KicknKnit: Sorry to hear about your Y experience. I belonged to a Y when I began and had a good experience.
You absolutely without a doubt need to learn to use the free weights. I'm not going to go into my long lecture about it but lets just say it's knowledge you can take with you anywhere in any gym. Machines vary from gym to gym. Own the knowledge to lift and you can own your own fitness.
Avoid the front desk.
Walk up to the fitness director/wellness director and tell him/her to schedule you in for freeweight training. If they hem and haw...tell them you are bringing in your own personal trainer as a guest on your next visit. Your experience in trying to get help is simply unacceptable.
I hate to approach people for help too so I understand this is tough but really, it's going to be worth insisting over.
Once you learn the very basics...and I'm telling you that's probably all your going to get....study study study online. There are a lot of really great sites available for learning this that give you verbal cues to think about once you are in the gym...Crossfit has some good videos, Mark Rippetoe is another good one. Look in the library for his book: Starting Strength...the information is out there and it will help you to brush up on this before you spend money on a trainer.
My approach was the learn as much as I could on my own. Then, I outlined what I wanted the trainer to critique and to help me perfect. That way, I wasn't just "hoping" that they might hit the movements that I thought were important for my success.
Boy. I feel for ya.