*sigh* yes, I know all of the above advice is true. And I do know that I am making excuses. There is NO excuse for me to not to exercise..I'm just lazy. 1200 calories a day may seem like too few for me, but I really wasn't starving myself. At the end of the day I had to add extras to my dinner to even meet the 1200 calories....That usually included cheeses, which, as I know but continue to ignore, I am lactose intolorant, and cheese does not do well with me. But I love it, and I continued to add it.. I might as well had ben taking a laxative.....I was never starving while on 1200 calories a day, I actually felt more full then than I ever have before. When I eat now, I eat fillers. Nothing that is going to keep me full, but something full of fat and calories that is going to be "yummy". And I know that needs to change. Ya'll are right, 1200 calories isn't enough for me, but if I'm not starving then why not?..I know why, but yet, I don't...Does that make sence? I think I balanced it out a while ago, when I first started calories, and it said that 1600-1800 calories is what I should be taking in, and I just can't see that. Thats A LOT of calories. I know a normal "diet" is 2000 calories, but unless they're "worthless" calories, I just can't see eating that many! Thats a lot! So I settled for 1200-1400 a day....I had completely given up soda, and candy. And I didn't even miss it!!! I was drinking more and more water as the days went on, but, I fell off, and the soda came right back. Not diet soda, it was never diet soda, cant stand the stuff, so I just gave it up all together, but when it came back, it was regular soda once again. I still am not eating candy the way I used to. Maybe a candy bar once a week, or once every 2 weeks. I used to eat it every day. So, that in itself, is a good thing. But my mind is trained "thats not enough" and I don't know why. I don't know where that came from. Yes, its true. I havn't had my revalation yet, and I do know that is why I havn't been able to stick to this, and why I really havn't said "okay i WANT to be healthier"...But it's frustrating, sitting around, waiting for it to happen, so I try to help it along, but in the end, wind up falling off, and failing, which as has been mentioned, I am afraid of more than anything. I'm afraid of failing, and I'm afraid of what others will think and say. I won't run outside down my road, because I'm afraid of people passing me and saying "look at that fat girl trying to run"...I'm afraid of walking down the road and getting made fun of. Yes I know, I shouldn't be, but I am. I'm very self conscious about what others think, and I hate it when I get made fun of and looked down on....Okay. I'm done. I think. Yes I know excuses. There is no excuse, and I do try. I do park further away from the store. And I do "Exercise" when I work on Fridays. But thats only once a week and thats work, nothing I can control.. I need to do more. I know.

I did want to address the issue of why 1200 calories is not enough for you, and maybe understanding it will make a difference in how you have programmed your thinking. :)

You currently weigh 260 pounds, and you have a goal weight of 130 pounds. That is losing half of your body weight. What I want you to think of right now, is that every time you walk around the block, go to the bathroom, walk up the stairs, and so forth-you are essentially a 130 pound woman who is carrying another 130 pound woman on her shoulders. It would be like seeing your thin co-worker working all day long while giving another adult woman a "piggy back" ride. I know this is a really silly example-but I want you to think about how hard it would be for your coworker to do all of her every day things with someone of the same size riding on her back.

Essentially, this is what you are doing at 260 pounds-at least in the form of how much harder your body has to work (although evenly spread out through your entire body...)

It takes much more effort to move your 260 pounds around, then it does someone who weighs 200...or 175...or 150...0r 130. So, because of that-your body USES more calories to do the same activity. If you go on a walk with a friend who weighs 160 pounds and you walk a mile together-you have used more calories than she, because you are carrying around an extra 100 pounds of resistance. Make sense?

As your body gets smaller and weighs less...then you will periodically need to drop your calorie level down to further your results. For most women, 1200 calories a day is the lowest that you should be taking in per day on a regular basis. So...if you start out at 260 pounds eating 1200 calories a day, and 20 or 30 pounds down the road when you hit a "plateau" in your weight loss because your body has adjusted to that calorie level-then you have nowhere to "drop" it to. 1200 calories may not actually feel like starving to you right now...but when you lose 20 or 30 pounds and hit a plateau, then you are going to HAVE to starve yourself-or dramatically increase your exercise-to break that plateau.

So-starting out at around 1800 calories per day, eating more than you think you should be on a weight loss plan-is actually the best thing that you can do right now. ENJOY IT! :lol: When you get to where your loss is less than 1 pound per week, then you can safely drop it by 100 calories per day or so...and then again, and again, and again...you should not be at around the 1200 a day level until you are well below the 200 pound mark...I never had to hit that level until I was around 160 pounds...

There is the old saying that goes something like:

"If you do what you have always done, then you will get what you've always gotten."

This rings completely true here. You have started out at 1200 calories a day on numerous occasions, fell off the wagon later on...and it hasn't been working for you.

Maybe it is time to try a new way??? ;)

I know it is going to take some mental adjustments in your programmed thinking...but trust me, it is for the best. We have all been in your shoes once before. :)

Ya know. I never really thought of it that way. I guess...I duno what I thought. I wasn't hungry, so I didn't see a problem with the 1200 calories a day, but I never thought about the fact that eventually I'm going to have to cut down calories even more to keep losing. That does make complete sence. Thanks :) It's just crazy to think that I can eat 1800 calories a day and be healthier! Or that I can eat way more than I already eat now and still lose weight. I currently eat maybe once or twice a day, but the old theory rings true "if you allow yourself to get hungry, youre going to eat more and less healthy because your body is starving"....And thats how it is. If I let myself get hungry, I then stuff myself, and I eat unhealthy food because I just grab whatever is closest. But if I can eat 3 times a day, good food, then I'm going to not get hungry, and I'm not going to eat unhealthy foods....Or thats the plan anyways.... Hm, I don't remember what I was going to say, but yeah. Thats what I was all I wanted t osay I guess. lol. Thanks again for clearing everything up. Thats a really good way to think of it. Thanks so much.

Fear is a powerful emotion. The other powerful emotion is love. Every other emotion available to a human being is a sub-emotion of one of those two.

Do you LOVE yourself?

What do you FEAR about losing weight & being healthy & looking great?

Answer that question & you're half-way there.


As for me, it doesn't matter what I eat or don't eat - if I can't/don't exercise, I'm not going to lose weight. And I am one of those people who just cannot give up my favorite foods. So I know I am going to eat, and eat well, and probably eat a lot, LOL! I've tried a kajillion diets. Some of them really work! ...for a LITTLE WHILE... :( then it's return to normal habits & gain the weight back & try, try again. Soon I realized that I cannot give up my favorite foods BECAUSE I LIKE THEM! I DON'T WANT TO GIVE THEM UP! So I learned ALL THINGS IN MODERATION. Portion control. And exercise, exercise, exercise. Just 45 minutes to 1 hour a day is all it takes. That really is not much time at all. You can break it up into 30 minutes in the a.m. and 30 in the p.m. if you'd like. And I know you said you HATE exercise and you HATE being outdoors... what's to hate? Bicycling on the beach is an absolute JOY for me, and I'm loving it so much, it doesn't FEEL like exercise... oh, but it is! You just need to find what works FOR YOU. What foods trigger binges, what exercise feels more like fun than work, and YES YOU CAN DO THIS.

That's why we're here! - this forum can be a source of serious support & love for you. Use it. Use US. And we'll use you from time to time, too. :hug:

I don't have a beach here. The closest thing I have to bike on, is the highway..And I don't really know whats to hate. I just....i don't know :) You're right. Theres nothing to fear about losing weight and looking good....I don't really know what my problem is. I thikn thats my problem. lol. I don't know why its so hard for me to do this...

Hi, I am fairly new here but definately not to the challenges we all face. I have enjoyed reading this thread. So much great advice that I couldn't really add to.

A couple of things did strike me though about your initial and follow up posts. The power of the mind can be a major obstacle or the greatest motivator. I have to speak from experience when I tell you that your mind may never let you "see" your 260 pounds. Unfortunately it can go both ways.

I too would look at pictures or other people and my mind would say "At least i'm not THAT bad!" Then I had to say "hello??? Earth to Karen, you ARE there!" I don't think I ever "saw" it. I went up and down the roller coaster like so many. The last attempt I ended up losing 120 pounds in a very healthy manner. Unfortunately, my mind never let me "see" that either. As far as I was concerned I was still that fat, lazy slob I had been in the beginning.

I kept asking myself, "Where are the good feelings? Where is the confidence? Where is my different life that everybody promised me if I went through this ****?" It never materialized. Is it any wonder that it all came back and then some?

That was my mind, my emotional response or lack there of that was ruling my life. I didn't get it until years later. I had other things to work on besides my food and exercise.

The other comment that struck me was that you felt a certain amount of food wasn't "enough" and you didn't know why. Here's just a thought, also something I had to deal with. I had some issues as a very young child (which I don't even remember, I was told by my older sister) where I really didn't get enough. It has been brought to my attention that perhaps my mind is still in fear and not trusting that that won't happen. I don't have to worry that this will be my last meal or that I can never have this thing or that again. Of course it was never a conscience thought, just something below the surface as they say.

That is where I am today. It's been about 6 weeks for me this time and I know that losing the weight is not a magical cure all for everything in my life. I am excited about the prospects again and eating very cleanly.

The first 2 weeks all I did was drink more water and give up the soda, that's it. The 3rd week I gave up salt and tapered off of coffee. The 4th week I gave up flour and switched to whole grains. The 5th week I gave up sugar. This week i've been tweaking things to include "healthy fats". I now include ground flax seed and flax oil for the added nutrients. I eat lots of fresh veggies and fruit, sprouted whole grain bread, lean meats and fish.
I have never been hungry and am in fact finding it hard to keep my calories up since I have cut quite a bit, but am still full.

My suggestion to keep up the calories is eat some higher calorie, dense-in-nutrition foods that don't fill so much. Nuts/seeds and their butters (without sugar or salt) come to mind. A little goes a long way in calorie counts.

I really appreciate you having the courage to come to these boards and put your feelings out there. I don't think I could have done that at your age :carrot: :carrot:

Thanks again ladies for being here! :D

Wow This is just what I needed right now. I have been struggling, struggling, struggling. I even came to the point where I am now where I am taking time off here from posting, just doing the reading part that everybody here has mentioned. Well I had to speak up to this one because it really "spoke" to me.

Especially aphil's post about a thin person carrying around the same weight as them on their back. I invisioned the little tiny thin women at work having someone of their same exact weight sitting on their shoulders while they are trying to go through their day. Its like a ton of bricks hit me. WOW no wonder I am TIRED all the time! No wonder it takes me Twice as much energy to do same thing as them!

Then reading Karen's post made a lot of sense too. So here is what I've done so far: given up regular soda except on occasion when we are out, I drink mostly water, but we went to this Natural Grocery Store and I bought some 100% natural Old Fashioned Lemonade. I also got rid of the junk, well I am trying. But my husband keeps bringing it in! BUT that doesn't mean I have to eat it! ;) I think he is also coming to the realization about his weight too. He is having problems with his blood pressure and hasn't been feeling too good. We are seeing the dr tomorrow so hopefully he can help him with that. That is another thing I'm doing this under the care of my dr. :)

So going to the grocery I didn't buy ANY junk! NONE! I figured if its not here, then I can't eat it! I've been doing what Denise Austin suggested and holding in my tummy for 5 sec and my bum too while at my desk, driving, etc. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but she said that its equalivalient (Sp??) to doing a sit-up and a squat. So I was like hey if I can do sit-ups and squats while working at my desk, driving, etc. WHY NOT!? lol. We also try walking more, but haven't here lately with the extreme heat.

I guess that is it. I just wanted to say that this has really moved me and most likely I will read through it all again and again. Okay back to reading. ;)

:thanks:

I so feel your pain! I remember speaking exactly the way you did, i would be so good for a few days and then all of a sudden id find my hand in a huge bag of lays potato chips until there wasnt anything else left to eat. I dont know if it will help you but what helped me steer clear of that was discovering the REAL reason i wanted it so bad. Was it because i KNEW i was fat and i needed to lose weight or was it because i WANTED to be lean and healthy. So i was watching tv last night and i heard someone really interesting, the guy said to LOVE your body for what it is now and now what you want it to be. First step is to appreciate what youve got, everybody wehther they be skinny or short or tall or a lil on the overweight side has something to be proud of!! Just beleive in yourself and stay focused... i know people do try the 1200 a day thing but it seems kind of low? it depends on your frame i guess, what are you stats anyway? if you can safely lose 1-2 pounds a week on a reduced calorie diet theres no need to drop all the way down to 1200, that may be the reason you cant stick to it, because you might depriving yourself of proper nutrition. I know exactly how it is to be in your position but i want you to not give up because it can be done!! If i can do it so can you, i wish you the best!!