so why do I keep putting bad food in my mouth? I am really stuck girls and I just do not know what to do. I know the ww program inside and out, I know what works, I know that it is possible for people to change their lifestyle and can be healthy, I know that you can learn to love exercise, I know that I have lots of support out there. Do I just not believe in myself? I know that I am an emotional eater and I have had bouts of binging( due to emotional downfall) it's not cool to sit in your car in the grocery store parking lot and eat a coffee cake-the whole thing.I don't love myslef, and I don't know how to start. I can still hear my exhusband in my head telling me that I am fat and ugly and I can't make it stop. I want to thinner so bad it hurts, it actually makes me cry. It hurts to sit in the desks at school, because it hurts! I don't fit! Iam surrounded by 18 yr old thin girls and I feel like they are all staring at me. My long term goal seems so big and unreachable. I know that I need to take it one pound at a time-but it is so hard sometimes. Now I feel like I am just whinning and I need to just shut up and get over it. I'm smoking again-more than I was before I quit. My house is full of good food and I still went to BK for breakfast. I need to STOP!
From now on, I am taking this one day at a time. No more looking at sucess stories for hours on end and being jealous. I need to do this for me.period.No more negative self talk.
OK, sorry for the vent.I needed to get it out. Sorry if I was a bummer...

Lisa

I am right there with you. I know how to do it, I know what needs done. But I just ate a pile of popcorn chicken. I too am an emotional eater. Right now my emotions are raw and I am on edge. Therefore I am eating. I want to run in the bathroom and make myself throw it all up, but I promised DH I wouldn't do that anymore. Is it possible to be fat and bulemic? It just doesn't seem like I try. I mean to try, I think about trying, I plan to try. And then I don't. Most of all I am sick of paying for it while I waste the money by not putting in the effrot.

I really just wanted to say, that you aren't alone and that together we can do this, one day at a time, one small step at a time.

Have you checked into getting counseling at the university? You should be able to get it for free since you're a full-time student.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. We'll all be right here for you.

Hey girls.........you're bringing tears to my eyes!!! I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!!! I think that most of us here are with you! I wish I had all the right answers for you and ME! But.........I sincerely think a lot of this is hereditary too! izzywas...........we have to surround ourselves by people that like and love us for US! Then, I think we can focus on liking ourselves. I dunno. Just seems logical to me! Take baby steps.....focus on one thing instead of all the other stuff like school, smoking, dieting, etc......we put so much on our plates and think we can accomplish them all. Are we strong enough for that?!?!?! You have so much on your plate that you are trying to accomplish!!!! (not to mention the things WE don't know about)! I'm sorry about all the blabbing, I'm just trying to help. I do understand where you are coming from. When I weighed 289# I hated myself, life, my husband, home..........and on & on. I lost 100# (189 - woohoo, would like to be there again)! anyways, after the 100# loss I LOVED everybody! It was weird! So my point is obvisously those things go hand in hand. Last year I gained aprx. 60# + back and I again was depressed and hated everything again. I believe they all go together.
Sorry for all the blabbing! Can't put my finger on what I'm trying to say, but if you need anyone to talk to...I'm here! I would even be happy to pm you my phone # if you need me to!!!!!

Caroline - any advice???? You have been there and have accomplished sooo much!

(((((izzywas)))))



I so understand what you mean, and I'm also right there. I hate the way I look, and I know what I need to do to change it, but I just cant seem to do it. I know I need to exercise, and what I should and shouldn't eat, but it doesn't matter, I'm still pigging out on bad foods. I bought a TON of junk food this weekend, and ate way to much.

It just sucks ya know? I keep thinking, I just need to do this one step at a time. I tried to just start with working out, I bought the biggest loser DVD and I LOVE it, and did it a few times 2 weeks ago, and felt awesome. But that was it. I couldn't get to the next step of making it a daily or every other day thing, and then couldn't get to counting points. So I tried to do it the other way, start with counting points again, and then work into exercising - that hasn't worked either. Well, I know it will work, I just cant seem to make myself stick with something and stay motivated.

I hate being fat, I hate that I don't feel comfortable in my clothes, and get out of breath from doing stupid small things.

And don't feel bad for venting - lol as you can tell from what I wrote above, I was going to come here and post all that in a new thread myself. Venting is good, and you're not being a bummer at all!!!

I'm right there with you, and wish I knew the answer!

~Liz

Hi. I am feeling the same way. I can't seem to stay motivated to count the points. I recently purchased Dr. PHil's book regarding weight loss, so, I hope that it will inspire me to do better. I am a junk food junkie and not a good cook either. Do any of you ladies know of any easy quick recipes or cookbook for those of us that are challenged in the kitchen. Thanks ladies.

When I was in 8th grade and at a fairly healthy weight, my dad's girlfriend at the time had a grown teenage daughter. She kept expressing to my dad about me needing to be thinner and more active like her daughter. Because my dad's side of the family has weight issues, he started to agree. It came to a point that I became a closet bulemic. I hid candy under the bed with money that I lied about (I told my dad that school lunches cost more than they did and I skimmed the whole year). While he had good stuff LOCKED in the deepfreezer, I was eating the bad stuff under my bed. I would throw up several times a week when he wasn't home. I GAINED weight. FAST. He would make me get on scales and tell me how many calories plums or cheese has. I didn't want to diet. I wanted to be left alone. He actually did it out of good intentions but went about it in the wrong way.

THEN...One day I moved in with my mom for a year. She cooked huge 3 course meals that were healthy. Other than to tell me that sodas caused a lot of weight gain, she said nothing to me that year. She was feeding me a variety of good food. I was loving it and thinking I ate WAY more than at my dads. I did (he's a bachelor what do you expect?). Then my mom let me out of the house (gasp! My dad was afraid I would meet boys). Guess what, I did. Hahaha. I went water tubing all summer. I lost 12 lbs that summer. It's not a lot in the long run, but it made me realize that I didn't have to live like that. THen I also told my dad "I lost weight no thanks to you." I ate what I want, when I wanted. I felt more empowered. Then every time I get pregnant the whole cycle starts over. The best thing I got though is not the ability to lose weight, but the ability to not let others opinion affect my own. To do it for me.