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Old 08-05-2014, 03:30 PM   #1
leftoverqueen's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 44

Default Question? (Unsupportive family)

Hi all!
I have my first information session tonight for WLS. I have given a lot of thought to which surgery may suit my needs and after a long deliberation I believe I would prefer the gastric bypass. My mom just recently had the sleeve done and says that she will not let me have surgery if it is the bypass, only the sleeve. My question is: does she really have a say? I am 20 but I am still on my parent's insurance. Of course I am open to any type of WLS and will consent to whatever the doctor thinks is best, but if the doc thinks RNY is best I don't know how to approach my mom with that. She really claims she will only let me do the sleeve (and no, she's not a doctor )
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Old 08-05-2014, 06:43 PM   #2
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Location: Yorktown, VA USA
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It doesn't matter that you are on your parent's insurance. You are 20 and can make your own decisions. They can't stop you.

HW 356 pounds - CW 135 - GW 137

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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Old 08-05-2014, 07:34 PM   #3
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Location: northern New Jersey
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Hey Queen! Welcome to adulthood! it's officially 18 in this country, and your mom can't force you into one treatment or another. And she DOES NOT sign off on any paperwork for you. In fact, you don't even have to discuss it with her [yeah, like that'll be easy ]

BUT she is saying this out of concern for you. And, as you've posted, you're only now going into your first information session. You still have to meet with the surgeon and the two of you will make the best decision FOR YOU [not for your mom!]. and you would be wise to discuss your concerns about your mom with your surgeon. He's not permitted to discuss your medical care with ANYONE unless you tell him he can.

keep us posted!!!
Start your day with a smile, and get it over with.
Keeping it off is a hundred decisions a day that help you maintain what you achieved. And that's the hard part. - L Sanders

start: 506 [Sept 2001]
weight at gastric bypass [Jan 29, 2002]: 409
current weight: 225
weight for plastic surgery: 200
final goal: 180

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Old 08-05-2014, 09:46 PM   #4
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Indiana
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They absolutely can NOT make that decision for you. I went into it thinking I wanted to get the sleeve, however the surgeon believes that RNY Bypass would be a better option for me. If your surgeon believes that would be best for you, I'd go with them! They are the professionals after all.

I hope that your information session goes well...and hopefully once you are armed with the facts, your mother will be more supportive.

Hugs to you, dear, and keep us updated!
Had RNY Gastric Bypass on 1/6/2015

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Old 08-07-2014, 09:28 AM   #5
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 44


Thanks everyone! The info session went well, they called me back yesterday to let me know I had been accepted and that my insurance fully covered it. I was SO shocked at how fast that was! I have my first 3 appointment all booked out to October, it's crazy! I'm required to do 6 months of pre-op dieting which includes 6 one-a-month meetings (my first one is next week). I'm shooting for a March surgery because spring break is the only week off I have until I graduate in May so fingers are crossed for now. My mom is still pushing for the sleeve but we will see.
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