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Old 05-23-2006, 02:41 AM   #1  
Angelina/Gerard is Love
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Angry Feel like crap!

Last week was so great. I reached my first 10 lb goal! Then I proceeded to totally destroy that. I am now back to 245. What is WRONG with me?! I must love being fat and miserable because when I get on a roll, doing everything I'm supposed to do, losing those lbs and being happy, I always do something to mess it up! I always tell myself that I'm straving and I just HAVE to have that cake or eat that ice cream at 3 in the MORNING!!! I must love pain, must love people being hateful, making remarks and looking at me like I'm a worm because I CONTINUE to ruin myself! I ask myself everyday 'What's the point?' yet for some stupid reason, I still wake up and call myself trying to stay on plan. I am such a joke. I wish I could cry but all my tears were used up years ago.
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Old 05-23-2006, 02:47 AM   #2  
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Dont give up! We all fall but we need to get back up. Today is another day! You can do it.... : )
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Old 05-23-2006, 08:22 AM   #3  
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Sorry you're feeling crummy, dear. Couple of uick questions to ponder... might it be pre-TOM? That might explain the mood swing, the slight re-gain and the attack of the munchies. That's how pre-TOM affects some folks, perhaps you're one of them?

In any event, don't be too down on yourself. You have to be your own best cheerleader! I know how frustrating it is to think you've got 10 in the bag and then 4 manage to get back out, but you've still got 6 in the bag. And you'll recapture those 4 (and more)!
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Old 05-23-2006, 08:38 AM   #4  
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Don't feel bad!!! Like JT said - today's another day!! You can do it!!! You've lost it before, you can definitely do it again! We all have our bad days and we all gain back some that we've lost - those crazy cravings don't disappear easily, ya know... but in the end, you have to get back on the wagon. Good luck!
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Old 05-23-2006, 09:08 AM   #5  
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Try not to be hard on yourself we have all been in your shoes at one time or another!
It will be ok and you will just dust yourself off and give it another try!
Good luck hun, we are all on your side!
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Old 05-23-2006, 11:36 AM   #6  
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Thank God we get a brand new start every day. Don't be too hard on yourself. I lost my first 10, then gained 2 back and was so frustrated. then the next week I'd lost those 2 pluse 1 more. Don't give up, stay on track. you'll get there. sometimes it seems like the ultimate goal is so far away. but if you look hard, you can see that tiny speck of light, that will only get bigger and bigger as you get closer. Just dont.give.up.
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Old 05-23-2006, 12:05 PM   #7  
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If it's becoming overwelming for you, then try to look at it one hour at a time. Just try to get past one craving at a time, or one meal at a time. Don't look at the big picture.

I've had to do this many times. Sometimes it just gets so overwelming. I know it makes me want to eat when I get depressed about it. But taking it one meal/snack at a time really helps me get past it. Before I know it the day is over and I've done a good job, or at least better than I would have before.

When I exercise I have the hardest time getting started and then it just plain sucks for the first 10 mins. That's the time I want to quit the most. But after that, I feel good and find it easier to keep going. Maybe your start is like that. Hard. Push through it the best you can and you'll reach a point where it gets easier and you feel good about your progress and actions.
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Old 05-23-2006, 09:49 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JasonsLea
Last week was so great. I reached my first 10 lb goal! Then I proceeded to totally destroy that. I am now back to 245. What is WRONG with me?! I must love being fat and miserable because when I get on a roll, doing everything I'm supposed to do, losing those lbs and being happy, I always do something to mess it up! I always tell myself that I'm straving and I just HAVE to have that cake or eat that ice cream at 3 in the MORNING!!! I must love pain, must love people being hateful, making remarks and looking at me like I'm a worm because I CONTINUE to ruin myself! I ask myself everyday 'What's the point?' yet for some stupid reason, I still wake up and call myself trying to stay on plan. I am such a joke. I wish I could cry but all my tears were used up years ago.

don't beat yourself up! We all fall off the wagon at some point it wether or not we chose to get back on that counts!

How long have you been at your highets weight? could it possibly be that since being at that weight for so long its become a comfort zone? If so then maybe that is a reason for the slip?? Maybe sit down and take some time to really find out what its is you are scared of in regardes to loseing weight...

When I did this I relazied that I was scared of
a) what others would think/say
B)not having the "guts" to voice the fact that I am eating healthier
c)how I would polietly decline food and not insult people
d)how my life would change.

Then I wrote out all the possible scinarios and solutions...

just a thought?
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Old 05-23-2006, 10:11 PM   #9  
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Shari,

I tell the same thing to myself. Don't feel bad. I do it all the time. And you know what? Maybe I gain back what I've lost, maybe I don't gain an pound, but I won't beat myself for it because I know it's almost inevitable that I feel the need to break out of the "off limits" rules. I almost know it each time I make one because I just don't want be like Hitler to myself.....Well I really should start controlling myself more when I turn 21 but you know, it's okay. You'll do just fine...
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Old 05-24-2006, 03:47 AM   #10  
Angelina/Gerard is Love
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Thanks everyone. I feel so much better now.

Lena ~ I don't think I'm pre TOM. I just got off of it! But I could be wrong. The weeks are going by so fast.

Fitgal ~ I never really thought about it. I mean, I think about what my life would be like when I'm finally at my happy weight: I'll be more confident, pretty, etc. But I'm thinking these thoughts while I'm eating chocolate! I don't know what I'm doing.
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Old 05-24-2006, 07:47 AM   #11  
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I sure do hear you. If I had a nickel for every time I found myself eating when I knew I was not hungry and saying to myself - why am I doing this? I would be rich. We eat for so many different reasons. There are so many little tricks I use to stop my old behavior and reinforce my new lifestyle. One thing that helped me was to take the time to write out my goals and a plan to achieve them. When I make a mistake - I try and sit down - understand what triggered that - stress, whatever then come up with 5 ways to avoid it next time. It is all about doing things right more often than you do things wrong. Learning from the times you go off plan and lowering the number of times that happens. We will never be perfect, but we can sure make progress.

I wish you the very best!
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Old 05-24-2006, 10:36 AM   #12  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JasonsLea
Thanks everyone. I feel so much better now.

Lena ~ I don't think I'm pre TOM. I just got off of it! But I could be wrong. The weeks are going by so fast.

Fitgal ~ I never really thought about it. I mean, I think about what my life would be like when I'm finally at my happy weight: I'll be more confident, pretty, etc. But I'm thinking these thoughts while I'm eating chocolate! I don't know what I'm doing.
I hear ya I have been there!!! but please don't beat yourself up it will only make you feel worse maybe you could just take a day for your self and refocus, buy some magazines (or a book) about fitness (I like Self)--I think refocusing your mind will help a bit...???
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