Weight Loss Surgery If you've had it, or are considering it, share your discussions here

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Old 08-21-2002, 12:20 PM   #1  
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Question To Tell or Not To Tell

I was very open with people about my WLS but sometimes I regret it because even though I eat well and exercise daily it seems that everyone thinks that I took the easy way out.

I am wondering what everyone else did about it. Did you tell people you were having the surgery or did you keep it private?

Thanks, Debbie
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Old 08-21-2002, 12:27 PM   #2  
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Debbie, during the year wait for approval and scheduling matters, Alvin did not tell anyone about it. But as the time for the surgery got closer, he told all the people that would be directly affected by his being "out of pocket" for a while. That included our family, our church, our employees and a few of the vendors that we do business with that he felt close to. I do not think anyone thought he was taking the "easy way out" although he did so well with the surgery he was hardly out at all.

Now that he has had this setback he has been out three weeks at this point and we don't know when he'll be back up to par, it is proof that the surgery is not an easy way out.
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Old 08-21-2002, 01:08 PM   #3  
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Barb, I agree that this is not the easy way out but some people I know think so. Anytime someone tells my mother-in-law that I really have lost weight she feels that she must tell them that I lost it because I had WLS. I guess the fact that I eat well and get up at 4:30 each morning to walk 5 miles means nothing to her...LOL. It's not that I really care and I'm not looking for credit for all that I do ... ok, I do want the credit. I want credit for every day I don't stuff my face with junk and I want credit for every day I get up and walk my butt off in the dark like a crazy woman. Yes, the surgery does make certain things easier but in the long run it is all about lifestyle change.

I just read your post about Alvin, I am glad that he is on the road to recovery (again). A friend of mine who had the surgery in May came home after surgery just to be re-admitted 3 days later where she spent the next 4 weeks in the hospital, three of those weeks on a ventilator. My best to you and Alvin, I know his setback must have been hard on you both but you will both come out stronger.

Hugs, Debbie
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Old 08-21-2002, 01:17 PM   #4  
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I hesitated telling people, even family. I was waiting for insurance approval. Once I got the approval I told those that I wanted to tell.

I had severe complications and spent 10 1/2 weeks in the hospital, 6 1/2 in ICU all but 11 days on a ventilator. The family members that I did not tell, mainly my Mom's side of the family, I'm not close to them and I didn't feel comfortable telling them, were angry at my Mom for not telling them. But you know what, they got over it.

As for friends, my close friends all knew and only one friend didn't want me to have the surgery. She is an RN, and just afraid of surgery of any kind that is not 100% needed. She supported me and my husband during my hospital stay and never once said, "I told you not to have this surgery." She is still a very good friend, maybe more so since the surgery

As for taking the easy way out, I do believe there are some who think that, but not a sole has said that to me. After what I went through, and what 'ole Alvin is going through, we all know this is not the easy way out.

We can talk until we're blue in the face but some people will just never get that it isn't the easy way out.


Last edited by debkay; 08-21-2002 at 01:19 PM.
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Old 08-21-2002, 09:06 PM   #5  
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Default i told EVERYONE

because they all saw me struggle with breathing, with walking, with being unable to go outdoors.

and i knew that i needed their support. most people had the attitude that it would have been great if i could have lost the weight the 'normal' way, but they also saw what i was eating and knew it wasn't my diet.

they all knew that it was this way or no way.

and those who had the more serious doubts had the COURTESY to do some research before they discussed it with me. they KNEW that i had done my homework on this, and that it had taken me two years to make the decision, and that i hadn't made it lightly.

except for that sister in law, who is convinced that my weight loss is not due to the surgery, but rather to being on the atkins diet!!!! she figures that since it's a high protein low carb lifestyle, it MUST be atkins.

there's no point in talking to her. about anything.
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Old 08-26-2002, 06:03 PM   #6  
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Hiya Debbie......

Look, this surgery is such a personal matter. I guess it's hard to know who to tell and who those people are that don't need to know, and we all make different choices on how to handle this.

Those of us who are affected by obesity and agree that WLS is a lifesaver know ALL TOO WELL that this surgery is NOT taking the easy way out. It helps us do what we cannot do ourselves (for whatever reason that might be), which is control how much food we are able to eat.

I am still pre-op and have told my closest friends and family that I plan on having WLS. Funny, most people do not support my decision.....which I know is because they're afraid something will happen to me. While I know I'm loved and appreciate their concern, I plan to go ahead with this surgery and not look back!!

You should be soooooo proud of yourself for being so dedicated and disciplined and working hard each day to be as healthy as you can be! Please, please don't let anyone's negative words bother you or get you down. You know why you had this surgery, and you did what you felt was in your best interest. You shouldn't have to justify your decision to anyone, so don't do this anymore. Be strong and confident. You're doing so well!!! God Bless....

Just me...Robin
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Old 09-14-2002, 10:50 PM   #7  
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Cool Easy way out

Hi Debbie

My name is Michelle and Im from Melbourne Australia.

I was banded on 6th March this year and have lost about 98 pounds so far

I didnt have a problem telling people what I had done at first, but as the weight started to come off and people started to notice and ask what I was doing I began telling more and more people.

I now dont tell anyone if they ask because I have had a few people put me down because they say oh its so easy for you because your had the surgery.....so I tell people its hard work and lots of exercise.

I believe people dont like the see others do well in life so they out them down


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Old 09-14-2002, 11:25 PM   #8  
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Default congrats michelle!!!

and LOVE the new haircut!!! you look fabulous.. and those people who think you took the easy way out? they are absolutely ignorant. some of us just don't have a lot of choices left.

and please give my best wishes to steve. the rny is a tough surgery from the beginning, and it's done on high risk patients. like me. but tell him to keep the faith.. i started a few pounds heavier than he did, but i'm ok. i've lost a total of 237 pounds [as of last week] in a year.

hope the both of you hang in there!!! and by the way, i reallly didn't like the article you linked to.. how DARE they trivialize steve's story by putting in that info about the so-called miracle drug...
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