Hi,

I'd like to start a thread, a list of things that as an overweight person you don't do/can't do anymore, but would like to do. Maybe you never have done them, but would like to. Or maybe you are now able to do because you lost the weight and have the strength or confidence to now do.

I'd like to save a list of things I'd like to do or try, a motivation for where I'd like to be. Maybe some of you have some ideas of things we all might like to do but didn't think of. The next part of the list is things that i hope to never have to deal with again.

Here I will start out...

Things I can't do anymore but once did:

1. Swim/put on bathing suit. I am way too large on bottom to consider shorts or a bathing suit. The humiliation I would feel would put me in a mental hospital. I DREAM of being able to swim.
2. Cross my legs. Legs just WILL NOT cross.
3. Walk without my legs flapping together in the middle
4. keep up with most 'normal' weight people when walking
5. Sit well in a theatre seat, airplane seat, plastic lawn chair, doctor office chair, etc. all made for the average person
6. Car seatbelt fitting without choking me
7. Walk outside with confidence and not feeling like someone's saying "who's that fat girl walking by, oh my!"


Things I have NEVER done but want to. Most I don't do because I am either too heavy/can't accomplish .

1. RUN. OH I want to run. My legs just don't have the strength yet. Priority on my list.
2. Wear several cute things like: ankle bracelet, cropped pants, cute shoes, ****, anything cute that doesn't look like 'old lady' clothes, plain and ugly just because it fits.
3. Feel comfortable.. or at least relatively comfortable, being naked
4. Visit my dad wearing a size 'normal' (whatever that might be) and be proud of how I look. (he's an anti-fat..calls everyone "huge, big as a house" even if they are only mildly over weight)

Hmm I'll have to work more on this list.. feel free to add to it

part 3.. things I do now since I've gained weight that have happened because I am heavy..

1. Debate whether I can sit in a chair first before I sit there, for fear I might break it, have it fall over, etc. (no thankfully it never has happened)

2. Be careful of activities I plan with a group that may reveal to others my shortcomings (like, if they plan an outing where we'd have to walk long distances or walk quickly, or fit into amusement park ride seats)

3. I have only shopped at the 'plus size' stores for about the last 10 years or more. Don't ever go to malls anymore because I can't shop at a regular store.
my clothing shopping is not an adventure, it's a chore.

3b. Having to lie when someone thin says 'oh, where did you get that cute sweater, I'll have to go look for it' because I'm too embarassed to tell the truth. I usually say Sears because I know they'll never find it.

4. Struggle with myself on how I let this happen to myself, how someone as intelligent as I am could be so 'dumb'.

5. Had to buy powder to put on the bits of skin that sit and gather moisture, so they don't get a rash.

6. (should be number 1) Stretch marks, a lot of them. Well, this one will be with me forever, but I strive to never get a new one.

Ok, I'm game...

Here is my list of things I want to do when I am thinner:

-bike ride!
-roller blade
-run run run!!
-and skip too
-have sex again!!
-wear cute little outfits
-go to a rock concert and dress up in leather and chains!! woohoo!!
-go to the movies, theme parks
-get married
-have children?
-wear a bathing suit in public
-LIVE, not just exist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm sure there are alot more things I haven't even thought of yet!!




I soooo miss getting checked out by guys. I don't even feel like a woman any
more. :-( But that'll change.

Hey those are some really good ones.

Some of those can go on my list too:
skip, roller blade, bike ride, LIVE, and find my authentic me.. I can't ever feel authentic as fat, it just doesn't feel right.
Dressing up crazy.. good one. any time I try to do anything like dress up for anything (dinner OR halloween) it just does not work, I look stupid.
That's a great one, I like it.

I would LOVE to be checked out.. even if I am married, it would still feel nice. Another good one. And it didn't occur to me. Thanks!

Things I can do now that I have accomplished my weight loss goals.
1. tie my own shoes
2. paint my toenails, (DH likes to do this for me still )
3. wear a swimsuit in public
4. blow up my own swim raft
5. play with grandkids rather than watch them play
6. walk outside without shortness of breath
7. go to my daughters school functions
8. ride on the back of a motorcycle with DH
9. go grocery shopping without assistance
10. park in the back of a parking lot instead of handicapped parking
11. play fetch with my dog
12. stand on my feet long enough to cook good meals for my family.
13. get through some days without having to take a nap
14. do laundry, dishes and general housekeeping without depending on DH and children
15. go to the mall and shop without looking for benches to sit on
16. basically, enjoy life

Okay...this is going to sound really dumb, but when I reach my ultimate goal weight, I want to...

GET A JOB!

Seriously, I think I'm "unfit" (har har) for a job. Any job. I mean I've seen people bigger than me hold jobs, no doubt. But there's just something inside me that's telling me that I'd be inadequate when I get a job, and I need to be lean to be a good worker.

And you know what's funny? I've been to interviews and got hired on the spot when I was like 40 lbs heavier!!

Thing I would do include:

1. Wear a bathing suit without being conscious of my body
2. BUy size 10's or 12's
3. Weigh myself infront of people (even my boyfriend)
4. Flash my mid drift once in a while, with short tops and hipster jeans.

Just things I have longed to do for ages. Hopefully the day is not to far away now.

Hmm I have such a huge list.. it's hard to narrow it down.
Things I've always wanted to do
1. Walk in a room and not instantly scope out the people who might tease me and stay far away from them. out of eyesight if possible. For once I just don't want to care about what people think of me.
2. Run. I have running dreams.. and not the horrible running.. I'm happy in my running dreams.
3. Have a pair of jeans that last forever...and not get the inside of the thigh worn out from constant rubbing together.
4. love myself ( this should be #1)
5. never having to stop in front of a mirror to see if I have to suck in my stomach in the shirt i'm wearing.
6. I want to buy the clothes when I see them,... not have to try them on to see if they fit. (why are all the cute clothes size 14 and under?!)
7. Wear "sexy" shoes. Knee high boots and strappy heels.
8. wear a belt
9 I wanna see my belly button.
10. Feel comfortable. no more shifting, no pulling and tugging at my clothes all the time.

Things I wish for ......

1. I wish I didn't feel the need to cover my naked body up in front of my husband because I'm so ashamed of it.

2. I wish I could paint my toe nails without struggling.

3. I wish I could bend down and pick something up from off the floor without struggling.

4. I wish I could kneel or sit on the floor without it hurting.

5. I wish I could get back up off the floor without a struggle.

6. I wish I could cross my legs.

7. I wish I didn't feel embarrassed/ashamed/self concious about my size when I go out with friends who are all 'normal'.

8. I wish to feel comfortable in my clothes.

9. I wish I didn't have back ache because of the extra weight I'm carrying around.

10. I wish I didn't sweat all the time because I'm overweight.

11. I wish I didn't fall asleep every afternoon because I feel exhausted.

12. I wish that I had more energy.

13. I wish I could take off my clothes without having bright red lines/creases all over my body where waistbands/bra straps etc have dug into my fat.

14. I wish I didn't have to hold my fat belly up when I shower, to wash underneath it!

15. I wish I could wax my bikini area and be able to actually see what I am doing!

16. I wish I enjoyed going out with my husband/friends like I used to when I was slim.

17. I wish I didn't end up in tears of frustration when I'm trying to find something in my wardrobe that actually fits to wear when I go out with my husband/friends.

18. I wish I didn't have to spend hours trying on clothes in a shop until I finally find something that fits me ... but still doesn't look good.

19. I wish I could lie by a swimming pool or on a beach without having to cover myself from head to toe in a sarong.

20. I hope that one day all my wishes will come true ........

Things I would like to be able to do are:

Wear cute clothes... when I see all the pretty spring/summer fashions, I just think "next year!" and keep chugging along at it!

Wear an actual swimsuit instead of the "tankini" I invented from a tank top and biker shorts.

Ride my bike (may try that VERY soon here!)

Get up off the floor without a struggle.

However, here are a list of things I CAN do which I could NOT do before I lost my 50 pounds... I try to focus more on THIS one and add to it! Lily, loved YOUR list woo hoo!

1. Cross my legs
2. Walk for long periods of time without stopping to rest
3. Clean house, etc., without resting and sitting every few minutes
4. Get up out of a chair without holding on to anything.
5. Pick up something off the floor or get into the bottom file drawer easily at work.
6. Not feel nearly as much pain esp. when walking, etc.
7. Wear a lot of the "too small" clothes in my closet; had to get rid of my "fattest" clothes.
8. Eat healthfully without blowing it or binges; established habit.
9. Go out in public without cringing in embarrassment at my size... well most of the time anyway; sometimes it still "hits" but nearly as bad as before.
10. Stuff my boobs all the way into a bra without hanging out all over the top and sides... LOL so ya it's still a BIG bra (DDD) but I can DO it! Also, having to sew up the sides of the bras because band size is just TOO big around for the cup size.
11. Finally being able to wear my crop pants I've been "checking" every week or so since spring!
12. Not sweating nearly as much or being so HOT all the time.
13. Knowing that I am on the right track and into a healthful lifestyle rather than the constant guilt feelings from being on the wrong track.

Can't wait to add to the list!!!!!

These are great lists!

Abbey, your third list of things that you have to think about now that you are heavy really hit home.

One thing I would add... I know that we can't all do everything on the list now (some because we just physically can't), but don't wait until you lose weight to try some of the things you want to do.

I remember a number of years ago when I weighed about 250 and was bemoaning the fact that I couldn't play tennis because of my weight. I finally decided that it was my embarrassment holding me back. I certainly could TRY (though I wasn't good) and I went ahead and took tennis lessons. You know what, I wasn't even the worst player there. The fattest maybe, but not the worst.

Sometimes our embarrassment holds us back. Maybe taking charge of some of the items will help spur the confidence we need to lose the weight!

1. Not feel like everyone is laughing at me.
2. Dress cute enough that my kids aren't embarrassed.
3. Have tons of energy.
4. Pierce my navel. I would love a belly button ring, but you've got to be
able to see my belly button first!

Good point! LOL I know when I am starting my slow jog that my boobs are undoubtedly doing a bit of jiggle/joggle. AND when I am climbing in and out of that pool... yikes! Takes courage to take off that big T-shirt or climb back out of the pool and get it ON as fast as I can! But I just remind myself that I am NOT going to be stopped by what anyone thinks but just get out there and do my best anyway.

AND a LOT of them aren't doing much of anything to get in shape. At least I am trying! I am amazed at the number of women larger than I who bring bottles of pop and big bags of chips... and sit in the chair at the pool reading or watching their kids swim. They would be far better off out there in the pool, fat or no fat!

To me, getting thin and in shape is WORTH the price I have to pay to do it, including the embarrassment.

Besides... it is STILL true... most of the time when we are worried about what people are thinking about us, they aren't thinking about us at ALL.. they are thinking about their OWN problems or insecurities, etc. We ALL have them and the world really does not revolve around "me."

1. I would like to be able to walk fast at work without worrying if I waddle.

2. Would like to wear shirts that fit better without worrying if it emphasizes by back fat.

3. Would like a pair of cute sandals, right now my feet are too wide (does this change as you lose?)

4. Want to get hit on when I go out, or even just at work (even though I'm married)

5. Want to fit into cool "teenage" jeans before I am way too old to pull them off.

6. Would like to wear a shirt that doesn't has to cover up my gut and butt.

7. would like to be able to cross my legs under a table.

8. Would like to wear shorts without worrying how fat my legs look when I sit down.

Thats all I can think of right now except that I will like to be considered "hot" or at least "cute"

Hi everyone,

Wow a lot of these items are really good too. Some should be on my list.

mostly I wanted to start this list so that we can try to focus on our goal and make a list of things that we'd like to do. hopefully nobody thought 'oh, poor me, I can't'.

I'd like to see a lot of changes to my list as time goes on. I would like to change the 'wishes' into I wills. They say that if you write your goals down rather than just thinking them, then you will see them and achieve them.

I haven't even thought of some of those things in a long long time. I gave up on myself at one point just thinking I'd never be thin again, so abandon the dream. But, here I am again! I changed my mind, and I am determined.

Some of you are inspiration to us and I thank you for that. I find my mood consistently more positive since I've joined this board.