hi,
Please relate. I've seen so many doctors, counselors, psychologists about this over these past few years.
I'm 5 lbs away from my goal. But then again, I've lost a total of 88 lbs, if you count the fact that I've been dieting since I was 16. It was basically anorexia --> binge-eating episodes --> bulimia --> binge-eating...etc etc for 5 years! I'll be 21 on Tuesday.
I have self image problems, but I've learned to hide it. I can't stand looking at my body, still...and it seems I feel just as insecure regardless of my weight.
I've been binge-eating. I actually did hit my goal not too long ago but now I'm up again. My boyfriend's gone back to Germany in the beginning of November and suddenly I'm out of control again. I don't tell him these things, because my friends have told me how unttractive my insecurity looks. So I hide it.
My weight is always on my mind, I feel like it's increasing by the minute sometimes. Today was my grandpa's funeral, and I stood there worrying about the family dinner that we're going to have to eat after, even though I know I'll probably binge later.
I sat in class, writing an exam last Friday, and I started crying because I couldn't stop thinking about dieting and it was driving me insane. So I couldn't finish my test.
Just in case you're wondering...yes, I actually have depression...I've been on Wellbutrin for almost a year now and it's the only thing that works for me. I am more outgoing now, and much happier. Thing is...I still can't accept myself for the weight I am.
It scares me to think that I'll be seeing my uber-cute boyfriend in a few months, because I don't even know what weight I'll be.
I gain fast. I've gained 28 lbs in 3 months, last year.
Sorry this was so long...I just need someone to talk to.