It has long been a tradition of mine that on friday I can have a "treat"--something I have been craving but not letting myself have during the week. In addition to this, for lunch I can order whatever I want. Generally we go to Tio Leo's Mexican Restaurant, so my choice is probably going to be some form of white flour (tortillas) and cheese.
Two weeks ago I started imagining donuts during the week. So, on friday last, I had a donut and a few bites of another. They were very very sweet and seemed at the same time dry and powdery. I shrugged it off.
This last week I have been devoting myself to the idea of eating plenty of Superfoods every day, and really pushing fruits and veggies. I have felt healthy and strong and vital this week, and quite content with the foods I have been eating.
But still, it was friday! And friday I can have a treat! After I finished my Pilates session, I stopped at a local donut shop. I wanted donuts! (Picture a pouty small girl here, and you'll have the attitude.) So I got three. Took them home, got a drink, got my laptop, sat down to catch up and eat my donuts.
And I discovered that...well...I don't actually LIKE donuts. I had a bite of the apple fritter...no, DANG, too sweet! The oldfashioned...just...bleh. Something tasted...wrong. I broke off a piece of the buttermilk bar...sour and dry. I tried them all again. No, no...maybe. So resolutely I ate the buttermilk bar. I was going to have my treat! No matter if I enjoyed it or not...
I threw the rest away. I spent the morning being tired and restless and feeling like I wanted "something", but not eating anything more. Calorie balance, you know...after all, it's just calories in vs calories out, right?
Then we went to lunch. After debating a salad with chicken and beans and salsa and cheese, I ordered a crispy cheese quesadilla because it was Treat Day. I have never had that at this place but it came as a flat flour tortilla covered with cheese that had been broiled until it melted. Hmm. Okay. So I ate it. I was not satisfied. But I ate it. All of it. Trying to find that satisfaction. That sense that I had been indulged, if you will. That heavy, content, warm feeling of a full, satisfied body.
Eh. Not happening.
I drove to the UC library to pick up Superfoods RX. On the way I was debating stopping to find another 'treat', because I was not satisfied. I was not hungry, but I also was not content. I still felt like I wanted something. I didn't stop, though, just picked up my book and came home.
I've been sitting here and reading the introduction. It feeds (hah! PUN! ) directly into my belief that human bodies evolved to eat certain foods, and that the only tools our bodies have to work with to make themselves stronger are the foods we ingest. I will have to give this book serious study time, and most probably buy a copy of my own.
So anyway. Before I seriously settled in, I decided to get a snack. I finished lunch 2 hours ago, but I still was restless. Wanting. Craving. I got up and went into the kitchen, and looked at my lovely strawberries. They still looked beautiful. Kiwi was ripe. So I washed and topped my strawberries, and peeled and chunked my kiwi. I grabbed a bottle of water and came through again to sit down and read.
I've just finished about 1.5 cups of strawberries and 1 kiwi fruit. My body is singing, and I am content.
Next friday for a treat, I'll go get my toenails painted.