Oh dear, whilst i love to trawl the net looking for success stories, occasionally i guess i am bound to find a hate blog about WLS - I shouldnt have continued reading it when i realised it was a hate blog, but i did...
This lady is posting about her fat friend who went and had a bypass, she quotes from her friends blog about her new eating diet - and then proposes to slate her to death about her choices. Other people have done the same and commented on the blog about how surgery is terrible and how we are crippling an otherwise healthy organ etc - hast taken me back a bit, but I think i felt more sorry for the one person who posted about her own experience and how she doesnt regret it and was then continuously slated for it - i just closed it eventually as it was starting to really get me down.
Oh well, just have to think of the positives, I guess i am not the only one to have come across these horrible blogs. Does anyone have links to some success stories?
I found a nice blog yesterday that made reference to a book called Weight Loss Surgery - The Real Skinny - i bought it on my Kindle and have started reading it... I have decided as well that I want to go ahead with the full bypass.
Let's be honest here. There are risks associated with the surgery - with ANY surgery of ANY kind. Although we have yet to lose a single member here, several have been extremely ill - and i'm talking several months in a coma. There have been a few posters who have lost very close relatives. And one member had to have her surgery reversed because of unfixable nutritional deficiencies.
this is serious business.
But the flip side is this:
for every death or reversal, there are thousands of people who have gotten their lives back
for every person who has regained everything and then some, there are hundreds who have kept most of the weight off
And that's why we urge you to ask lots of Qs, and then ask more. To talk to people who've had the surgery from YOUR surgeon at the facility YOU'RE going to use.
Ask the surgeon how many people he's lost and why they died. If the surgeon won't come clean about this, FIND ANOTHER SURGEON. Ask how many surgeries they've done. Complications rate. Reversals. people who have maintained for more than 5 years.
As with anything and everything we do - from this important decision to going out our front doors - there's a risk associated with it. You have to make sure that you do everything possible to reduce the risks. That means that if your doc tells you to lose 20 pounds before surgery, you lose 20 pounds. If the psychologist recommends therapy before surgery, you go through the therapy.
It may feel sometimes like they're throwing random roadblocks at you, but honestly, it's in your best interests to go into this in the best possible physical and mental health, and to understand what you're getting into. And to be ready to deal with whatever happens after the surgery, issues like head hunger, not being able to keep food down, snapping at people because you can't swallow your emotions, getting your blood work done, and all the rest of the list.
And i have to confess that I don't read other people's blogs/stories. I have quite enough to cope with living my life to deal with other people's issues. Some surgeons' sites include inspirational stories, but trust me, they're ALWAYS the happy-happy-happy ones. Never the people who have problems after the surgery.
to tell the truth, there are also some people who have the surgery who are just plain crazy. We had one woman in here - from Kentucky [that's pretty much all i remember about her] - who was getting additional surgery because she could only eat a single Wendy's meal for lunch, and because whole fries were coming back up.
now REALLY. Wendy's for lunch post op??? not likely. and not chewing food to mush???? and she thinks the problem is with the surgery?????? oh NOOOOOOOO
Oh wow. That's horrible. I hate how humans can be so cruel to each other instead of supporting one another. :-( I'm sorry it brought you down and hope you come to the right decision for YOU. Its your body and your choice and no one should have a say in it but you and your doctor.
I hope you find more positive blogs to lift you up!!
There is probably a blog devoted to the hate of kittens, puppies and rainbows, too.
It is tempting to read them, but if you start letting random internet strangers affect your life you will be in big trouble (unless they are cheering you on!)
I try to always give people the benefit of the doubt, so I'd like to think that these nay-sayers we encounter believe they have our best interests at heart. That being said though, these nay-sayers should realize that we HAVE tried other methods to lose weight, we ARE aware of the risks, and we KNOW this is not a quick or easy fix. We've given our decision a lot of thought and careful consideration.
This is a very personal and individual decision. We are permanently altering our bodies in order to help us regain our health. We welcome supporters but have no time for Debbie Downers and Negative Nellies. To paraphrase a Deepak Chopra quote, "What other people think of you is none of your business."
Thanks for the book recommendation. I just started another called, "It Ain't Over 'til the Thin Lady Sings", written by Michelle Ritchie who used to be a drug and alcohol addiction counselor and now is a bariatric support group leader and she's had bariatric surgery herself. It gives lots of good insight and information about the before, during and after.
As a side note, JiffyPop...I just LOVE your posts throughout the forum. You're so kind, so compassionate, with a great sense of humor.
People are cruel, people will always be cruel. Sometimes they do it and know what they say will offend, sometimes they are clueless that what they are saying could possible hurt someone, and sometimes they don't care either way.
No matter what the topic, there will be someone out their with an opinion that seems a bit much. Sometimes they may have an actual base that you can understand, though may not agree with, and sometimes they just seem like they hate the world and want bad things.
I just stick to myself around some of them. I've learned most people like to be ignorant and like to keep their opinion no matter how many facts I tell them. I never care if someone doesn't agree with me and they have facts for why, but I always got annoyed when someone would disagree with me and their base was simply NOT true. There was even a study done by people in Notre Dame that discovered that there are a lot of people out there, that will more fervently believe their belief when you present them with facts that show they are wrong. The more political or controversial the topic, the more likely the people would REFUSE to listen and would leave feeling more inclined to think what they thought going in. The opinions only really started changing when it hit close to home, when it could effect these people in some way.
This goes with weight loss surgery. A lot of people will never have to care about it, and so they heard some channel or person that claimed it was "a horrible surgery and was so people could be lazy" or something and they held that belief. Now, no matter how many people you can point to that have seriously benefited from these surgery's, the fact that some people are only alive today because of them, or the fact that the people who get them are 9 out of 10 times NOT just lazy, it doesn't matter. They think that way, and they don't think they have to change their minds, and the more you educate them, there is a good chance the more they will fervently they will enforce their beliefs and even come up with new reasons why they are correct, even if these reasons seem ludicrous to us (like pointing out one person that died, which while a risk, isn't the end all argument). The only way you could possible consider changing these people's views, is if it hits close to home for them. Say their son steadily gains weight and suddenly, it's his best option. You better believe they'll suddenly do the research and actually listen. They may change their mind, and they may also decide their opinion doesn't change and their son is just "lazy."
Also, this scenario isn't for everyone. There are plenty of people that do get facts and switch opinions with more information regardless of the controversy of the topic. Some people get facts and it seems to back their opinion as well. When it comes to economics and psychology, it's not just facts that help, there are so many theories and it depends greatly on a lot of things, that these are harder to prove or disprove, so I'm more talking scientific findings on health, etc. Or historical records.
I never mind when someone disagrees with me, and their evidence is sound and thoughtful, but I always get annoyed when someone disagrees with me and they don't even seem to know why, they're just passionate about it. I'm also more inclined to carry on a conversation with the person that can tell me why they think the way they do, where they get their information from, and these people generally seem more inclined to listen to why I think the way I do as well.
Really, it seems like weight loss in general is something people like to comment on. Don't do Atikins-- too much fat. Avoid Weight Watchers-- do you really want to pay for a fancy way to calorie count? Paleo-- please, that is hippy nonsense... etc. etc. There are always people who are going to criticize and find fault with someone's chosen path. Humans are so judgmental; adding the ability to stay hidden behind a computer screen and suddenly, everyone has the best ideas every conceived.
Judgment seems unavoidable. I think the best thing to do is have conviction in your own choices, research wisely and make the best choice for yourself.
I think that I was just taken back as to how cruel people can be - especially that this particular person had said she was talking about someone who was her best friend.. We all have opinions, I appreciate that - but there comes a time when you should respect other peoples choice regardless of your own belief!
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Not a WLS patient, but I have found that people who have never had a problem with their weight just don't understand what we go through, how we really feel. And to post it in a blog for everyone to see, and to be bashing someone who is supposed to be her friend is just wrong. I would never want someone like that for a friend.
Carol Sue - I totally agree with you. At work, my manager weighs...at most...115...has a great figure, is gorgeous. I told her that I am considering doing WLS, and while she didn't say anything negative, in fact her words were very supportive, her expression seemed to say wow, that's drastic, couldn't you just diet and exercise?. I got a similar non-verbal response from my company's HR person, who is probably 95 lbs.
It is very cruel of someone who is supposed to be this person's good friend to bash her publicly, when she could've voiced her concerns and discussed them with her privately.
I was one of those that thought I would never do WLS.....tried all kinds of crazy and well founded diets. I decided to do the lap band after thousands of dollars and useless books. I do not regret my decision; however, I had a very good friend whose wife had WLS so that she would live for her kids. I tried talking to her husband, my best friend and he said "I want to live life the way I am and I do not want something to control my life".....really is what I told him...you really believe you are in control? He passed away on May 31 this year. He left behind a beautiful wife, 3 kids and a ton of friends who loved him unconditionally. Do I believe I made the wrong personal decision?....absolutely not! I wish I would have been able to talk him into the surgery and I wish I would have done the surgery much earlier. Just my thoughts....
a sad story, Kim. Unfortunately, we can't talk anyone into anything. My brother is the same way - I don't understand it, but there it is. I'm surprised that he's still alive, however.
thank goodness the wife is still alive for the children. I can't imagine how awful she must feel.
I have just found a hate blog
