3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community - lost weight = lost friends?

3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/)

- Weight Loss Support (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support-13/)

- - lost weight = lost friends? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/97799-lost-weight-%3D-lost-friends.html)

My ex-friend once told me that she's not friends with anyone who has smaller thighs than her.. I totally thought it was a joke. But now I gotta wonder...

OnePerDecade - I have to slightly disagree with your theory, I was raised by a very feminist mother who was out to make sure that I was raised not to think that I need a man, or a relationship. The competition thing was not in my household at all, but I still get those feelings..

I wonder if it's a reality check? A lot of the time we are so into surviving, living moment by moment we forget to think of the whole picture. I know when I see people able to focus on losing weight, having a great job, good relationships I definitely remember those are my goals and I'm not doing it. Easier to avoid that than to really go out there and DO those things!

-Aimee

Aimee - I can understand why you would disagree! I think you are a very fortunate woman to have a mother who was aware enough to raise you that way. I am trying very hard to raise my daughter that way too :) And I have an ex-friend who said the same exact thing about the thighs...how sad is that? She actually used her hand to measure my thigh vs her thigh when we were sitting on bar stools side by side and the fact that I was smaller (or so she said...I really didn't see a difference) ruined her night and pretty much our relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnePerDecade (Post 1477615)

Here's my theory on why women torpedo each other.

We are raised from early childhood with the concept that we are CHOSEN - men do the choosing. That makes all other women our competition. Even those who are married, lesbian, uninterested in men, whatever....every woman is a competitor. Since we are emotional fighters (as opposed to physical), we intuitively know how to hurt our competition the most -- attack their desirability. Sad, sad, sad...but true.

I think that the people who resent my weight loss do feel threatened by me. About 5 years ago, I went from 263 to 155 and got divorced. I went from being someone that people relied on at work to someone who was now a threat to the single women and a constant reminder to the overweight women that if I could do it, there was nothing stopping them from doing it too. I was asked if I was using coke by my manager, because the rumor mill was rampant (The rumor was started by a former friend of mine who was morbidly obese). I also heard that I was bulimic and that I had had bypass surgery. It makes me sad to think about how badly those women must have felt about themselves to go after me like that.

Now I'm back on track after pregnancy and other issues, down from 227 to 165 - and it's begun again. I don't even work at the same business any more and I am STILL being talked about! I figure it's out of my hands and as my mother taught me years ago, "Living well is the best revenge".

Isn't that so sad? I had a coworker a few years ago lose quite a bit of weight and our boss (who was just plain evil to begin with) made sure to tell everyone that the girl was bullemic, a drug addict, etc...

I'll tell you what, though. That spoke VOLUMES about my boss, not the girl who lost the weight. I think in the end it was about attention and it didn't matter if it was bad or good.

Also, good for you on your post-preggo progress! You look great in your pic!