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Old 10-21-2004, 05:17 AM   #61  
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One more thing on that tv show, Melanie, please do share what you might learn from it, good or bad....
Linda
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Old 10-21-2004, 10:09 AM   #62  
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Hi, all. Not much new to report from last night, but I can’t stay away!

Linda – I will probably try to watch that show again next week to see how it progresses. Maybe they were just trying to jumpstart the loss last week. If I get anything out of it, good or bad, I’ll let you know.

It’s amazing, I think, how fast a woman’s emotions can change. Yesterday, I was driving to class and had to drop off a bill at a place with a winding driveway. I thought to myself how thin I felt and had so much more room between me and the steering wheel. Then, last night, I turned mean. I just started feeling fat. Like I haven’t accomplished anything. I know that’s not true, but that’s still kinda how I feel this morning. I mentally gained 50# last night. I’m just intimidated by how far I have yet to go on this journey. Maybe it is a good thing that the Women’s Retreat for church is this weekend. I could use some renewing.

Hope everyone else is well.
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Old 10-21-2004, 12:46 PM   #63  
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Good afternoon y'all!! Sorry I wasn't here yesterday...worked... I only had 18 pts yesterday so I will make sure I have 20 today. I don't know if I told y'all, but I recently found out Christmas dinner will be at my house this year...20+ people here....I have been planning that. I love Christmas time and I love to decorate!! Ok enough of that let's get through October first!!LOL
Congrats to Natalie and Melanie on the weight loss!!
Melanie, I know exactly how you feel!! Since I have this thyroid disease the weightloss has been sooooo slow...and sometimes I start thinking about how long it COULD take for me to lose this last 20+ pounds and I get discouraged, then I get over it and pray for a faster weightloss. I will just continue to do what I have to do...oh and I am just like you...I have to have a plan and I usually do bring food to events to help me stay OP...I just try not to bring alot of attention to myself...at family things it is easier because if they love you they should want you to be healthier....oh I remember a good line when offered something you shouldn't eat...or don't have points...say I'm allergic to that It makes me break out in fat all over!!LOL
Dawny....in this area they won't let a lifetime member weigh more than once per month...But it doesn't bother me, cos I weigh at home and then I can just enjoy my meeting everyweek.
Ok time for exercise session #2 for today..I will try to check back in later on. Lynn
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Old 10-21-2004, 04:07 PM   #64  
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True confession time.... if I can't be honest with you guys, who can I be honest with? I went to a quilt meeting this morning, went to the coffee shop for my usual coffee to bring along with my trusty 2 points bar in my tote bag and I couldn't stop myself.... I bought doughnut holes "for the group" and I wolfed several of them down. Maybe 12? I didn't even count, I was out of control. What the heck is wrong with me? That two points bar stayed right in my tote bag and I never even gave it a thought, I "wallowed" in this.
I've been so good all week and I truly didn't plan on doing what I did, but it was like an alcoholic losing control and taking a drink, I think. I have no excuses, but I brought the rest of them home with me and MADE my son eat them all (didn't take a great deal of pressure), so they are now gone. I don't think I can admit my guilt to even Jamie, who is doing SO well. For the first time in months, she now weighs less than me, as she should! I am a bit taller than she and lots older and have had two children, so she is really doing well!
I estimated how much I ate, journalled them as well as what I plan on eating for the rest of the day. Then, I went out and did over an hour of raking in the yard and didn't count the extra points. I know I have flex points, but that doesn't give me permission to do what I did. At least, not as many as I had.... what a jerk I was.
The weird thing is that I'm not feeling sad and guilty, though, as I think I should feel - maybe that will come tomorrow or on weigh in day? I just felt like I absolutely HAD to have them.
Lynn, you sound very in control, of course being a former ww leader you KNOW how to do all of this so very well. But, that doesn't make it any easier.
Melanie, I have been there just like you. I've had days where I felt great and felt like I look great and then other days when I look in the mirror and say "you fat pig" in a very negative way. I always find myself wondering how I could let myself get this way, why didn't I put a stop to it all before it got so out of control? I don't have an answer to that, but only know that I am now in a mental "place" that is different and want to work on it NOW. I say this regardless of my "slip" this morning with those doughnut holes.
I had a three point lunch and no snacks ever since and will be making a healthy dinner, I feel satisfied and back in control for the moment.
Still, no answers as to why I just HAD to do what I did.... no one forced me, I did it.
Linda
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Old 10-21-2004, 05:20 PM   #65  
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Linda, I feel for you. I binged like a total pig for 2 nights in a row. I just feel so awful right now. I'm being such an idiot. I can't believe I let this happen. I feel like I wanna puke, I swear I won't do this to myself anymore, but I'm so afraid I'll slip again. Sorry guys for the rant, I feel like a total loser right now.
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Old 10-21-2004, 06:43 PM   #66  
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Y'all it's gonna be ok!!
Natalie you aren't a loser other than in a good way as in a weight loss loser!! Just start over right now if you haven't already. No guilt....Move on!!
Linda, these things happen....those donuts called you and this time you answered...your right not to feel guilty....what good would that do.....now think about what you would tell a dear friend if they did the very thing you did...you would be compassionate and probably give then great advice....now be compassionate w/yourself!! We will all have our days cos we are human... and your right....right now I am in control, but we can all take that wrong turn and when I do I know y'all will be here for me!! Lynn
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Old 10-21-2004, 07:16 PM   #67  
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Thanks Natalie and Lynn.... I know you guys understand better than anyone else. For whatever reason, I am not feeling guilty still. I figure I did this, I am aware that it was not the best choice for me and will move on.
Natalie, you need to feel ok with what you did and try to brainstorm (with ME, as I am just as guilty at the moment) about how to work it differently on another day.
I think I ought to be doing that as well.
A much BETTER choice for me would certainly have been to NOT buy the doughnut holes. But, if I was going through this wild craving, perhaps a better choice would have been to have bought 3 of them, had them and not decided to bring them along to the entire quilting group, this invariably led to me having MORE than I should have had and bringing leftovers home. I also confess to eating a couple more of them before getting my son to finish them off! So, if it was just something I really needed to get out of my system, buying a portion of them, having them and not being the instigator would have been a different way to handle things. I am the kind of person who LOVES to treat others with things, I feel really good when I do this. I have to examine if I am the one who is wanting the treats and why it becomes "ok" if I buy a whole bunch of stuff and bring it "for the group". Hmmmm.....
I think I feel better as I spent an hour raking leaves and was physical, at least. I had a very nice dinner, with good tastes and flavors and feel good right now. I think certain meals just have a nice combination of tastes sometimes and if you hit on a good combination that seems more satisfying?
Well, tomorrow is another day, I shall do better, I shall work out and get on that treadmill!
Linda
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Old 10-21-2004, 07:48 PM   #68  
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So, I'm not the only one?? I knew I shouldn't grab the bag of chips last night when I wasn't hungry. But, I did it anyway. Only let it be a little 1 pt slip, but I was just giving in. Today, I majorly want to pig out tonight. I think that is part of what is making me emotional today. I had a horrible day at work. One of the bad days when kids are being hurt and I can't fix it. Sometimes, I want to just dump the law and put the kids where I think they will be best. I remind myself that I only see a portion of the people in the world, but sometimes it is just overwhelming. I can't do my job and not care. And then I answer the phone to people who lives are in shambles because they just don't care enough to make it better. When I got home, I had a good cry and prayer. I know God is in control, but it is impossible for me not to care about these kids. They are more than just paper and names to me. Okay, thanks for letting me rant. I have scheduled a half day off tomorrow so I can unwind a bit. I'm going to get away for the afternoon and do some baking for the weekend retreat. Taking some needed mental health time.

Linda & Nat - reading your posts help me to remember that eating whatever I want tonight is not what I really want to do. We are on a journey here and we can avoid some of the potholes that we come across. I will try to keep that in mind tonight. I will not go get a banana split. Ooooo how I want one. Isn't it healthy if it has fruit in it?

Linda - I don't think it is bad that you don't feel guilty. You have your mind set right. You will figure out why and how not to do it again. But 100 lashes with a noodle is not required.

Nat - Same thing. You slipped. We have been eating negatively for a long time. The new habits do not happen overnight. It takes time to develop the new way of eating and training our instincts to put down the brownies and pick up the apple. Just use tomorrow as another day.

Lyn - Thanks for your great input. I'm glad one of us is not having a food freakout! We'll be here if your time comes!

Well, I'm going to go finish dinner and relax. I took out some of the day's frustrations with a good workout when I got home. Time to chill!

Love to all,
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Old 10-22-2004, 08:04 AM   #69  
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Red face FOOD FREAKOUTS!!!!!! (just getting your attention!)

Melanie, I loved your phrasing "food freakout"! Sounds like a Halloween kind of thing in a way! No more food freakouts for me today, and hopefully a reasonably "safe" weekend as well!
I am making a dish for dinner tonight that I am looking forward to! It's a Greek Shrimp Scampi, only 5 ww points per serving and it was originally from Cooking Lite magazine:
http://www.recipezaar.com/recipe/getrecipe.zsp?id=60529
You all might want to try it. I got the recipe years ago from Cooking Lite and it's been on line on several web sites. It's not awfully difficult to make and it's really great with salad and very low in points! So, a very satisfying meal will only be 6 points!
My husband just LOVES it! The best part of the entire meal is that no one in the house knows it's a "lite" recipe when you have it. They perceive that you'd gone to a great deal of trouble and savor every bite!!!!
This morning's breakfast was a banana, low fat cheddar and toasted ww rye bread, dry. 5 points.
I'm about ready to do a work out and will gain back 2 of those points. So, will have enough for a decent lunch and a snack or two and a 2 point dessert tonight, being right on program!
I feel back in control again today as if yesterday's food freakout (still loving that!) didn't happen.
Dawny? Everything ok?
Angie, Princess Angela? You guys ok?
Melanie, good luck with the food/retreat/work stress. I wish I could help those kids and families as well. The laws that are supposedly there to protect people can sometimes really get in the way, can't they? Sounds like the half day off is a great idea.
Linda
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Old 10-22-2004, 09:19 AM   #70  
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Well, looks like I may be getting plenty of exercise. My car died on the way to work and the oil light came on. DH is going to try putting oil in it, but is already preparing me that it might have turned into a big paperweight. So, I walked halfway to work this morning. Now, I’m at my desk having a laughing cow on toast. Gee, I love that stuff!

I managed to only eat 2 FPs last night. I’m trying to be good today, in case I get too tempted this weekend.

Linda - I’ll check out that recipe. It sounds yummy. I just hope the ingredients are light. I may be walking to the grocery!
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Old 10-22-2004, 12:20 PM   #71  
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Hey guys, thanks for the kind words. I did the number 1 mistake yesterday: Going to a supermarket on an empty stomach. I ended up with bags of chips and choc cookies, and having them at night. I'm such an idiot! Anyway, I'm off to a fresh start today, hopefully it will last. I'm munching my way through a fruit salad right now. It's not actually a fruit salad, I chopped up in small pieces a kiwi, an apple and a pear and tossed them together in a bowl. It's 3 points, but hey, healthier than a bag of chips! I've also decided to put on hold my WI day. So, I'll weigh myself on Friday instead of Wednesday, hoping to have achieved a slight loss.
Melanie- i'm sorry to hear that your car broke down, it must have been frustrating! Well, I guess you'll be walking a lot more now!

Linda- You know, I felt a little better yesterday, when I confessed here. It's good that you don't feel guilty though, I wish I didn't! I wouldn't feel guilty if I had one chip or one cookie, but I had tons! Anyway, I know you're a strong woman and can really start ahead anytime!

Lyn- Thanks a lot for the great support!


Take care girls!!
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Old 10-22-2004, 01:31 PM   #72  
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Hi there, sorry I've not been around, I just couldn't get on the pc last night, we had a horrendous thunderstorm and DH wouldn't let me turn it on!
Its taken me ages to read all of your posts that I've missed so I can't reply to them all, but I'll have a little go...

Linda, don't fret about the doughnut holes... I'd love to know what they were like, pretty yummy by the sounds of it! Especially if you ate 12 of them. Don't feel guilty, put it down to experience. Easy for me to say, I always feel guilty at the slightest downfall, when I shouldn't at all, so I have no need to talk! At least you burnt off some of those excess points. Hope Jamie enjoyed her shopping trip. There's no better feeling when you've lost weight than trying on fashionable new clothes in smaller sizes. Good for her. Oh, and TOM has arrived with a vengeance at last then. I agree with Melanie, you definitely look younger today!

Melanie, Hi, hope your weekend goes well. At least you now have an idea what you will be having, without intimidating the other folks there. Go and eat laughing cows until you are mooing with them! So you are walking to work again for a little while until the car is sorted. No bad thing maybe considering the weekend ahead, make the most of it, and hope the weather stays fine!

Nat, keep going girl.

Lyn, HI, I like you, have to plan very carefully every meal if I want to stay on track. If I forget to plan my evening meal I don't stand a chance, and then the local Chinese gets a bit richer! Actually tonight is going off plan because DH is having to work late and he will fetch himself a take out on the way home. I'm not cooking my planned chilli just for me, so I will have to hunt in the freezer, which is almost bare as tomorrow is shopping day, lets hope I find something that doesn't tempt me too much over points! Not that I have alot in the house that I shouldn't eat anymore. DH has to eat the same as me usually, as does AJ, so most of the stuff in the house is healthy anyway. Even so, I'm bound to find the one item that should be off limits - I wish it were doughnut holes (they sound so cute!)

Ok, back to reality, WI weds night. I lost 2.5 pounds!!! Kind of makes up for last weeks pound gain that came from nowhere. I don't think I did anything different really this week, except actually I have started weighing my cereal out again, maybe I had been overdoing it. We tend to underestimate sometimes how much is in a bowl, even when we think we've been doing this thing for so long that we can recognise every ounce! The loss was good news. I didn't get such good news today. At work I had a rep come to see me, selling stuff as usual, and when he was getting ready to go and just generally chatting away, he mentioned that I looked good - ok so far - then in the same breath, casually asked if I was expecting again !!!!!! I was not impressed.
I could have burst into tears there and then. I was devastated. This guy is usually so nice and softly spoken, and very much in touch with his feminine side, so to come out with a comment that is so typically male and inconsiderate really did my head in.
So, after having a nice thin day up to that point, I now feel like a beached whale. We do get these days, as Melanie mentioned earlier. It's one thing having a bad day, without someone coming out with a comment like that. I am not a happy bunny! If thats not an excuse for a tuck I don't know what is!

Oh well, now I've got that off my chest, I will go and get AJ to bed. Back tomorrow, take care and have a great weekend all of you.
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Old 10-22-2004, 04:07 PM   #73  
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hi ya'll

just checking in.. ya'll must think i'm such a flake...i just can't get it together...i 'dropped out' for a couple of weeks... .went back and had lost .8 what's up with that? so i re-joined... got sort of back on the wagon. weighed in today and had lost 4#. haven't even had time to read to catch up on everyone. just having a hard time with this break up and i've been working and sleeping more than anything. i'll catch up with everyone over the weekend. until then....
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Old 10-22-2004, 04:42 PM   #74  
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Whew! Baking is done. I should have enough to curb temptation (as long as I don't eat too much of this thinking it is healthy!). I have a Spice Apple cake, chocolate croissants, chocolate chip cookies, homemade doughnuts & holes, and pineapple/angel food cupcakes. Yes. I know I tend to overdo things. I'm looking around at the last 3 hours work and can't believe myself! God bless my mother for buying our dishwasher!

It's good to hear from everyone. I managed to get my car home, so hopefully it's not as bad as we thought, but I will be on foot for a few days. Oh, well. I just plan to go a few doors down anyway!

Nat - Sounds like you are having a tough time with temptation. Hope you have gotten the junk out of your system. Remember. One cookie is not the enemy. It's all the others in the bag you need to get mad at!

Dawny - Congrats on the loss! I have been wondering! Great work. Enjoy your night raiding the fridge!

Angela - I'm so glad to see you back! Great losses! You have to be doing something right. Just a day at a time is all we can do. And you cannot rush healing. If you break a bone, you have to stay off it and let it heal. The heart needs time to heal too.

Love to you all!
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Old 10-23-2004, 09:35 AM   #75  
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Whew... Just finished catching up on all of you for the week(s)... ya'll have been a busy bunch huh? I'm going to try and hit the high points (which means the points I remember - I'm not anal enough to take notes on what I need to respond to ... yet)

Linda - the donuts for ME would correspond with the TOM that suddenly hit you after not arriving since April. That along with being HUMAN - HELLO??? Hope you're feeling better about that little excursion and I hope you enjoyed every single one of them!! About that chicken salad - also happens to be one of my favorites and quite possibly why I have more than 100#s to lose, had to let you know I was cracking up at your description about it and the croissants. Just really gave me a good laugh which I really needed! And about those Sox... since the Astros just lost out... I'm gonna go ahead and join you and say "GOOOO SOXXX" I've always liked rooting for the underdog . Great idea on teaching the kids to cook. Especially your son. Your future daughter in law will love you forever. Especially once he gets past the sloppy joes and mac and cheese. Can he do laundry and put the toilet seat down? That'd be an extra plus!! You sound like a terrific mom!! And making quilts for the homeless... that just touches my heart and I wanted to share that with you.

Melanie - Thanks for your kind words about the break-up. Sometimes I feel like this is just taking me forever to get over. But your words about if I had a broken bone it would take a while to heal, etc... just helped me put it in perspective and give myself a little bit of a break. It's a vicious cycle I get myself into. I get upset about the break up, then I get upset that I'm upset and it goes from there... Right now you're in the middle of your retreat, so my 'advice' won't matter much but your plan sounds like what I would have suggested. Mostly portion control, using flex points and planning ahead with youir own dressing - or I'm one of those freaks that prefers lemon with salt and pepper on my salad - I would NOT have suggesting this being one of those times like T-day or Christmas or some other special event that is worth not counting points etc. because you are so determined and you are on a roll so to speak. I'm interested in hearing how your weekend went. I'm interested in hearing how the fellowship inspired you to stay on program and to see if it was really as hard as you thought it was going to be?

On The Biggest Loser - the weight loss challenge reality show. I'm a reality show junkie and I loved it. On having people weigh in in front of God and everyone.... yeah, that would have been tough for me. I guess I thought, they are grown and they could have walked away and said, no thanks. None of them did. They didn't know before hand they were going to have to do that. They also didn't know they were going to have the option of winning 250K if they were the last person standing. The challenge presents real life obstacles of poor food choices that we all face every day. They are divided into two teams. Each team is on a different food plan. Each team has a personal trainer with a different way of motivating the team - one is more gentle and encouraging, the other is more hard core. It was only the first show.. I didn't learn anything about weight loss and exercise on this show, but I did relate to the frustration of the first week of being on any program. The frustration, the feeling overwhelmed, the determination mixed with 'I may have to kill this trainer' feeling....

Dawny - Congrats on the LOSS!! And what was that guy thinking!!???? Can I say without being slammed that men are stupid??? They aren't really, but my god, what was he thinking?????????? hello??? idiot???? If I'd have been there, he'd have been running out with his tail tucked. Anyway, I'm sorry he hurt your feelings hunny!! What are your plans with AJ for Halloween?? I have my three nephews today and they are spending the night. We are going to get pumpkins for carving/painting and we are going to bake cookies, etc. I'm excited about having them. Too bad we don't live closer, we could have a play date!

Lyn - hope your weight loss is going as you expect... sounds like its coming off as expected and you'll be back in front of the crowd where you belong soon enough. I have been contemplating buying a scale for home but I know I'd just be on it all day, and that just can't be healthy! Thanks for your kind works and support.

Alright I'm gonna get up and get moving. I have 3 busy boys to get ready for - Ya'll have a great day!
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