I was looking in my hutch for something today and found my 'fat bowls', lol. I used to go out and buy big huge bowls specifically to hold my enormous portions. My personal bowls that no one else used but me. I mean BIG. These bowls could probably hold a half a box of cereal. And it's almost sad that I'd go scouting the store to specifically find a serving bowl big enough for my stupid appetite.

Now the only thing I use those bowls for are serving dishes at Thanksgiving or something, they're big enough to hold quite a few servings of mashed potatoes or stuffing or a vegetable dish. And these things used to be my 'normal' dishes for my own meals.

Did you ever go out of your way buying specific things to accomodate your portions and eating habits?

I don't remember a similar example although I do have "favourite" bowls - one in the shape of a face with devil horns!

I used to be very selfish over food - Oh that's MY ice cream, those are My cherries, MY cake etc etc.

A couple of weeks ago my DF said he hadn't eaten the cherries because they were "mine". I guess I must've done that quite a bit, since I couldn't care less whose food is whose, I'd rather they were eaten than I had to throw them out because I haven't eaten "my" cherries!

Yeah, I do that too, sometimes even now. But usually the foods I buy for myself end up mine anyway because no one else will eat them, lol. My hub and son won't go anywhere near all of my "weird" vegetables (zucchini, eggplant, acorn squash, etc.).

I used to be REALLY bad at BBQ's. I would literally start fuming inside when everyone else made it to the food tables before me. I'd watch them dumping food on their plates, wondering if there would be enough left for me, and feel upset and anxious that I might not get the foods I want. I'd think to myself (ironically), look at all those pigs up there grabbing all the food! Hurry up and move out of my way!

Now I casually hang back and talk to people letting the biggest part of the crowd go first. I wait until everyone else is done before getting mine. And guess what? There's always enough food left for me, lol. On occasion a couple of things will be gone, but that's okay, it doesn't bother me anymore. I get what's there.

So yep, I understand being selfish about food

I think I have a bit of a hoarding mentality. I used to think that I needed to eat "x" and as much of it as possible in case...I never finished the thought. In case what? In case I never had a chance to eat guacomole or a breakfast burrito or whatever ever again?

I'm not going to starve. I have a job and can provide well for my family and I have other people who would help us out if...if what? I wonder if I am afraid that someday I will be stricken by poverty. I know mentally how lucky I am to live in a country where I have access to healthy food. Most of the world is not that lucky. But, if you would have had a peek in my heart on those days that I was anxious or worried and had to eat it all NOW, you would think that famine was a possibility.

Edited to add: I am a packrat, too. I am tempted to keep everything...just in case! Why I cannot apply these feelings and principles to $$$$ I have no idea.

I didn't have big size dishes before I lost weight but now I do have 'small' size dishes to control portions.

I just bought new square dishes at Pier One and I couldn't believe how big a dinner plate was...so I bought the salad plates as the dinner plates.

I'm a eat everything on your plate kind of girl so I need the small plates to limit myself.

I used to be weird about sharing, if there were two pieces, I always wanted the biggest piece and would arrange to get it. I used to always order the biggest size of everything - venti lattes, big thing at Cold Stone, it's like only the largest serving would satisfy me. Always cleaned my plate, no matter how full I was. And of course, I was weird about sneaking food. If a coworker had candy in the office, I would sneak it after hours or make many little trips to take candy 2-3 pieces at a time. If there was a birthday cake at work left in the breakroom, I would always sneak bits of the frosting pieces that got stuck to bottom of the cake tray (loooved little bits of frosting but knew that I wasn't supposed to be CAUGHT eating it). Not to mention, buying boxes of cookies and eating them in private or any of the other weird things I used to do.

LOL! So did I!

I had thought about this before too. I had my own specific extra large plates. I didn't want anyone else to use them. I can recall always filling dinner plates for my kids (even though they were teens) just to make sure I could get all I wanted. I would always cook more than was needed, just to make sure I could have plenty. I was first in line for every buffett. It's really embarassing for me now, to realize some of these past behaviors. My cereal bowls held about a half a box too. Taking second and third helpings of food was nothing unusual. When I would eat whole boxes of ice cream, I'd tell my DH that the kids must have ate it.

I never had special plates or anything but I was good at always taking the biggest pieces or a few extra of this or that. Ordering the largest I could or the biggest meal. I have always had a problem with what I ate but my biggest problem was HOW MUCH I ATE! After dinner when I would clean up, pop a bit of this or that in my mouth. And I was always taught to clean my plate!

I guess a big change now is that I use bowls for all sorts of things I would never have before. If I wanted chips, I grabbed the BAG, or the BOX of crackers. Now I always portion everything out first. I remember the first few times I did it, how odd it felt to put a handful of crackerse in a bowl! Now it's normal!

I am the same way. If I go out to eat it is like why should I waste any of this I PAID for it...I should eat it. Especially with the free bread and such. I am also bad about eating bad food when my job is paying for it. I have the mentality that I should get a good meal...

YES! When I go out to eat, even now, I am full and I think "but I paid for this and it won't be any good tomorrow". If I order something like a salad and I get full, I try and make sure I eat the meat out of it and just leave the lettuce, or if I am really full I throw my napkin in it to stop me from eating it. I try and remind myself that my waist line is more important then a few dollars worth of food!

Wow, just about everything everyone has said is ME TOO. And like lilybelle said, it's really embarrassing to think about past behaviors. When I'd cook meals or go to dinners, I'd always try and serve myself before everyone else so I could get the biggest piece of meat or the biggest potato or whatever was there. If there was something in the fridge or freezer with only one serving left and my hub or son would say they wanted that again, I'd literally tell them it was gone so I could have the last serving. And hide it from their view.

God, that's horrible. Really horrible

I took food out of their mouths, so to speak, just so I could have it.

~sigh~

I'm so glad I escaped that mentality.

I think this is a great thread and maybe it will help us think about these behaviors and keep us from repeating them (hopefully). I am now to the point that my kids and DH fill their own plates. I don't care how much they take. If they eat it all, I'll make me a big salad with some meat and cheese in it and be just as happy and full.

It's funny to think about the things we did before...

I always wanted the biggest piece and then I'd wonder why I was fat and now I always look for the smallest in whatever it is I'm eating...even when I buy fruit I look for the smallest apples or bananas because I know that I'll eat the whole thing whether it's large or small.