I am struggling today...I tear up as I try to find words...I have to make changes and I don't like change.

The sad mood started when I went through my closet and gave away a ton of my favorite clothes...I decided they were like old friends to me and I was going to mourn them...you would think they would be a sacrafic I would be willing to make...I get new smaller ones...I guess I am a strange woman.

But it brought up feelings about a bigger change. One that is very bitter...my gallery. I have to give up my gallery!
I have been trying to support it for 2 years with teaching classes in the studio and in the private school I have worked for 6+ years as well as painting sales but the rent went up again and I just can't afford to keep such a large warehouse space. I am not sure I will continue as a Studio Owner in a smaller space or if I will go back to being an artist and art teacher as I have been for many years before I opened the stuido/gallery. My future is a shadow to me... It's sad too because we've had birthdays and anniversary parties there...several Family Friday coffees in the sitting area while the kids made art in the studio...I had my daughter's reception there...

It's comes in stages...letting things go, reorganizing things...my gallery, my studio, my closet...taking out the things that weigh me down...money worries, pressure to keep my business afloat, the clothes taking up room in my closet that just don't fit me now...

My counselor said I could look at it as a time for down sizing...my life becoming more compact and efficiant just as I am physically...still, it's hard.


I hate change.



Angela

I'm sorry you are losing your gallery Remember, you haven't lost the passion and love for art that's in your heart (excuse the sappiness). Nothing will change that. I'm an art lover, and I can turn to it when I'm depressed or feeling low. I'm positive you've made someone happy when they looked at your art. Don't forget that. And with you teaching, you're educating and inspiring future artists, becoming an integral part of their dreams. That's a worthy and magical accomplishment in itself. It's what makes 3FC what it is -- people uplifting and inspiring each other. We might all be smaller, but our hearts stay the same size. Many of us understand your pain.

You can be proud of yourself for taking on such a wonderful challenge; and it succeeded for some time. You have many fond memories to take with you. You never know that there may be something better in store for you in the future; maybe a better place or a better purpose. We have all had to let go of something we loved; only to find another path that holds new opportunities and future successes.

Maybe you could have a party; yes, a celebration with all your friends and family at your gallery. Maybe one last FREE show and fun day for all for the neighbourhood. That would be a great way to segway into your new life. Maybe takes some pictures and put them in a scrapbook to reminise later on.

I went through my closet and gave away all my favorite clothes too. I gave some to a couple of friends (had them come over for a private fitting); and then gave the rest to goodwill. Now I am having fun buying new stuff as I lose weight; and I may be doing it again in the future.

Change doesn't have to be all bad. A friend of ours was forced to move their store to another location; and someone offered them a better place. It was smaller but nicer and in a better location and it was more affordable. I reminded them that sometimes the right thing happens for all the wrong reasons in this life.

ROSEBUD

*sigh* I hate change, too.

I guess the old has to die for the new to take its place....

Sorry for your loss -- sounds very painful -- but please know good, new things are coming you way, too.

Feel better soon.

As far as the gallery and studio go, I'm sorry to hear that hun!

As far as cleaning out your closet...My mother recently had weight loss surgery and when she lost enough weight to have to clean out her closet, she said she felt as if she was getting a divorce, she felt so sad.

Even though I havent lost enough weight to do the closet change, i already dread it. I LOVE my clothes. I even have clothes from junior high school. I believe that we get comfortable with our situation, thats why we hate change. Even if we arent comfortable with our weight, i think we subconciously are. Especially if we have been overweight for a long time.

I guess my point is that when we are comfortable, we arent as likely to grow or learn. In every aspect of life, i welcome change as the chance to learn and grow.

I'm sorry about your gallery! Dang! I don't know what the future holds for you, but treat everyday as an adventure. Something exciting and new to conquer and a new chapter in your life to write. I hate change also, but it seems that it has been a never-ending thing in my for quite a while now.

As for downsizing. I finally gave the last of my Lands End size 3 X fleece jackets away and I really mourned them more than anything, oh and my size 4X big red fleece robe. I've curled up in a chair, pulled up my legs, all warm and cosy and read like craz with that robe; also grandkids would come in the morning and curl up inside that thing and get warmed up. The fleece jackets were probably the most expensive of my stuff and the warmest!!! I've noticed that if I get too much clutter and too much "stuff" in my life, that I fret more and am anxious. Now wouldn't a counselor have a blast with that.

I'll be thinking about you my dear.

oh honey - this is a lot of change to handle! but i gotta tell you that something else will happen - it always does! leave yourself open to the possibilities - you have a wonderful life ahead of you, but, as with everyone else, getting on with it involves saying goodbye to old friends, old loves, old habits.

now, about the clothes. yes it's hard. in fact, it's so hard, that i still have a few pieces that swim on me! i find that when i'm having a tough time, i don't like to wear clothes that fit!!!! this is an issue. but it's not life threatening, nor is it making anyone sick [except perhaps for those who have to look at me!], and no one is endangered by it.

sooooo, while i work through this issue - one that is taking LOTS OF TIME - i see nothing wrong with keeping a COUPLE of 'old friends' around. notice i said A COUPLE - not a CLOSETFUL!!!!!!!

Oh, honey, I wish I could reach out and give you a big old hug. I am not a good one for change either. Change is never easy no matter how small or how big. Just take one day and a time and you have all of us here to listen to you when you need it.

Love Jen

Angela I'm sorry about your gallery! I truly believe a new and better door will be open.
As for the clothes I had DH go through the closet with me b/c clothes are memories for me. . .I also took some special pieces and I'm going to repurpose them into accessories. . . The dress I wore the day after my wedding
the only old thing thats too big that I'm not giving away is my wedding gown can't do it. I felt like a princess.

Change is good it's sloughing off the old skin to make room for the new!
we're here for you

we are here for you. everything happens for a reason and your life has purpose. let things happen to you and as hard as it is, go with the flow. time marches on, so dont be sad too long. enjoy what has been given to you new.