Quote:
Originally Posted by christyk28
That is exactly why I was thinking of telling them early on It's as if you read my mind lol. And I have had that happen so far. I know that there are people who don't want to date big people and if I was to tell someone later and tell them how much weight I have lost that they would just think of me as a big person then. Does that make sense? lol But if they know from the beginning and they are good with it then I don't have to worry about anything down the line and end up having my heart broken because of it.
Yeah, I know what you mean about wanting to know early on whether the person you're dating is ok with it. And I
think I know what you mean about people seeing you as a big person if you told them later.
I don't know if people care about whether somebody
used to be fat .... as if it was some sort of stigma they wanted to avoid. Rather, I suspect that people are leery of dating people who used to be fat because they are afraid that because they were
once fat, they will become fat
again in the future. To make a crude analogy, it would be like a guy choosing not to date a girl, even though she is now thin, because the girl's mom is heavy, and the guy thinks that the girl will eventually be heavy like the mom.
The other thing is that I don't know if every person would be honest in these situations and actually tell you how they truly feel. Of course you'll know the true feelings of the people who bolt because they aren't ok with you having lost a lot of weight. That's easy. But the ones who are ok with it. How do we know that they are only ok with dating someone because they are thin
now, but would not be ok with someone who put back on weight? I mean, IMO, that is even worse than the people who would bolt right away! At least those people are honest about it. Its the people who would stay with you now, but bolt later if we put weight back on, that are the real potential for heart break.
While there was a lot of great things about dating, this is certainly one thing that sucked about it.