Aww, sweetie - I'm so sorry that someone close to you is not being supportive (and that's putting it nicely). My mom, too, was/is a nag and sometimes I just have to go "la la la I'm not listening" in my head while her mouth moves.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.
Maybe what she should be saying (not that she should be saying anything) is the food you are eating doesn't seem all that healthy. What I would do is switch to eating more healthy foods when you are around her. Instead of cake, pizza, cereal - or whatever you are eating - try salads and whole grains and fruits/vegetables. I'm not sure what diet program you're following - but 800 or so calories a day of junk is still junk and doesn't a healthy eating program make.
HI Kelendra, First of all iam so sorry you have to live in your situation.
Sorry to say your mom doesnt have a clue!! We all have to figure out
what is eating us!! I had to figure out mine and found out it was my
childhood, and all the people that hurt me in my life. I had to forgive
but it is so hard to forget. You need to do what helps you. It is so hard
when you dont haVe the supp0rt and understanding at home. I know that
to well. I hope that your mom will see the light and what she is doing to you.
Sweetie just try to tune her out! I know it want be easy . But you have to do
what is better for you. I hope you get the help you need. We are always here
for you to vent. We all need to get our feelings out and to have someone as
a sounding board YOu take care of you.
Hugs LInda
Kelendra I hope you know that you are NOT FAT. I don't care what your mother hints or calls you, and it's obvious you don't have self confidence to back it up, but you are just barely overweight and that is nothing for her to have a right to criticize you for at all. Maybe try focusing on eating healthy: veggies, lots of protein, rather than focusing on "limiting." Also like was said before, don't discuss the topic with your Mom. Obviously at this stage in your life she doesn't get it, and no amount of explaining is going to help her realize how hurtful she is being. Best you can do is not talk about it with her and ignore her and avoid her when she talks about it, she will learn that if she wants to be a part of your life she'll have to find other topics to nag you about. Hang in there, we are all here for you.
I have a daughter who is 16 and the same height as you and weighs over 200lbs.
I know full well that she is overweight....but would NEVER EVER - even on my worst day tell her the things your mother is telling you. I do what I can - try to teach her by example of what I eat and what I cook - but would never judge her for how much she weighs.
You are FAR from being so overweight to the extreme your mother is saying - so please just know that this is her problem not yours. It does sound as if you may have some issues with food (the chewing and spitting out) - but considering the situation you are in - is it any wonder...... Just work on eating the right foods and the right portions...it is the only way to stay healthy!!
Aww thank you all SOOO much for the continuous support. I appreciate that a LOT!
I know I'm not heavy. But a healthy BMI for me can also be at 120 pounds, so I tell myself, why can't I be that instead of 140? Except I feel like I sabotaged all my chances with what I'm doing to myself.
I do eat healthy, very healthy in fact that it makes people at work give me questioning looks for some reason. I take multivitamines just in case and green tea extract. Calcium if I remember. These "bad" foods that I would rarely think of consuming are what I chew and spit. Chocolate, cake and so on.
Yeah and I'm getting along with my mom fine now, I mean she's my mother and I live in the same house with her and I can't ignore her forever. But like you all said, should she bring this subject up again I'll tell her I refuse to discuss it with her.
There's so many other sources of support than her, like here obviously.
I also wanted to point out that maybe you need to eat more, eating 800-1200 calories a day is not enough. For me at my weight, I average 1600 calories a week (some days I eat really high and others low) and I lose 1-2 pounds a week. If you are starving yourself, witch it sounds like you are, then try eating a bit more - if you are starving yourself your body will have a harder time letting go of the weight. I was eating hardly anything and wasn't losing, I almost doubled what I was eating the weight starting falling off.
that you are NOT FAT. I don't care what your mother hints or calls you, and it's obvious you don't have self confidence to back it up, but you are just barely overweight and that is nothing for her to have a right to criticize you for at all. Maybe try focusing on eating healthy: veggies, lots of protein, rather than focusing on "limiting." Also like was said before, don't discuss the topic with your Mom. Obviously at this stage in your life she doesn't get it, and no amount of explaining is going to help her realize how hurtful she is being. Best you can do is not talk about it with her and ignore her and avoid her when she talks about it, she will learn that if she wants to be a part of your life she'll have to find other topics to nag you about. Hang in there, we are all here for you.
