SHHHHHH it's a secret. - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

worthylady · 07-10-2009, 12:40 PM

Okay, so I had to deal with my feelings on telling people that I had WLS. I disclosed to people that I was close to, that I either was having or had surgery but not random people. I felt like if I just told folks I had surgery I would begin to feel stressed because people would place an expectation of weight loss on me. I felt that they would begin comparing me to their friend, co worker, mother who had surgery and lost "X" amount in "x" time. I didn't want that pressure. Well to date I have one more pound to lose and it will be 100 off for me....YEAH. Usually I accept the compliments and just say thank you but felt like it wasn't anybody's business how I have lost the weight. Later, people would say things like "I need to do what you are doing" or "I sure wish I could lose weight", that made me feel guilty. So I have began being a bit more open about it now. I just don't want to answer stupid questions about the surgery. I do feel better now that I just say "I had WLS".

GinaG · 07-10-2009, 05:28 PM

Congrats on your near 100 pds !!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I hear you about telling people about wls. My husband has told everyone he sees and it does put extra pressure to do really well you feel like your under a microscope and if you run into somebody that knows somebody who had wls they always say well my friend lost more than that in that time frame.
I try not to let it get to me, I will lose the way I lose and I can't compare myself to others. So I think your doing fine telling people you wnat to tell.

worthylady · 07-11-2009, 12:25 AM

I am glad to hear I am not alone. I really get annoyed when people tell me stories of someone dying or sick. I look at them and think "do you really think that is helping here???" Anyway, the loss is very noticeable now and I don't want to lie.

Leenie · 07-11-2009, 07:49 AM

First congrats on the 100 # whooohooooo

2nd, you are not alone, people do put pressure on you and they think because you had the surgery losing weight should be easy peasy. I have told no one and I'm glad b/c right now I am struggling with a few issues. I also agree with you that its nobody's business

jiffypop · 07-13-2009, 05:37 PM

congratulations!!!!!! you've done GREAT - and it 'ain't nobody's business if you do' or something like that.

SpookyXXL · 07-14-2009, 03:11 PM

That is funny all my friends and a lot of strangers have known I am going through this for a long time, I talk about things that stress me out.

Jiggly Wiggly · 07-14-2009, 06:54 PM

In my case, I didn't really want everyone to know, but remember for every one person you tell, it seems they tell at least 10. It went around work so quickly that I just give up and say "Yep, I did it!! And I feel GREAT!!!"

worthylady · 07-14-2009, 11:39 PM

Funny thing, today I hit my 100 pound mark

and someone said wow I can really tell you have lost weight. Then of course they said what have you been doing, I just replied and said "WLS" and kept going. It felt good just to say it and not dance around the truth. I am still selective of who I tell though.

GinaG · 07-15-2009, 01:54 PM

Yeah 100 pds off !!!!

Lori Bell · 07-15-2009, 02:12 PM

Congratulations on your 100 pounds lost. That is terrific!!. You know, I'm on the other side of the fence, and didn't have WLS, BUT the huge rumor going around my small community is that I did have "super-duper secret gastric by-pass"

LOL So after awhile wether you had it or not, people will say you did...because people are just weird that way.

Cannwarren · 07-21-2009, 02:27 AM

I just had surgery today and the only family members that knew were my husband, daughter and Mother. I told only a few select friends but also have decided for the same reasons to just keep it to myself. The added pressure can suck. WISE CHOICE!

ladybugnessa · 07-21-2009, 07:16 AM

Congrats on 100 pounds! Century Club!

I'm pre-op but dang I've already told EVERYONE. three years ago I lost 80 pounds on south beach (over a 2 year period) that was noticeable then... this will be so obvious I can't even imagine not telling.

jiffypop · 07-21-2009, 05:20 PM

SOOOO CANNN - you posted on the day of your surgery!!! how are you doing???

just a word of caution for those of you who are on the 'tell/don't tell' fence - in SOME Cases, when the weight comes POURING off, people will think you're sick - that you have cancer or some other dreaded disease, and they might start the rumor that you're dying.

you might have to GENTLY correct them if this happens.

Cannwarren · 07-21-2009, 06:04 PM

Hey JiffyPop,

I feel great. The only thing that is bugging me now is my throat is soar from the stupid tube down my throat. A little soreness today on the site areas but nothing I need pain meds for. I'm on the fence too with Tell/don't tell. I finally told my sister in law today. My fear, as I mentioned to her is that she'll tell her hubby who will tell my mother in law (they are very close) and then most of the family will know. I told her, I'm not ashamed of what I did, but I would like to make that surprising moment since they all live out of state and we don't see them all that often.

kittycat40 · 07-21-2009, 06:27 PM

Hope you have a swift recovery. be well