I already know about bulk and dollar stores! lol I've always planned on buying things from the dollar store lol and when we get to do the groceries here we always buy bulk, and most of the time we choose no name over brand name, I know about saving money, I don't come from a well off family...

I've tried getting an online quote before and I always ended up getting really expensive quotes, once I even got a $500/mth quote for a 1995 neon!!

95% of the apartments here include utilities and a fridge and stove, so we don't have to worry about that.

We have alot of what we would need already, it is just some little things that we would need, and we planned on going garage saling to get some of that (microwave, toaster etc.)

I know how to stretch a dollar, I will admit that one problem I will have is giving up the things I want b/c we can't afford it, but I can do it, I'm not one to buy something I know I can't afford, no matter how badly I want it.

I have estimated our bills to be around $1500-$1600 my bf will make around $1600, if I work 20hrs/wk at min wage I'll make around $500/mth, so my income would pretty much be disposable income.

I tend to agree with Misti in this case. And, as for comparing your treatment to that of your BF's step-sister; don't do it. Clearly, you do not care for her and that is fine. You've made an arrangement with your BF's parents and they have kept their end of the bargain by providing a roof over your heads. What arrangement they make with anyone else is, frankly, none of your business. It doesn't have to be fair - life rarely is. Whether you pay rent or not it is THEIR house and that gives them the right to set the ground rules. Let me assure you, it is a much bigger inconvenience for them to have grown children and their SO others living in their home than it is for you to put up with them while you are there. I love my children and they will never be without a place to live as long as I have one BUT that doesn't mean I don't want them to give their best effort to growing up and moving out.

If you do choose to move out (and I think that is a good idea given how you feel about your current situation) I would strongly suggest that you re-think considering your income as "disposable." You should be saving as much as you can for whatever might come up. You want to be prepared, for instance, if the car needs a repair. Then there will be tags and registration, inspection stickers, oil changes, tire rotations and replacements...and that is JUST THE CAR! Nevermind, day to day life and (gasp!) retirement. Once you are out on your own life is going to come at you really fast. And that is okay, as long as you are PREPARED. Ideally, you should have enough money in the bank to cover at least 6 months of living expenses in case of an emergency (what if one of you loses your job? It happens to people everyday, and often to people who least deserve it. Like I said, life isn't always fair).

To that end, I would suggest you go to work full time whether you HAVE to or not. I know people who are single, with children, and are full time students who still manage to work full time (different jobs at different companies, with flexible hours) so I know it can be done. Unless there is a REALLY good reason you aren't working full time you probably should be. At least until you've been out on your own for a while and know for sure that the budget you've made for yourself is really going to work. Take it from a SAHM mom of three children with years of exeprience in accounting, your budget on paper is an important starting point but it isn't necessarily going to reflect "real" life expenses (no matter how much thought you've put into it).

I dont know how many times I have to say it, THEY WANT US HERE!!!! Their not doing this to try and make us move out, they have said a million and one times they WANT US HERE, they dont want us to move out, they don't think were ready, she has stopped us SOOOO many times from trying move out.

The only reason she isn't paying is b/c 'she is joe's daughter' which is bull, if we pay, she pays! They wanted $50/wk out of me working part time, she is working full time, she can afford it, their so hard up for money, and she will be using just as many or MORE resources than us, and if she doesn't pay, we'll be the ones paying for it b/c when their bills go up instead of making her pay they'll come after us.

I never said that just b/c my bf will make enough to pay the bills that I would just go out and blow my money on crap, I'm not stupid, I'll be saving it, I know emergencies are going to happen and that we need to have money in the bank saved for those emergencies. Sayings it is disposable was an expression, meaning that my bf will make just enough to pay the bills, so my income will be used for other things, such as emergency bills, savings, or occasionally when we can afford it, a nice night out or a new CD, or whatever.

I will be working full time if I get this babysitting job that I'm talking to a family about right now, I live in a SMALL town with MAYBE 2500 people, there isn't much to choose from so its take what you can get, and I don't have my G2 yet so I can't drive on my own, which means I can't drive to the other town (where I used to live, thats bigger) to work, besides that would cost more on gas. I've been taking out resumes ALL the time, I can't help it if I don't get calls about any of them, right now Im working one day a week b/c thats ALL there is. If we both work in town here, which is ideal, that means we will spend less on gas, and if we can't afford it at all, of if we can't afford it right away, we won't need the car since we will be able to walk/bike to work.

Why don't you guys move to a bigger town?

I would also suggest waiting tables as a lucrative part time job. I made enough money waiting tables to completely pay for my last two years of college (rent, utilities, car/renters insurance, tuition, books, etc). I wasn't working in a fancy place either, just a Mexican chain.

I lived with my Mother and my step father from age 9-20. My mom had another child with my step father when I was 10 - a little girl and I love her to pieces but I leanred that life is not fair and it is not worth having all these resentments - it is VERY hard to watch my 10 year old sister be allowed to do all the things I was never allowed. But you have to let it slide, is it REALLY that important? When I was 10, I had to go to bed at 8:30, I wasn't allowed to have sleep overs, when I was 15 I wasn't supposed to go the mall by myself, when I was 20 I have to be home by 10pm, etc. Here she is 10 years old allowed to do all the things I couldn't do even at 20 (they like her home a little before 10). I KNOW what it feels like it, but that is life. There is no point letting it bother you, there is so many more important things then silly little things like that.

WHO CARES that she doesn't have to pay rent. She isn't you and in the end you will turn out better then her because you were taught resonsibility. I always said to my parents, "but so and so doesn't have to the clean the house, and they are allowed to have sleep overs, and they are allowed to go to the mall, they are allowed to do this and that, etc, etc" I was always told "I don't care about so and so!" And I was always so mad and compared myself to every once and was always so angry and spent too many years being mad about this kind of thing, ITS NOT WORTH IT!

Don't worry about stupid things, your 19 enjoy it! You are learning responsibility and she isn't. In the long run you will be better off!

Trixie, I'm not suggesting your BF's mother and step-father WANT you there. I said it about my own children, if they need my support at ANY age I will WANT to give it to them. If they aren't financially ready to move out I wouldn't push them. That doesn't mean it wouldn't be a sacrifice to have them there at that stage of our lives.

I've been where you are. My husband and I moved in with my parents when we built our first house. It was a supposed 3-6 month process that, because of weather, turned into 9 months. My parents were very happy to help us. They were very accomodating. We did disrupt their lifestyles though. Because of that, we had an obligation to do certain things their way - whether we agreed with them or not. Our other option, like you, would have been to get our own apartment.

Living in their home means you are going to have to tolerate certain decisions that are THEIRS to make - like whether or not your BF's step sister could or should pay to be there. Rent doesn't buy you the right to call the shots. That is true even when you aren't related to the landlords.

What I'm trying to say is that you should be sure your decision to move out is a financially responsible one rather than driven by your dislike of your BF's step sister and his parent's decisions regarding her - because you probably aren't going to be able to change either one. And, if you can tolerate both for just a little while you should be able to save enough money to move out with a bit more stability in a relatively small amount of time. And that would not only be better for you but your BF's mother wouldn't have to worry about whether or not you are ready.

The point is that she doesn't have to pay b/c she is his daughter, he is favoring her, which is wrong. I have a 10 year old brother, who is aloud to do alot of what I wasn't at his age as well, but things are alot different in my family than they were when I was 10, I dont think its right and my parents are the ones who are paying for it now, he wasn't disiplined so now thinks he can get away with anything, and usually does. If they were charging rent to teach us responsibility it would be a whole different story, but thats not why they do it, they are drowning in debt, and having her out here will make it worse, I realize it costs more to have us here, and room and board is fine, even though I think $50/wk is a bit much for someone working part time, but she is working full time and she won't try to save money by turning off the lights, or turning down the air conditioner when its not so hot outside, she won't care, so it will cost them more to have her here, and we will be the ones who get the backlash, they will come after us for money b/c joe won't allow my bf's mom to go after his daughter, he will blame it all on us, my bf's mom won't stand up him. so its not really that 'oh its not fair boo who' its that were going to suffer when its costing them more to have her here.

Yup. That is how it is my house, my little sister is favoured because she is his daughter. But when it comes down to it, this isn't your family, it's his and if he has a problem with it then he needs to talk to them. You can't let it bother you because it's not worth the trouble. You really need to drop it and forget about it, just smile.

Fair enough that you can't afford $50/wk but it really isn't very much. BUT your are not their daughter, so it is totally fair (IMO) that you should pay rent. She is his daughter so he can do whatever he wants with her. Even if you don't like them, they have given you a place to live and they really DON'T HAVE to do that. Asking you for $50/wk really isn't a lot.

Were not planning on moving out on a whim, we have wanted to move out for a while, were planning on saving money first, as much as we can. We need to know how much our bills are going to be though, and I can estimate everything but car insurance, I told my bf today he needs to tell his mom that he wants to see the bill and know how much he is paying right now, b/c if we plan on moving out we need to know. Im not sure how that will go over with her, she will probably refuse to show him and just give some random high number, especially if she finds out that we want to know to move out, I figured out today that if he saves $200 every pay in July, August and September, he will have $1400 (7 pays) if I get this babysitting job Im after, I can save $200-$250/mth, which makes it another $600-$750, which in total is $2000-$2150, so we could move in October. I tried looking at the bill today for car insurance, b/c to my surprise the cabinet wasn't locked, but I couldn't understand it at all....

In all honesty, parents will ALWAYS favour their OWN children. Even if they don't MEAN to do it. Most of the time, they won't even realise they are doing it. And I am sure when it comes time for you and I to be a mother we will favour our children even if we try not to.

Just to be clear, I never implied that I thought you were stupid. Your original post ask that people take a look at your budget and offer an suggestions of things you might have missed. You had not mentioned savings - so I suggested it. I apologize if my advice came across as condescending in any way. It wasn't intended to be!

I didn't ask to live here, they offered, and told me I would never have to pay, not that I didn't plan on every paying, maybe $50/mth working part time b/c $50/wk could be half my pay sometimes at part time, my bf can't talk to them, they won't listen, he has tried. My bf is upset that they try to get so much out of him, but she is treated like a queen just b/c she is his daughter, if I were my bf's mom I'd be sticking up for my son, but like I said she has no backbone and won't stand up to him, what he says goes, he is one of those old fashioned men who think woman should do everything, he makes more monry than my bf's mom but pays less when it comes to bills.

Hi Trixie14,

I think what people are trying to say is... moving out means you've decided to take care of yourself and become an independent adult. And a part of that process is letting go of the stuff that is hard for you at home-- something a lot of people here have been through and want to help you get through, too. I don't think anyone is saying you're wrong to call your situation unfair-- just that you'll need your energy for other things now.

If you think about these issues as emotional baggage, then what you're hearing in this thread is the suggestion that you stop carrying it. It won't go away-- it never really does-- but you can put it up on the top shelf of your closet for a while and stop lugging it around. You can turn your attention to the exciting and challenging job of flying solo.

Best of luck!