Jill, I've said it before, but it bears repeating: you are SO GOOD at giving other people advice! I hope you can take a little time and repeat some of that excellent advice back to yourself, and find a way to start again.

You know that tomorrow is a new day. You know that you've done this before. Retrace your steps and find a way to redo the things that made you successful last time!

What advice would you give to someone else in your situation? I know it would be good advice... and maybe you can take that advice yourself!!

I really appreciate you too Jill. And I don't like you being upset ... at all! I did notice that you weren't on the boards lately.
Don't be a stranger here!
Go right now and make a huge bowl of cut up crunchy vegetables. Make a baggie for in the car and a nice plate for after work. Hurry home ... your prize for doing your days work tomorrow is to come talk to us and eat that lovely plate of veggies. We'll be waiting.

Heck make a protein-y breakfast and come here before work!

Want to do a planning for Thursday thread?

Ya know something funny? My mental picture of you is this dainty wee smiling gal with a blonde ponytail.

Let me pitch in to add I went through a similar thing recently. I'm probably up 5-7 lbs total, which isn't so much of a big deal for the weight itself but in comparison to my total weight, yeah it feels like starting over.

This kind of limbo went on for 2-3 weeks here and there over the last 2-3 months or so, with me never fully on or off plan. I'd start to post on here again and try to get back on track, but somehow it just didn't go and a day later I'd finish off a gallon of ice cream. Even not keeping it in my house made me just come up with 1,000 excuses to buy it at the supermarket. Anyways, a week ago last sunday, it just "clicked" for me. And here I am, counting calories again and enjoying the easy downhill slope of weight loss and exercise. It's not always there, but sometimes it seems so incredibly easy and other times it doesn't matter how disgusted I am or how much I plan or think about it it just isn't there and neither is my willpower. I hope you will get your "click" soon too, good luck!

I've read many many posts by you and, as wyllenn said, you give great advice. I don't post much but I'll try my hand at some advice based purely on my own experience with weight loss.

Regarding the closet bingeing, this is something I have become very familiar with over the past year. I was never a "binger" (not a word, I know) until I started trying to lose weight. I can eat very good for about a week before I just get soooo pissed off that I'm depriving myself of foods that I love that I binge on chinese food or zebra cakes or something. And I always feel awful afterwards, mentally as well as physically. It seems to be some sort of rebellious behavior for me.

I've only recently realized that this will probably always be my pattern. So, I figured I shouldn't deprive myself anymore or bad results ensue. I decided to find some food product (non-diet) that I could eat a serving of everyday to keep myself sane. However, it couldn't be super easy to just grab and shove in my mouth or I'd eat all of it. Ice cream works well for me, not bars because those are too easy but the gallons or half-gallons or whatever they are. I get my food scale out and measure out a serving everynight. Plus I can switch up on the flavors so I don't get bored with it.

I've been doing this for 3 1/2 weeks now and no binge in sight, I don't even really want to. I just work the ice cream into my calories for the day.

I know this wouldn't work for everyone because for some people binges are triggered by just one taste but since I just found something that works for me, as far as bingeing goes, I wanted to share.

I always had "bingy" tendencies - but restrictive dieting just made my binge issues explode. What worked for me was finding whole foods that I loved and really satisfied me. I kind of figured the binges were my body's desperate attempts to find some nutrient it craved. Now that I eat better, I get everything my body needs and it doesn't drive me to eat anymore. I haven't binged once since I changed my life in July 2004 - it's always kind of amazing to me.

Oh Jill. You know what? Maybe you just need to mentally "start over." Firstly, you are still maintaining at least a 15! lb weight loss and that is something and definately somewhere to start. There is no use in beating yourself up over gaining some weight back. It's done and over with, you can't change the past but you can change the future. You can lose those lbs again and more! You have proved that you can do it and you can do it again.
So, maybe just take a step back and say to yourself that this binging is going to end because you are only hurting yourself and undoing all sorts of hard work. Tell yourself that this is going to end, now.
I know what it is like to binge and gain back a bit of weight that totally sucks!! when you have to take the same weight off again! but it happens, so deal with the situation from this point.
You can do this, we all have faith in you.

Sounds like you're feeling a squidge better.... anyway to put your own advice to good use? What advice would you give someone else in this situation?

And don't feel dumb, silly! We're telling you you're smart! You just need to believe that!

We all say things and then don't always take our own advice. You have something so many people who come here don't YET have: knowledge. Know that you will learn to use it. I really believe your "click" will come!

Baby steps! Exactly! That sounds like an excellent idea! A good friend of mine walks up to the fifth floor of our admin building every time she has a meeting there. She says it's still a bit tough, and she's winded at the end, but her recovery time has really improved.

Maybe you could make some kind of challenge for yourself -- number of days you walk up the stairs linked to a reward or something? Some other way to keep yourself accountable?

GO JILL!!!!!!!!!

In my experience it was setbacks like this that helped me reflect and therefore correct my negative behavior. I used to sit in front of the doughnut shop and eat 4 doughnuts be for taking a dozen home and not have a clue as to why? Stand in front of the fridge in the middle of the night asking my self "Why did I just eat that? I still don't know. My life was fine, I thought I was fine emotionally?? Not unhappy...I geuss I was looking for satisfation from any source that was easier than what I had to commit to doing. It doesn't happen anymore (hasn't in years) But there is still potential, the key for me is to render it absolutely not an option. What are Swiss rolls?

Stevi -- OMG, that was exactly the experiences I had with binging! I would binge but have no idea why! I still don't know. For whatever reason, I've managed to not do it in ages (since I started this new lifestyle), but I still don't understand. Maybe you're right and it had something to do with not being able to commit to what I had to do!

I had a moment today when I really really wanted to binge. This time I knew exactly why (emotionally eating to fill a void), and I have certainly had those desires too. But the unknown binges... I think you may have a handle on this problem of mine!

My only reasonable solution to something I still don't understand is to make it off limits. I saw your "resisting a binge" thread and All I have to say is (no pressure intended) You have a responsibility to all of us that look up to you.....You are an OAK!