kinder, gentler ways?
 

ok. this has been on my mind for a long time... so it's time to share it.

in support group, we discuss a whole range of topics, but they all have one common theme:
and that takes a whole lot of different forms, from the food we eat to exercise, and then to developing new coping skills, new and improved relationship skills, recovering from poor food choices, enjoying our food, enjoying our treats, making sure that we forgive ourselves.

and so on.

we've spent so much emotional energy believing and reinforcing that we are bad people or failures for gaining so much weight that we don't really know what it's like to treat ourselves with even a small part of the kindness we give to others.

it's all part of the journey, healing ourselves inside and out. and i for one still have a LONG way to go...

what about you??? anyone recognize this???

Hi Jiffypop!

I used to be in therapy and this is one thing that my therapist and I discussed a lot. It's almost as if I hate who I am for letting myself get so overweight. And because I hate myself so much I keep eating and eating to punish myself even more. It's so hard to learn to like yourself and forgive yourself if you constantly think that you're the one that messed yourself up in the beginning. I think sometimes we really are our own worst enemies.

I too, feel like I have a long way to go. The important thing is that we are working towards bettering ourselves and being happier. We recognize the problem and are working towards a solution.

Also, I just want to say congrats on all of your weight loss so far. It's such an inspiration!

Take Care,
Becky

You betcha I can relate to this topic! When I was recovering from surgery I decided if I was willing to get cut open, go under anasthesia, and be poked and prodded in the name of weight loss, that I better put my all into the process afterward. I decided the biggest part of that was to take care of - I mean really and truly take care of - ME!

I have decided to take one entire year and be as selfish as I need to be to take good care of myself. April 6, 2004 to April 6, 2005 is the "Year of the Chickadee". It is my hope that after a year of consciously making sure my needs are met that it will be a habit and I will continue to take care of myself.

This includes, but is not limited to:
*Going to the gym and ENJOYING the process of getting fitter and stronger.
*Recognizing when I'm full and not eating that extra food (I actually spit out some chewed food the other night! Eeeeww!)
*Saying NO when I don't want to do something. Doesn't even have to be weight related, it's just part of doing what *I* want to do instead of what people think I should. I've always been such a pushover. The first time I said no to a friend who wanted me to do a favor that would have turned into a nightmare was incredibly empowering! I've noticed that many overweight people tend to be over-the-top nice and helpful, and frankly, I'm sick of it!
*Cutting myself some slack if I am not perfect in food choices or exercise. This one is the very hardest of all and I am having the most trouble with it. Oops, I'm not perfect at not always having to be perfect!

Good topic Ms. Jifferina.

Chick

the year of the chickadee!!!! has a LOVELY ring to it...

and chickadeedeedear.. that NO to things we don't want even when it's not weight related is actually a very very key point... we get emotional over that stuff. and then, well, face it.. we're all in the habit of STUFFING it down with food.. not possible now, is it???

soooo. my next step is better negotiating skills!!!!! or voice lessons

Yep....what she said!

It is all about me.

I thought my family would crumble under the pressure but since I am happier, they are happier 'cause I told them to be. :p

my pants have zippers,
the bow on my sneakers are tyed smack dab in the middle...not tilted to one side.

life is good.

Chickster....what if someone should ask you to write a limerick?

peach

All of us that have issues with food.........
 

Learning to love myself well tolerate myself even without food has been a struggle for me. When the food gets clean, I get scared. I really have to treat myself on the three legged stool of recovery from food addiction, to daily address my physical self, my spiritual self, and my psychological needs. I remind myself daily that this is real for me and God doesn't make junk :)

As far as treating myself with the same kindness I afford others, it actually was part of my guided meditation the other day. I thought about someone I really and then looked on them in isolated moments when they were behving badly or good. I never had to explain their behavior because they have highs and lows and I still love them. Turning that eye in on myself, explaining to the stranger why in my bad moments I am still worth all the love inthe world was hard.

Its a long journey, but it doesn't have to be so scary when we do it together.

:grouphug:
Chris