ok i know that eating under 500 isn't healthy, but thats the only way i can lose weight. I ate pretty normal and that got me up to 180 and i can't get that high again, i wont. I don't think i have an eating disorder right now though, i could eat 800 calories, but i would feel sick and i wouldn't lose any weight. My kids see me eat all the time so i doubt it's affecting them in anyway. I do eat many times a day it's just really low calorie stuff. 2 years ago i was 110lbs and i want to be there again, i feel like i'm trapped in this body thats not mine and i don't want to be in it anymore.
Sweetie.. 110lbs would be UNDERWEIGHT for 5'7''. I'm 5'6'' and the lowest I could go (if I was small framed.. and I'm not) would be 118. Yes, that has to say something there. And the girl in your avatar with her ribs sticking out is NOT hott. I could gain (and have been lately) with eating anything around 1600 because I have restricted my calories WAY too much for months and my metabolism has slowed down and I need to build muscle to help fix that problem. When I was really restricting I could hardly eat much and I would feel super stuffed after little things like you. It's because you are sooooo used to it. Please go get help.. for you.. your husband.. and your kids.
Oh and being a member of "proanorexia" and "proanorexia2" on your livejournal.. isn't helping prove a point that you only need 500 calories. Mmhmm.
Last edited by pixiefalls; 10-13-2006 at 03:43 PM.
nice find, but i'm a member because i DID have an eating disorder, i don't think i have one now though. If i didn't eat at all i would say i have an ED. Back when i did have an ED i would go 3 weeks without eating, i don't do that now.
Your journal entries tell a different story - all you talk about is restricting, eating as little as you can, resisting the food your husband brings home... we're not trying to attack you here. I've been there before, and I understand the pull of it, but I also understand how much it messes you up. And I'm sorry, but kids aren't stupid, and when your daughter is 10 and realizes that all mommy does is nibble at carrot sticks and drink broth all day, I think she'll figure it out. And pro-ana sites aren't for people who are recovering. I'm sorry that you're where you are, but I still think you need help.
I also read your website page and believe you need to think again about not having an ED now. Sorry, but feel that it would be negligent of me not to mention it. Sorry to hear of all the terrible things that have happened in your life. Beautiful children that really need a healthy mom there. I am not at all trying to attack you.
Your journal entries tell a different story - all you talk about is restricting, eating as little as you can, resisting the food your husband brings home... we're not trying to attack you here. I've been there before, and I understand the pull of it, but I also understand how much it messes you up. And I'm sorry, but kids aren't stupid, and when your daughter is 10 and realizes that all mommy does is nibble at carrot sticks and drink broth all day, I think she'll figure it out. And pro-ana sites aren't for people who are recovering. I'm sorry that you're where you are, but I still think you need help.
If you husband or whoever brought you a whole bunch of fried shrimp, egg rolls, fried rice and stuff like that wouldn't you resisting eating that foods too? (i still ate the chniese food though, but i sure didn't eat all of it at once), what is so weird about that? I don't try to eat as little as i can, i just try staying in the amount i set for myself. There has been a couple times i did try to eat as little as i could, but i wanted to fast. That ended up only lasting one day and even then i had broth and stuff.
nice find, but i'm a member because i DID have an eating disorder, i don't think i have one now though. If i didn't eat at all i would say i have an ED. Back when i did have an ED i would go 3 weeks without eating, i don't do that now.
Then why don't you get rid of them? You can go back and resign from being a member. Oh and yes you can be anorexic with eating a little amount of food.. you don't just have to not eat anything. I'm also not trying to attack you and I'm not arguing for the sake of argument but I'm sure you want to be there for your family and they need a healthy mom and wife. Please try and take care of yourself the best you can.
Last edited by pixiefalls; 10-13-2006 at 03:40 PM.
I have been averaging 1350 a day over the last 2 weeks (just got back on track again) and have lost 2.5lbs each week. This seems to be working very well for me. I feel very satisfied, but not stuffed. I also do atleast 3 days cardio and 2 days strength a week. If I do a super hard workout and feel I need more food then I eat it and then just try and keep things on the lower side the next day.
OK, I'm 5'8" and I eat about 1500 calories a day and work out 3 days a week and I'm losing approximately 2-3 pounds a week.
500 calories a day? Give me a break. Anything under 1000 is bad, bad bad. If you are gaining weight on anything more than 800 calories it is either because
A. You screwed up your metabolism with your ED and now you are stuck with an extra slow metabolism
Or
B. You have a medical problem that needs to be addressed by a physician
Or
C. You have WAAAAAAAY miscalculated how much you eat in a day.
I don't mean to pick on you but you gotta face the facts, and you know them too well.
Amber, I hope you don't feel like this is some big tackle on top of you. Really, we are just worried for you.
You have been through things I can't even imagine and you are obviously a strong woman. You can rise above this thinking of ever increasing restriction. I know you gained weight from "normal" calories, but I believe only because your body was used to such tremendously low calories from your previous eating disorder. Being anorexic messes up metabolisms, not forever across the board, but it can linger. There is help you can get though so you can lose weight in a healthy way.
Eating the way you are now is harmful to you. It might not seem that way now because you are so used to it, but it is. Your body is tough and can keep you going under fire for a long time but eventually it will give out... and I think you have many beautiful things to live for. Don't let this crappy eating disorder suck you under.
p.s. You might want to check out the "Something Fishy" website. It's pro-recovery and full of people who have overcome this. I know how hard food/weight can be, but it doesn't have to be your life or consume it. Best wishes.
Hey Amber just seen this and wanted to stop by and give you a hug. I know this might sound silly to others here, but I read her journal too, quite a few days ago and really connected with her. I really like her. I added her to my journal. She is a great person and I know she is trying to be the best mom and wife she can be. It isn't easy to juggle everything when you have been thru what she has been thru and are dealing with present stuff now plus balancing two small kids. I know the drill. I have been there. I am just very glad I am in a place now with a new hubby where I can finally focus on me and my health.
Whitwhit I know what ya mean about medical advice. I am no doc but I have seen her journal entrys and I do know she is possibly damaging her body. That is why I have told her many times to go see a doc. I also understand the insurance stuff. Amber, try seeing if you can get on any form of state medical. Even with him working, if he doesn't make enough you might be eligible. It is worth a shot. Is there a local W.I.C. office? They provide nutritional advice for free and would help with healthy food for the kids.
Amber, I am very worried about you and I do care about you. You are worth seeking help for and so are your kids. Sometimes when the body gets used to low amounts of food it will make you sick to eat more. I know concentration camp victims had to be careful adding more food back in to their diet or they could get sick and die, many of them did. I still think you should figure a way to get to 1200 a day. Please get help! You know I am here for ya chickie!
Whitwhit:
Quote:
Jasmine,
I am curious about your walking. I have started walking because I hate exercise and it is the easiest thing for me to do. Plus, I find that it is stress reliever, I don't mind doing it, and I can honestly see myself doing it long term.
So my questions to you -
1 - Do you walk outside or on a treadmill?
2 - If on a treadmill, do you walk at an incline?
3 - How many miles do you typically walk in 60 minutes?
Okay well I do not use a treadmill. I walk around my neighborhood, or to the local liquor store etc. It is about 3 miles per hour. So every 60 minutes is 3 miles. I did take a while to build my walking back up:
April 2006 220 minutes total
May 2006 760 minutes total
June 2006 1060 minutes total
July 2006 1730 minutes total
August 2006 1185 minutes total
September 2006 1695 total!!!
That is great you have decided to start! I LOVE it. It also helps if you have problems with depression. I am trying to convince my mom in law to walk but she won't. Eventually I want to join a gym and start strength training too but for now this is all I do.
I would really love to get into counseling, i have never dealt with anything i have gone through and i really would like to do that.
Right now we make too much to get one any state medical or anything like that, but we make to little to afford over 200 a week. So we are pretty much stuck in the middle. I used to be on WIC back when my kids were babies, but we make to much for that too (they always told me i ate to little too lol) I think the income limit here where i live for any state assistance (medicaid/food stamps/WIC is like 1500 a month for a family of 4. That is impossible to live off. We probably make about (i'm not shy) $3000-$3500 a month. Our rent takes about 1/3rd of that and all the rest goes to bills. I can't see taking almost another 1/3rd of our income just for insurance when we would have to pay $4000 before they would even start covering anything. Ahhhh the heath system here in the US totally sucks.
But anyways truthfully i don't want to eat more, i don't want to get help for my eating, i want to lose more weight. I know i would get seriously depressed if i started gaining the weight back and i think that would be worse for my health. I have also been dianosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression and Bipolar so i have other stuff that i'm dealing with too. I know i'm all screwed up.
But anyways truthfully i don't want to eat more, i don't want to get help for my eating, i want to lose more weight. I know i would get seriously depressed if i started gaining the weight back and i think that would be worse for my health.
Death will be worse for your health. If you won't eat for you, eat for your kids. They should grow up with a mother, they should see you in the audience when they graduate from high school, they should get to have you hold their babies.
500 calories a day, not wanting to eat - this is as serious as it gets. You will kill yourself. Another candle for the memorial.
But anyways truthfully i don't want to eat more, i don't want to get help for my eating, i want to lose more weight. I know i would get seriously depressed if i started gaining the weight back and i think that would be worse for my health.
I hear ya about not wanting to gain. What I was thinking though is once your body gets used to eating a little more food again though you should start losing. Right now it might think it is in a famine and may be actually holding onto the extra weght. Either way, no matter what, you know I am here for ya! I have given my best advice. I don't know what to do about the doc thing. I was trapped in that scenario before with my ex. We made just enough to not qualify for anything. And it was too expensive to go to the doc.
I know this might sound silly to others here, but I read her journal too, quite a few days ago and really connected with her. I really like her. I added her to my journal. She is a great person and I know she is trying to be the best mom and wife she can be. It isn't easy to juggle everything when you have been thru what she has been thru and are dealing with present stuff now plus balancing two small kids. I know the drill. I have been there. I am just very glad I am in a place now with a new hubby where I can finally focus on me and my health. 
