Truthfully, I need some reassurance but will understand if I was being too sensitive.

So, I had about 3 points left over after dinner so I decided I wanted a peppermint patty (1 point) and 3 cinnamon discs (1 point) for a total of 2 points, my mother says you're eating that AND that? I said yes, I have 3 points left so that would leave me with 1. Why? Her: Oh.
I tried telling her that kind of comment made me feel uncomfortable as if I was wrong to have BOTH of them. She told me I was overreacting and to stop being sensitive. As I tried to explain how I felt in depth so she would understand, she basically told me to fking get over it... ugh....

ETA: Have any of you had this problem? If so, how did you deal with it?

I'm not sure... I think it depends.

Does mom "food cop" you a lot? If so, you probably feel annoyed by that. It would have been better to tell her "Stop playing food cop, Mom. I have 1 pt left, let me just do my program on my own without you commenting on my choices. I need to learn this on my own."

If she does not normally food cop you and this was just a random passing comment... she's right. Move on and get over it. Don't dwell and don't over explain your process.

We're all interested here on this board or we would not be here.

But non-dieting people can be bored to tears by the process and probably don't need to hear each detail of it.

Besides... I prefer to keep my cards close to my chest IRL... then I don't have sudden food cops hawking me.

GL!
A.

I do understand why it would bother you. My mom has made comments to me about my food intake...either I"m eating too much or too little. She doesn't get that I have a legitimate eating disorder (binge eating) so I need to be on a regimented plan in order to hold it together. Anyway, I don't think it's anybody's business what you eat or how much or in what combinations. You have my full support in that your mom was out of line. That said, I wouldn't make a big deal out if it.....except for her telling you to fking get over it? That's harsh in my opinion. That's too harsh. I'd let it go but in the future, without any emotion, I'd tell her that you don't need a food cop. I hope you feel better. soon. Good for you for sticking to your points AND treating yourself.

Yeah, I somehow missed that.

Why is your mom telling you things like "fcking get over it?" Wouldn't "move on" do and be more polite?

That would bug me more than the possibly food cop comment!

A.

Thanks, ladies- I will just say that then get over it, nothing more. Much appreciated!

About the cussing- My mom has always been like that since I was a little kid. It has been rubbing off on me since we started living together in June and I don't like it so I have been watching my words since then.

It helps us stay on plan to be able to save/use some of our allowance on treats. It keeps a plan livable. You did fine.

I faced this with dh. He now says he was joking about the 17 calories I had that night. But, oh it hurt when he said it. (Especially since he had multiple treats that night.) I now have at least some treat every evening as part of my budget. But I haven't given up!

I had a similar issue with my mom. She had lap band surgery, lost 100 pounds and got all preachy. I know she has my best interests at heart but it can get obnoxious. It sounds like you live with her.. which is rough. I think a more general convo needs to take place where you can use an umbrella "leave me alone" statement.

When you're not eating or in a food-driven situation, say "Mom? I am on Weight Watchers and I'm trying to make myself healthier and better. It can be overwhelming at times and it would be really helpful to have my mom supporting me. You can really help me by not talking about my food intake, diet, or exercise unless you ask me how it's going or I initiate a conversation about it. I'm sure you understand that this is a really sensitive issue and I'm trying to be as positive as I can about it so I can keep going. I know you want what's best for me and your support would really be helpful."

I mean, I don't know your mom, and that kind of tactic might not work on her. But I know with my mom, I tend to take it and take it until it pisses me off and then say "I'm going to say this once...." and she knows I'm serious because I don't dwell. It's all about how to get YOUR mom to get off your back because no one should deal with that! you're trying to do something to make yourself healthier and she needs to stop with the naysaying.

My mom is the same way and was VERY verbally as well as physically abusive to me as a child. She still says horrible things to me and has done the same thing as your mom. If I'm eating something she doesn't think I should be she makes a comment and I reply with - "Mom first of all who are you to comment on what I put in my body? You smoke, do drugs, lay in bed all day, eat garbage, and are clearly close to 300lbs. So who are you to tell me what I can or cannot eat? I've busted my butt to get where I am and the nice thing about Weight Watchers is if I CHOOSE to have a Dove Dark Chocolate Candy Bar than that's OK because A. I make sure I track what I've eaten and B. I'm a GROWN WOMAN NOT a CHILD!!!

I know, a bit mean but I've learned to defend myself because I've had so many family members and complete strangers ask me if I should be eating this or that. It's gets a bit old and frustrating after a while and I feel like completely going off and telling people to mind their own business! The best thing you can do is tell your mom that the great thing about Weight Watchers is the fact that if you want something sweet or salty you CAN HAVE IT which is why we are given the extra weekly points.

If it was a rare event and not repeated I wouldn't keep belaboring the point.

I know that for me it is sometimes not enough to just tell someone how I feel I get sucked into trying to convince them that I'm right and that they should agree with me. That is a losing battle.

With my own mom on some things that she just won't give up on (I'm 56 and she still goes on about some of the same things she went on about when I was 21....) I just refuse to discuss the issue with her since I've given my view before to no avail. "Mom, we've talked about this before and we don't agree so let's change subjects." I've even walked out of the room.

So, having told her your position, I would leave it alone and if she makes similar comments as before I would refuse to get into it with her. Tell her I'm on program and then just move on.

I don't think you are being over-sensitive because you can make your own decisions on your weight loss! However, I also can see that your mom is just trying to be supportive---and may find it strange that you are eating candy if you are on a diet---I would suggest you explain to her that WW is a life-style change in which you learn to incorporate 'treats' within a daily points target.

About a week ago, my husband was asking me why I was eating a brownie after I had reached 7 lb loss (over 4 weeks) and I explained to him that I am counting those in my weekly points and that if I don't eat a brownie (or cookie or whatever) now and then, I will not be able to sustain the program, because I will feel deprived and then binge and give up completely! I explained to him that a moderate diet includes all kinds of foods, including ones that people might label as 'bad' or 'not on a diet', but I am not on a diet, I am trying to lose weight on a plan that will work for the rest of my life!

Good luck!

I agree with others: If it was a one time thing, just a passing comment, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

But I *do* understand why it bothered you, either way. My mom used to say stuff like that to me all the time. Everytime we went out to eat with our big extended family, she'd always ask me what I ordered, but never what my sister ordered. Perhaps I'm over-sensitive, too, but that always bugged me. Like she was judging my food choices at the restaurant.

If she keeps doing it, just tell her you have the points and it's honestly not any of her business. We have to have those little indulgences to stay on track!

Appreciate all the replies. I do admit I am sensitive to what my mother says and always think she's judging me and my choices. I will have to change that thinking and realize that my choices are my own to make, no one else's. Like a water off of duck's back but easily said than done.

Thanks all!

Sometimes when someone says "you're over-sensitive" they actually mean "I don't want to be responsible for what comes out of my mouth."

JMHO

right on!!!

Amandie, hold your head up high and keep going like you are doing, because that is great that you are counting those little pieces of candy! Sometimes people let the nibbles fall through the cracks, and that's what messes it up for them. Before long, your mom is going to see that you are losing weight and not giving up, and her opinion will completely change!