see in the mirror and I get sick thinking about her seeing me and viewing me and judging me. I know you guys have said in the past, no matter what you weigh when you get there, they'll like you for you - and htat's true, but still, the thought of that girl....yikes. Its not even like jealousy b/c I know that b/f really cares for me for ME and isnt' into her anymore. No, this is about something else. Competition? I don't know!! Its bizarre how I feel about this...

Well, it feels good to come clean anyway and tell you guys what's going on. I know you probably can't help (unless there are psychologists lurking out there) but it feels good to tell someone who understands....

Thanks for letting me share/vent.

Belle

Belle... Question... why will you see her in December?? Does she still hang with your BF?? I am just wondering. Hubby thinks the same of me. He thinks I obsess way too much. But I am better than I used to be. When I was on WW before being PG I really deprived myself. I am much more realistic now. But I have heard that once you lose all the weight, many times you still see the heavy person. It is something you need to work out with yourself! Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and said "Dang I am looking good"?? If so, live off of that and not the negatives! Because if you see it once, you will be able to see it many more times! Remember... when it gets tough... we are still here for you!

Oh and get into the challenge... there is nothing like a good challenge and it will keep you honest... MEET THOSE GOALS! You can do it!

Hey girls I haven't checked posts yet in fact I am still in camp but Have a break so I have a quick question.

How many pts for cheesecake?????? I checked Dotties and the book. I have low pts so far for the day and I would like a piece

Thanks Becky

Xmas at his home....

His family lives across the country, and so does she. He has already mentioned that she will want to see him, and we decided the best way to do that is to have her over to his mom's place so its a group thing and not me him and her, or just him and her. Of course, we figure she'll want to have him and her time, and he said he'll tell her no unless I can come along. which is good!! But at the same time, means I have to meet her.

I think he should just say no I don't have time to see you, but he says he wants to maintain civil/friends with her. In his defence, he hasn't rung her in a long time, and she hasn't phoned to my knowledge....though you never know, I can't be with him 24/7 and I don't want to be monitoring his phone calls either. That's ludicrous.

I am still a bit miffed that he sent her a bday card in May. But whatever....she gives him elaborate gifts for his bday/xmas...so I guess he could have reciprocated and didn't. That is good.

Jen, I'll get more in the challenge and try to be "challenged" rather than "obsessed".

I have had the "wow I look good moment" once or twice, but its hard to hang on to that!?

Oh well, what can you do....I'll do my best to not obsess.

And now, my break is over and I must go back to work (booh!!)

Thanks for the advice/listening!

Becky - I think its about 9pts.

Belle

Belle... If you are there with, I am sure she will feel like the third wheel and get the point. If she doesn't, then good golly, she needs help. Maybe this will be closure!!!! Closure is a good thing. This positive about the whole thing. Maybe this is your chance to finally be rid of her!!! Does she live anywhere near where the new job is???

Cheesecake... the only list I have with me says 1/16 of a 9 inch pie is 7 points. ENJOY!!!!

Jen: I hope you didn't take it to mean I don't like the name Emma, because I do! It's a beautiful name. My great-grandmother's name was Emma – she was German. (Her last name was Sassenshied — quite a mouthful)

Janet: Annaleigh is a beautiful name! <-- That's the spelling I like. My parents have a friend in Germany whose name is Annaliese, which I always thought was pretty.

Becky: I don't know what cheesecake is, but I bet it's a lot. Like 10 or more for a slice.

Belle: I'm with Jen ... why do you have to meet the ex?

How's everyone eating today? I had a salad (and chips and salsa con queso) for lunch ... but I feel so bloated (it's PMS time) and I don't FEEL like I lost any weight. I'll probably gain tomorrow and be all depressed.

I have a meeting in a few minutes so I better run. See ya later!

Belle: The first Christmas I spent at my b/f's mom's, one of his exes just showed up one morning to say hi. It was like 10 in the morning, I had just gotten up and was wearing sweats, no makeup and my glasses. Then I had to meet her ... it was HORRIBLE!

I just think you can be civil to someone without actually having to go out of your way to see someone. But you know how I feel about ex-girlfriends!

No, she lives in Halifax on the east coast and this job is in Vancouver on the West coast....Yay! B/f would like to move east later, but not back to the maritimes, more like Ontario or Quebec.

Maybe it will be closure. I sure don't want to NOT meet her if b/f goes to see her. I think she should meet me and see that I am real. B/f said when he saw her last xmas, when I wasn't there, that he felt it was more closure for her then, when he talked about me and showed pics and stuff and was more real to her, and there was that time she talked to me on the phone....

BUT I am still obsessed about weighing a decent normal weight when I see her, you know?

Anyway, thanks for listening.

Kim, how was your appt? are you okay??

If you are up tomorrow, its TOM. I gain a bit every TOM but I am prepared fo rit now, even though its a bit depressing....

Belle (the challenged)

Kim.. nope, didn't get that impression at all. I have noticed a couple new Emma's popping up recently tho. But I still love the name. Speaking of which, you mentioned Annaliese, I almost named Emma... Emmalise. Hubby hated that. I think Emma is short and sweet. I do think it is weird that you know so many people that named their kids all the same.

I think I like Annaleigh the best. Anna is another fave of mine. But having 2 girls... one Emma, one Anna, maybe be weird! Love Olivia too, and Hannah, but would never use that one because it is way tooo popular. Last year that was the #1 name in the US. I check these things out!!! Go to the social security website... Somewhere on there I found the popular names list!!

I have to admit that (As Lolly pointed out) I don't like the surname names for boy... the Hunter/Parker etc. Too trendy for me. But then again, I am not a Tiffany, Brittany fan either. Just my opinion!

Cherrio!

Jen & Belle - The comment about losing weight and still seeing the heavy person is something that my sister and I were just talking about today. I lost 30 pounds almost 2 years ago and this is the first time in my life I have ever been thin. I still do not look at myself as a thin person and am still surprised by the amount of attention I now get from guys (not a ton, just more than before) I wonder all the time if I will ever stop seeing the heavy person when I look in the mirror. I mean, sometimes I look at myself and realize how much better I look than I used to, but I still feel like the heavy girl. It's weird...
Belle - If you absolutely have to meet the ex (which I don't think you should have to because there seems to be no real reason he needs to see her) just remember that you are the one he chooses to be with, and that should make her feel awkward, not you. Try not to worry about it so much...

Whew my work day is almost ending and I thought I should properly post. Thanks for the cheesecake input. I ate a tiny piece. I will probably say7 since that is the lowest quote I heard Um I am doing well on pts. I have done well the past couple of days and I will know how well I did for the wk on Fri. am. I am hoping that it is good.

Anyways

Lori-I am so glad that things went well with DF's family. That is always a huge relief. Whew hew in with the fam!!!!!!

Janet- I am glad you found something that works for you

Stacey- Isn't it funny how when your single it is "when are you getting married?" then when babies? then when are your having more kids etc etc etc. I know it is so ridiculous. Oh well peopole just like to investigate I guess.

Jen-YOur story about Emma's name was so precious. I am not even close to having children but Idon't think I want to know the sex either.

Belle-YIKEs, I am kinda with you on this one. Why does he need to see her??? OH well if you are past that I would just talk to your b/f about what you will need from him when your are with her to feel good. Such as a lot of attention whether it be physical or just talking. Think aobut what he could do to help the situation but more importantly be confident in yourself. I know that is sooooooooo much easier said than done. If it were me I would pray that God would remind me of my accomplishments and help me to be confident. Prayer always centers me Anyways I hope that it goes well and for the millionth time you are beautiful

Well Ladies gotta go but I will check in soon!
Becky

Speaking of last names as first names, a friend of mine had a little boy 10 months ago and named him Brady. Not sure I like it. Another friend named her little boy Wyeth.

A cool name I've heard in the past few years is my friend Wendy's little girl (who is now 2), Raina.

Belle: I'm doing OK. The procedure I'm having to zap off the bad cells isn't until Aug. 6. I prefer not to think about it much til then! It's easier that way! But I did quit smoking. I wasn't a big smoker, but it had increased over the past year. Once I read that smoking can contribute to cervical dysplasia, I quit that minute. Haven't had a cigarette in 5 days.

Becky, I would go for the lowest point count too! I am so bad that way! Oh well, what can you do! thanks for your support, I will take your advice.

Jen2/Jen - I guess she SHOULD be the one that feels uncomfortable and all. I just do NOT want her to be happy that I am overweight, you know?? does that make sense?

Jen2 - I have never been thin really, so I always see the fattest Belle, not where I am or where I will be. Its not easy to do!!!

Gotta go now for real!

Belle

Kim - congrats on quitting smoking!! Its a feat in itself. Good luck with that! i wont mention the procedure again until you do....

B