I'm embarassed to workout. So I do it in the morning while everyone in my house is asleep for a hour. I don't want them to know that I'm fretting over my weight. Or worse, Trying to change it. And I don't want them to know that so if I do fail, then they won't think its a phase. I'm afraid that if I go about telling everyone that I'm upset over these things and working to change them that they'll judge me. This is my saftey net to get back to the way things are before I decided to change. If no one knows, they can't know when I slip up. They can't catch me in the fridge with a spoon full of ice cream and the 'oh noez ToT' face. Because if they do, they don't care.
So I'm letting everyone know now. Everyone in my house who would care knows. I still don't like to workout right infront of them, but I won't let anything get in the way of my workout now. And everyone here too.
So, yeah.. Everyone... I'M TRYING TO CHANGE THINGS!!!
For me! Not for anyone else... So it will work. It's willing, not forced.
Now, without my saftey net, I can just dust myself off if I manage to fall off the wagon. I can say "well, everyone around me knows that I'm trying to do this, and they witnessed me fail a bit. But thats OKAY. Nothing to be ashamed of. We all get scaped knees sometimes. I'll kiss them better and hop back on to improving myself."
I'm trying to be more accepting of myself in general. If I mess up, it's not the end of the world.
Now that everyone knows, I have to succeed, even if I might suffer from a drawback every once in a while. You guys make me strong!!