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you've gotten a few good comebacks that might just get your family thinking.
I wanted to tell you the very true story of my brother. He's struggled with his weight since he was a teenager. In highschool he lost a bunch of weight. skip time. Now he's in his thirties, he's doing well careerwise, married to his second wife. He's gained back a bunch of the weight he'd lost. She's never had a weight problem. She can't understand why he can't just stop eating and lose weight. They get into the cycle where she nags him all the time to stop eating and exercise. He starts binge eating whenever he's away from her, and the binge eating gets worse because he feels guilty. He spends lots of money on weight programs (that work temporarily). Then finally gets the surgery (she actually left town while he was recuperating from that). Some years after the surgery, he's gained back a percentage of that weight he lost, he has really bad knees, a bad back (from a ruptured disk when he fell off a ladder), and I'm sure is suffering from years of gaining and losing large amounts of weight. That nagging kept him in a state of desperation over these decades (when he might have been working on other solutions that would have actually helped him lose weight), he's still heavy, and it hasn't done much for their marriage. (Tell them THAT story!) How have you handled rude comments about weight? And how do you not let all the negative stuff depress you more and keep you stuck in the same ole cycle? You'll see that Eleanor Roosevelt quote around here, in a signature: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I know it doesn't always feel that easy, but keep it in mind. |
Sarcasm works great & I'm all for a zippy comeback, but for me what has worked best is simply learning to turn down the volume on nasty, unsupportive, sabotaging people. Even if they're family. Ignore them all & listen to yourself. Follow your own drummer. You aren't responsible for other people's thoughts & opinions- let them cope with their own shite (if you know what I mean!).
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Well I for sure would not have a problem if my mom just told me she was worried and that she just wanted to see me lose some weight. I think its fine to tell your child and maybe be positive about helping her lose weight. But saying hey you are so fat...or stop eating fast food all the time is rude. Or telling me I need to get WLS. My family has always just been critical and rude about it. My grandmother is VERY rude about...she asked me if I could still fit into the shower. That really hurt my feelings. So I think if you go to your kid suggest and really try to help the kid and be positive it will help. Like if my mom would say hey lets go for a walk...but instead she always says hey why are you so fat? And I know it comes down to me and I can't let it get to me. But sometimes especially when its your family its hard not to let it make you feel like crap.
Thank you all for sharing and making suggestions. You girls are great! :) Michelle |
I have a sister that has been notorious for making rude comments about my weight. It always hurt my feelings and I didn't stand up to her. I wish I had used some of these sarcastic comments with her. She was always bad to bring up my weight issues during large family gatherings so it was too embarassing for me to retort. Now, she tells me "you went over-board and lost too much weight". I would like to hear her say this at the next family gathering.
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