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Goal Question

#1

mrainy , 08-09-2006 02:16 AM

I started working on getting to a healthier weight in January, with a BMI of 39.4 That's the highest it's ever been for me, and I don't want to go back there! I had to do something, because my weight was begining to noticably affect my health and ability to do ejoyable things. My goal was to improve my long term health and feel comfortable in my own skin again, going slowly, building habits and routines that I could continue on with after my weight leveled off.

I get stressed out by very specific goals, and wasn't sure where my improved habits would bring me. I didn't want to set up an unsustainable effort, and then be disappointed by a major relapse. Looking at weights I've been able to maintain over years in the past, and the amount of effort it took me, and realizing that it'll be harder now in my 40's, I figured the least I could do was get my BMI below 30, down into the "overweight" range, from obese. I still don't figure that I'll be getting down all the way to the healthy weight range, as I've never quite gotten there as an adult, no matter how much I worked out or limited my calories.

My food choices have improved tremendously, I'm exercising regularly, and weight is coming off. I didn't set a time limit on it, but I sure wanted to get below 200lb. In the last couple weeks I've gotten there and I'm down to a BMI of 31.8. It's looking like I could get down to overweight (BMI 29.9) by the end of the year! I think I can get down 10-15 pounds below that eventually, but I'm not sure how much further down my improved habits will bring me.

I'm feeling pressured by my support group to set a goal weight, but I'm not sure what to pick, and how it will affect my efforts. I tend to get goal focused, and lose sight of the big picture. My goals all along have been to improve my health as much as I can, and the weight is only part of it. Should I set an extra low weight, just so they'll get off my back? Should I set it high, and then have to keep visiting my doctor for "permission slips" to keep edging it down? I don't know, and I wish that I could just keep working on it, and see how far I can get.

Any suggestions?

Rainy

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#2

Optical Goddess , 08-09-2006 02:31 AM

First of all, fantastic job on your current weight loss...not only that, but you're healthy about it.
I'm not sure what kind of support group you have, but if they will not accept that you don't want to set a weight goal ( as opposed to inches off, or if they won't let you go in ten lb increments), you could ask them for suggestions if it's just to shut them up. That way you would have fulfilled the "goal" your group wants, but you could just keep chuggin'.

Another idea is to speak with your doctor and ask them for a goal. If you have a regular doc, he/she could also write out a "permission slip" with something other than a number on it. I'm sure there are ways around it.

Depending what group you are part of, there are threads on here for TOPS and weight watchers. You could check those out. If your group that you are part of is nationally known, you could post a similar question just for the people in that group, and see how they handled it.

If this group is just that, a group of people, they can't force you to make a goal. It's not like they'll punish you. You could tell them your goal is to get healthy, which is always ongoing. Or your goal is to be able to walk three miles at a time, ect.

I could be reading way to much into it, but the members of your group and you should be absolutely impressed by your endeavors. You've really turned yourself around where so many people would have given up at even the thought.

You'll find that on these boards there are tons of differet types of goals and that they are even changing, depending on the person.
I also want to let you know that even though we're a bunch of weird names and avatars across the world, the weight loss support group here is sweet. It's amazing how much support you'll get...you'll fit right in.

I hope that my rambling helped, even a bit

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#3

aguafresca , 08-09-2006 04:16 AM

Congratulations on your BMI.

I believe you can manage to keep lowering it.

However, don't listen toooooooo much to others. Especially when you don't feel comfortable about it.

You look for support to help you reach the goal in the most comfortable way, I believe. Not to be burdened by it.

So, I suggest, just keep listening to yourself. It's your body, It's your decision.

WTG Rainy!

Love,

La Agua Fresca - Thinking to start losing weight again...
http://aguafresca.healthifica.com

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#4

aphil , 08-09-2006 07:20 AM

I wouldn't worry so much about the goal weight. If you WANT to shut them up, you could always choose a goal weight that you think is "higher" than what you actually want...to shut them up.

The thing with goal weights is...is that they are goals. If you have a lot to lose...and started out over 200 pounds, it is hard to "know" what you will look like at 170 pounds...150 pounds...130 pounds...you know what I mean? There are a lot of folks who have set a goal weight that is actually too low...they might set a goal of 125 pounds, but when they get down to about 140, realize that is going to be way too thin, and change their goal weight up to 135. It happens. Explain this to the group if you want to. You will know where you want to be when you are closer "to it".

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#5

phantastica , 08-09-2006 10:17 AM

I didn't set a goal weight until just about a month ago. I knew approximately what I wanted my goal weight to be - 170, about 15 pounds higher than my lowest weight - but it seemed so far off that it didn't matter at that point. As I approached what seemed to be my half-way point, I went to the doctor to confirm that what my goal weight should be. She agreed that 170 would be great and wrote up a "Goal Slip" (for TOPS, the support group I'm in). My point in having a doctor-supported goal weight was so that I knew when I would be at a healthy weight. My body image is so distorted that I'd probably not recognize when I'm at goal weight without it.

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#6

Glory87 , 08-09-2006 10:22 AM

My original goal weight was 150, when I hit 150 the weight was still coming off easily, so I kept going. I revised the goal weight to 135. Then the weight stuck at 140 for a long time. I changed the goal to maintaining at 140. I eventually lost more weight and now weigh around 130. Short answer - it's just a "goal," you can move it, change it, revise it...whatever!

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#7

kateful , 08-09-2006 12:01 PM

I say if it ain't broke don't fix it. What you are doing is working for you. Go with that.

Goals sort of mess with my mind. I get fanatical and a little frantic when the weight isn't coming off fast enough to meet some pulled out of my butt arbitrary date. Then I freak out and binge to prove to myself that I'm as big a failure as I thought I was. (Welcome to my messed up world. )

Anyway, you are doing a great job. I would think a "support group" would support you in the way that works for you.

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#8

penpal , 08-09-2006 01:46 PM

I've kind of reversed my way of thinking this time around. I decided how many calories I can eat and not get hungry (1650 - 1700) and still have a treat now and then (birthdays & holidays, etc.) I don't really know where I'll end up with this amount of calories. Maybe I'll get to 145 eventually, or maybe I'll settle at 170 (what I weighed before I had our son 22 years ago).

One thing I've found is that as I lose weight, I'm able to do more exercise and have been generally more active. I figure that's the only variable in the equation that I can adjust because I don't intend to starve myself to reach my goal. I feel so much better already, any additional weight loss is 'icing on the cake' (probably not the best metaphor to use around here ).

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#9

mrainy , 08-10-2006 09:51 AM

Thanks for all your kind and helpful words, they've helped me get a few things figured out. My group is a TOPS chapter, so they do eventually require your doctor's recommendation of a weight. Maybe it will help me not get stressed out about it, or overly focused on it, if I consider that number to be their goal, and not mine.

My goal is to improve my health. I want to be at a weight that I'll be able to maintain long term, without feeling like I'm starving, and without feeling like I'm doing nothing but exercise. To not be hungry did take a several months of gradually improving the types of foods I ate (more fruits/vegetables, very little pre-packaged stuff), increasing my calories a little (~1500, a little more on occasion), and spreading my eating throughout the day. I'm walking most days of the week, and enjoying it, and down more than 40 pounds, with lots more energy than I had even a few months ago.

For now, I think I'll go with the weight I was able to maintain for many years as the TOPS goal. I should eventually be able to get that far without changing what I'm doing. It's about 25 lbs lower than where I am now, and about 20 lbs above the healthy BMI range. Anything maintainable below that "goal weight" will just be a huge bonus to me.

Thanks again,

Rainy

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