I hate the 5 day work week.....I vote for a 4 day !
Hello to everyone ! Boy has this group grown !
well, It's been crazy at work. 4/1 is the doom day..no more $$$ I haven't talked about it much....but I might be losing my job.
I have mixed feelings...part of me is stressed...part of me looks forward to it....go figure.
b/f got a new job ! I'm so excited...he has been so moody the last couple months because he was not happy...it really affected me...I fed off that negative energy...anyone else that way ? it's based in Canada...so he will have to go to Ottawa for 2 weeks...if I lose my job...I'm going with him...who's close ? Maybe we can meet up :-)
so WI is tonight....I feel pretty good about the last week...if I show a gain...I don't what I will do !
I also signed up for some personal training sessions at my gym. Tonight is the first one...I'm looking forward to it...
Hey Jen. Well, they dated for one year in University and then the next year she went to T.O for 16 months. they decided to keep the "long distance" thing, but he wasn't happy with it. So when she came home, he said he didn't know if it would work now, he wasn't happy with that. They dated for another half a year and then he had enough....you see, she is East Indian, and he is a very white red-head. Her family did not approve and she never ever told them they were dating. He and the ex argued a lot, starting just before they went to Toronto. She has a very low self esteem and that bothered him. She needed to hear that she was pretty a lot and put herself down alot. She also had jealousy issues that got worse when they were apart.
He still can't understand why she is torn btw being Indian or being Canadian, but its a huge cultural difference.
And in his words (long before we were dating) he just realized he didn't have much fun with her, she didn't like any of the same things he did, and he just didn't think they were meant for eachother.
She didn't feel the same way, she thought he was the one, and wrote him long letters (which I have read) about how they were both getting old (25 is old?) and soon she'd be fat and he'd be bald and no one would want them so they may as well get back together.....its weird. She always refers to her "nina - insecurities" about herself. She doesn' t have many friends. Well, According to my b/f, she had no friends at all in university and so she made him her sole friend. She was angry with her family, so she wouldnt even relate with them. ANd she would always sulk about why no oneliked her and why she had no friends. She wasn't very outgoing either.
She is smart though, a engineer and just became manager at 27, so she must have that going for her, and she is thin and pretty. but personality maybe is a bit lacking......her letters were very boring - one was about her thoughts on global warming, I kid you not.
Anyway, he broke up with her, and got a job in a different city, went there for a couple months, quit his job, came back and lived with her, without dating. They did have sex though, and he regrets that, cuz he felt he was leading her to believe that he would take her back, and he didn't think they were meant to be. So, realizing he couldn't live with her, he took a job in Calgary in March 1999. In June 1999, she came to visit and they had sex again. Then, I met him in Aug 1999. And in Sept 1999 he went back home again, had sex with her again. Then in March 2000, we were really good friends by this time, he went home again and had sex again, and this time, he wasn't sure why he did it, and felt really bad cuz her hopes were up again. Then our relationship started growing, I broke up with my ex right about the same time, and in early August, she decided she couldn't talk to him anymore to try and get over him, she felt that he might date me b/c we were together so much, he said he didn't know....I didn't know any of this at the time.
Then Aug 24 we started dating. He told me he wasn't going to tell her right away b/c she was emotionally stressed out about him. I wasn't too happy about that, I told my ex right away. Then in Sept she started calling again, and I asked if he told her and he said he did, aboutthe end of Sept.
He went home in December for 2.5 weeks (it was **** for me!!!) and she was there too - I knew when he saw her, she spend his b-day with him, I was choked. But, he called me every day except one, which was nice.
Anyway, while there she asked if they were still friends since they didnt' talk as much since he dated me. ANd he said yes, but his time is being taken up by me. And she said that he seemed happy since he'd been with me so I must be good for him.
Adn that is the last time they have seen eachother. But she calls still. The past month, not as much. And she called on the weekend, as you know, and he kept mentioningme and only talked about work.
He said that when he mentioned a job in another city and said that is the only complicaiton to our relationship, she said that maybe I would go with. Who knows, this is just what he tells me she says.
Well, that is about all I know. This is long, I know, but now you all know the whole thing with her, why it has made me feel so insecure......every time they saw eachother before we were dating, they had sex. So it does worry me...... I know he still finds her attractive but maintains that they are just friends, and he says even if she lived here he would not date her, with or without me. But that he would choose me over her to date any day and once he said I was the best g/f he has ever had. So that must be good!?
Jules Ottawa is the hot place to be! I live here and Ali is moving here! Ali I live right around centretown myself. I'm near Chinatown, and I love it. I went to McGill for law. We'll have to meet when you come... maybe you could even attend one of my WW meetings! Trish I have finished law school, but in Ontario you have to be an apprentice for a year before you can write your bar exams... that's what I'm doing now. I believe my furture to be in civil litigation.
Cabury creme eggs are delish! Confession: I even love those huge Laura Secord creme eggs.
Jen: nag, nag nag away. I sure could use it. I have these really cute pants that I LOVE for spring/summer. They are just a little (but uncomfortable) tight right now. I love them when they are BIG on me. So urbad. Anyway, I really want them to fit for spring/summer. Your help would be much appreciate!
Ali: Actually, the eggs are not that bad. According to Dotti, the regular kind are 4pts and the double fudge kind are 4.5. I eat them really slowly and lick out the middle (sick, i know, but they last really long that way). My hubby eats them in like 2 bites. Yikes! I have asked my mom to not send any candy for my easter basket (she still sends hubby and me an easter basket and I send them one.)
hey, has anyone baked with a room full of kids? This weekend I have to bake reserection cookies with the sunday school kids. I am going to try them out tomorrow night and see how they go (then I am going to drop the samples off at the church office as I AM NOT going to eat them!). I was jsut worried about that many kids age 3-13 baking in one small church space. Maybe I will bring some samples to the class just in case they don't work out and are not able to eat for treat. Any thoughts? I don't bake much...so a bit nervous.
Hi Everyone Thank you for the get well wishes... I'm still sick but going to drive home to NY anyways. My friends keep telling me I should go to the doctor... ugh, I hate doctors! Anyways...
Belle...the time limit seems like a good idea. You've been agonizing over this guy for ages now...he may just not be the right one for you. I know it's hard to think that tho. On Saturday a good friend of mine got to meet my "net guy" and she thinks that we're uncannily matched for each other. It's sort of strange to have someone else say that looking in on my relationship with him. Tho... we're supposedly still just close friends. He has a lot of things to work thru yet and I don't think he's ready to move from that safety zone of just friends. We shall see tho. Just thought of that with your story Belle...what do your friends say? Sometimes outsiders really can see things clearer. Do they think you need to move on?
Ali...your PMS monster story made me laugh! LOL I hope you're feeling better...
Hope you are all having a nice day I'm off to start driving home... I started writing this hours ago but got kinda sidetracked lol.
I know how they got together, and this bugs me. He had a class with her and thought she was hot so he pursued her for the semester and then got together with her. It was a mainly a physical attraction in the beginning nad they were both in engineering so they had that in common.
But with him and me, I was dating and he was still in a messed op sort of relationship with her and we were friends, and although he says he always thought I was pretty, there was no animal magnetism thing. One day in May, 2000, we were bowling late and I came to his place and we snuggled on the couch, and he told me after we were dating, that he wanted to kiss me but didn't think I really had broken up with my b/f.
Anyway, how we got together, is: from May - August we were spending more an more time jsut he and I , and mostly it was b/c our other frineds never came with and it just endedup the 2 of us until we just didn't bother inviting anyone else along. Then one night we went to our buddies for a BBQ and after we ended up "getting together". So, there was nothing terribly romantic about it....it just happened. b/f says it would have happened no matter what, it was inevitable.
I don't know, I sort of wish he WANTED me, you know? Pursued a bit. ANd saying I was an attractive gil, well, that isnt' what I mean. Cuz he WANTED her. With me, we just sort of happened. You know??
WOW! You all have been postin' queens! I won't lie, I cannot post to everyone, but I did read all of them!
A big "Hi'! to you all!
Just a couple comments (I hope no one is offended, I didn't post to you personally, just don't have the time today!!)
Trish ~ I am very happy for you that your dr. appt. went well, our dr's can make or break our attitudes, especially ob/gyn's. When your pregnant, often times you see your doc more than your DH, so your relationship has to be good! I have heard great things for charting your temps. My SIL did that for her second child (was having problems getting pregnant, really screwed up menstral cycle) and after two months of charting, she became pregnant! So, I am sure that will happen for you shortly too! I do understand your emotions right now, after DH and I lost our second child when I was 22 weeks pregnant, all I could think about for the next 6 months was when can I get pregnant again, and "can I" get pregnant. Alot of blaming yourself happens, just remember, our bodies do things for a reason....hang in there!
Brenda ~ Way to turn down the pizza, that is my biggest failure, pizza! I love it!!
Belle ~ Don't let BF get you down, men aren't worth it! (Nice, coming from a married woman!) I had two relationships that were very long (one 3 years, the other 1.5 years) and I look back now, and wish I would have left sooner, look how much life I missed out on (or other men, for that matter!!)
Well, as for me, I was home yesterday with a sick child. But, all is well today. Trying to catch up on work. My eating yesterday wasn't great, but I did stay within points, I ate a McD's quarter pound meal deal, and skipped dinner because of it (I know, I don't make a habit of it) anyway, I am starting new today, and Monday was a good day, so hopefully I will still have a loss this week. I am walking at lunchtime again.
Well, better get some work done...check in later!!
Just to follow up on Shalyne... I once dated a guy that I was crazy about, but my friends and family were not. They started softly, by pointing out things that maybe I didn't want to hear. Then they became more and more frustrated.
What time (and a broken heart) taught me was that when everyone who loves you says the same thing, it's not because they're jealous of the relationship . The reason why everyone gently (and then not-so-gently) tried to talk to me about this guy was because they were genuinely concerned about what effect this relationship was having on me.
Just some thoughts....
Sister Kristin: Thinks I should run screaming
Sister Alana: Thinks he is clearly falling in love and scared to admit it/commit. Figures I have ruined his "plan" to move around and stuff and marry at like 30.
Oly: Thinks I should give him more time - he went from a wacked relationship with the ex to me and from having all his own time to having someone else to consider. She does think he has selfish tendancies and that I should focus on me more and if he chooses to leave, he isn't worth it. She is all for a timeframe.
Becky: Thinks he is falling in love too but hates how he treats me and thinks he better "shape up or ship out". She thinks I shoud play a little mind game of sorts and give him his "time off" and make myself unavailable to him, go out more, hang out with my friends, go on a self improvement plan and then he will realize what he has and make more of an effort (I am not so sure that mind games are goodthough).
That is the general opinion with my closest friends.
Well, Wednesday, thank goodness the week is half gone. Things seem to be good~despite the usual rollercoaster. I was very angry about the pre-nup stuff last night because bf changed his story a little. The night before he claimed it would be to appease his rich mother because he fears that she would x him out of her will. But last night it was about my age and he thinks that even if I say I would always be fair no matter if we split or not I might change my beliefs because I am young now. I am 23 he is 30. My mother said that my beliefs will change for the better~I agree. My mom said she was proud that I was being so strong about the whole thing. This morning before bf left he asked if I would make him some bannana bread with the verey ripe bannannas we have. I said okay, I will make the bread and in exchange I won't have to sign any pre-nup. *giggle* He said then don't worry about the bread but I said "no no I'll make the bread and I won't sign." He just laughed and kissed me goodbye
I have thought about it though and I told him that I know that whatever is his before the marriage (house) is his if we spilt. He knows I am not a gold digger. And if ever his mother insists on a pre-nup then he can choose if he wants to marry me or make his mother happy. Who incidently is really not nice at all. He doesn't even like to associate with her (thank god for small miracles) I feel that we can do just fine without her money and if he isn't willing to stick up for my/our morals then I wouldn't want to marry him anywasy.
So all in all I'm not so unhappy about it because I am very strong willed and opinionated and ya know thats what bf loves about me. Gotta take the good with the bad.
Belle~ I agree with your friends, he is clearly falling in love but is scared of his own feelings, common guy trait. I also hear you about not getting the whole "shes so hot I have to get her thing" I don't get that from bf~ but ya know, I have to say I would rather have a great personality than a great body. We can change our bodies but the ex will be boring for life
Oh I am in a fiesty mood!
Trish~ good luck with those kids!!!!!
Shayle~ awesome about that guy....you are being smart taking it slow.
Tonya~ don't worry about the mcd's, you made up for it and it's better not to deprive yourself.
Jules- good luck at WI
Lori- don't worry about it, just get back on the wagon. It is the strongest that can pick themsleves up after a fall.
Okay well, thanks so much for all the advice and help. You guys rock! Have a good Wednesday!
Oh, have to add one last thing.....incidently, bf's mother is not wealthy because she worked to get the $, she married into money. I wonder if she had to sign a pre-nup.
Your b/f's mom sounds like a weirdo (she and my stepmonster should get together!!)
I would follow your heart....I am sure he will see that soon too!
So with my b/f, you would agree to wait it out and see if it gets better? I do think he has pretty strong feelings, you know, its in how he acts sometimes. But this whole freaking out thing, its most taxing!!
anyhoo, about the body and personality - you are SO RIGHT!! She was pretty and thin and he left her b/c of her personality. I already have the personlaity he likes, he always says we "work on many levels and have lots of fun" so I have that at least!
When I was in 6th grade, I did extra credit assignments on the weather b/c I just knew I wanted to be a weather woman.
Well, I went to WI and only gained .5#!! I was really happy with that! I expected more of a gain since I had been slacking, but hey! and I'm bloated, too, so most of that .5# is water weight. Woo hoo! There's still hope for me!
Ok ladies, 100 days left until the wedding. That kind of puts a "nervous" perspective on everything, doesn't it?
So many things I still need to buy, yet not enough money. HA that's the story of my life! Well my boss just went to lunch, but I think I'm going to go walk.
Trish: You have given me new hope for the Cadbury Egg! I loved those when I was little and thought I had to give them up for good. YUMMY!
Ok, I'm off to walk.
Wow! I can remember the days when one thread would last for at least 2 days! Now one thread doesn't even seem big enough for one morning! That's great!!!
Have a great afternoon to all!!
Belle, that is a STORY with your BF and his ex. Now I understand a whole lot more why he has so much trouble getting rid of her - she sounds super- monster- dependent, and those kinds of people can really reel you in. Whatever you decide about time limits or what have you, carry on doing what you've been doing and putting Belle first and making sure you get plenty of Belle time. You can NEVER put a time limit on that
Suzanne - how was the prenuptial banana bread?! I am getting married next year and I must confess, it hadn't occurred to either of us to get a prenup ... but that's probably because neither of us owns anything. I won't be fighting for his car and he won't be fighting for my viola, which is the most valuable thing I have ... Hope you get everything sorted. Whoever said to talk it through with him and find out what's really bothering him, that's what I'd do too. Good luck!
Stacey - 100 days left! Eek! I'm excited on your behalf!!! Do you have your dress and everything? Are you having a hen night? What are you going to do the night before the wedding? My Mum says we have to stay in different places ... makes it more romantic, she says, but I'm not sure sleeping in my old bed at home is what I want to do the night before - too many memories, when I want to be looking at the future ... well, I have plenty of time to be thinking about it, I guess...
I am having the worst chocolate craving right now and am SERIOUSLY tempted to go and find some ... I haven't had chocolate since I got to Spain (unless you count the evil Oreos at the cinema ...). SIGH. But Blokey is calling tonight, so HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY and hopefully my sister will call too and tell me how she got on this weekend in Amsterdam with her new Israeli man (yup, her life really is that exciting!),
Just got back from WI and I broke a new decade! I'm pumped. I lost 1.2 #, so it was a good week for me. I'm with Tonya in that I've read all the posts, but I can't keep up right now. Here are a few of my thoughts...
Belle~WOW! With all of this history I think you are handling the situation very well. I agree with Lolly that you should keep the me time. I also agree that you shouldn't compare yourself to the ex. You're soooo right noticing the personality thing. That means way more in the long run! BTW love your dogs name!
Stacy~100 days will go be so fast (not to scare you). Enjoy this time! Don't stress too much on the details because it will all fall into place. Family and friends are really good at helping out as the wedding approaches. I know you've been told this a million, but it is true! Best wishes to you! Marriage is a blast.
Suzanne~Luckily my DH and I didn't have to worry about the pre-nup because we both started with little. I did work for two years while he was still in school so I was a little better off, but most of my assets were arranged as an entity so they were protected. We had to go through 6 meetings with a sponsor couple and they helped us figure out the money issues. I am a spender and he is a saver, so I guess we balance each other out. I am proud of you for standing your ground. Keep the communication open with him and you will work it out and avoid any resentments. I guess thats the best advice I can give.
Tonya~don't worry about the McD. I did that a couple of weeks ago with a Big Mac meal and still lost!
Lori~ This is the best place for making "confessions"! I think all of the people around me are sick of me making confessions to them, so I do it here. Just get back on the wagon and you'll be fine. Remember this is a life long journey and there are always good days and bad days.
Lola ~How do you like working for WW? I am tossing the idea around myself.
Brenda~ Way to go on the Pizza. You are much stronger than I. That is one food I have a hard time with (actually all fattening foods ).
Tonya, thank you for the insight and the understanding. You are right, maybe I am blaming myself and my body for what happened. I feel like my body let me down once before, it may let me down again. I think I will see how this goes and remember it has only been a little over two months. It just feels like forever.
Belle: that is quite a story with the BF's ex. She sounds like she was many problems. No advice right now on what to do except Lolly is right, make sure you make Belle time.
Lolly: sounds like you are having such a wonderful experience.
Stacey: that is great about WI. You will get that off in no time!
Suzanne: the pre-nup bread craked me up. I think you are doing the right thing and keeping communication open.
Shalyne: Go to the Dr. (Hugs) hope you feel better soon.
Lola: My hubby is in civil litigation. Interresting line of work.
Jules: will be thinking of you and your job issues. Glad BF is happy with the new job.
Wednesday's are a tease !
. The reason why everyone gently (and then not-so-gently) tried to talk to me about this guy was because they were genuinely concerned about what effect this relationship was having on me. 
