Hi, Turtles,

My mother called me last night with some bad news. I could use some prayers and good vibes. My brother had the MRI after the last batch of chemo. The tumor in his brain isn't getting smaller. It's not getting bigger, but that's only a matter of time. The doctors estimate sometime around the end of this year. It's hard because he's my "baby" brother. I'm the oldest. We're not close because he can be a total jerk, but he's still my brother. There will still be a void where he ought to be.

The hardest thing is to be living close enough to visit regularly, but not having reliable transportation so I can do so. My mother said that she wished we still lived there. So do I, but I can't see any way to change that right now. I almost wish we were on the other side of the country! It would make not being able to vist and help out a little easier.

I had a real battle with emotional eating last night. I resisted, but major crises and stresses that I cannot take action on are my main buttons, these days. And we've had a lot of those this past year, as you know. I had a major session with my journal this morning. I'm not eating in response to this crisis. But I need some strength to continue to do so. Especially since next week is PMS.

Anyway, so far, I'm OP today. I'm going for a walk in a little while. Walking does help relieive stress and depression.

Have a great day, everyone!

Happy turtlin'! :cool: I can be happy with turtlin' because turtlin' helps me to feel better, even if my general mood isn't the best right now.

Lin
272/234/225/135 or so

Oh, Lin, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you, your brother, and your family. Please let us know if there's any way we can possibly help. At the very least we're always here to listen.

Rather than visiting regularly, which is limited for you right now, could you write long, chatty letters? It would help you to write, and might make your brother smile to remember exploits from childhood and growing up, or to hear about what's happening in your family. Just a thought.

We are here for you, my fellow Turtle, you know where to find us.

Lin,
I'm sorry for the bad news about your brother. I've got him and you and your family in my prayers. Journaling to try and get on top of the sadness and stress that this kind of news brings is a very good idea. I wish there were something I could say to make things better, but I know there isn't. Keep on turtlin'. Here's a huge hug!

Judy
234/206/199soon

Lin, I'm sorry your brother's cancer hasn't gotten any better. :( That's not good news. I hope you can find a way to keep in touch with him right now, even if it's just by letter. Maybe you could do what my mom does -- send him comic strips and articles you come across. She doesn't write much, just sends these things. It makes me realize that she's thinking of me. Maybe the comic strips (or whatever) could cheer him up.

Good for you not eating in response to this. It won't make it any better. Just keep telling yourself that being hungry isn't the problem, so eating won't make it go away. Sounds like your PMS will be particularly difficult this time, too, with this additional sad news. Hang in there; we're rooting (and praying) for you.

I finally had a good day eating-wise today. And I did a good workout this morning, extra long. I did my usual 1-hour workout (this time was Paula Abdul, because she's my toughest), and then I flopped around through a video I was trying to decide whether I was going to keep. It's called "Jamaica Me S'wet," and it's the first exercise video I bought. I only did it a few times and then forgot about it. I dusted it off and tried it again today and realized just what an awful video it is. They work out on sand, so they do all these twists that would just kill your knees to do on carpet. And they're dressed in such a way that ... well, let's just say this video is basically eye candy for the male half of the population. (The leader has massive boobs in a little bikini top, and no matter how hard she moves the boobs remain stationary. Can you say SILICONE?) I can't believe I ever took this thing seriously.

Anyway. I'm up on the scales, and I suspect only a small part of it is water. This hasn't been a great week food-wise. But I'm not too down on myself; no guilt and move on. Today was good, and tomorrow I'll build on that.

Onward and downward,

Lauren
274/196/189 by April 17

Hi, Turtles,

Thank you so much for all of your loving posts. I appreciate the kind words of my cyberspace buddies.

This thread is getting long, so I'm going to start a new one. Can you believe we're up to #50?

Lin