I just read a book called "Fed Up!" by Wendy Oliver-Pyatt and want to talk with others who are interested in talking more about her basic theory. Basically she says that diets don't work (many people believe this) and that the only way to get to a natural, healthy weight is to reprogram your brain of unhealthy attitudes about food and exercise.

The book was great, however based on everything we have read and known about loosing weight the things she says will take a lot of time and focus to make happen. I think she is right and I want to make changes in the way I think about food, weight, body image and exercise. I think the only way this will happen is if I become in-tune with my thoughts every time I eat, don't eat, think about eating... etc and also by talking this with others.

Anyone out there sick of feeling deprived and tired of being controlled by the way others think they should be eating? Anyone want to learn with me how to listen to our bodies and understand how it feels to be hungry and full? Anyone out there sick of dieting? I am. There must be others out there.

Kona

here am i...
i think i am an emotional eater...
this is a big problem to me...
i think that my will of food is started because my mather kept me on died since i was child.
i never could ate candies or chocolate or what else, when i went to mate's birthday she always told me not to eat and so on...
and now food is my ways to say "i'm indipendent" (i think)
and it's destroying me.
so i've decided to stop.
but is so difficult when your mind tells you "EAT"every second!

"but is so difficult when your mind tells you "EAT" every second!"

Yes, it is. Start by trying to figure out when you want to eat why it is you want to eat. Because you're tired, bored, stressed, happy or because it's "dinner time" or because others are eating, or is it because you're actually hungry. Once you start to break down the reasons it will make it easier to say no to food and not feel deprived. For example, let's say you are stressed about something and want to eat. Tell yourself you are only hungry because you're stressed and that eating will not relieve the stress but possible add to it. Then come up with something that relieves stress without adding to it. Do this with every urge. It takes time to learn but it will get better over time. I'm starting to feel better just from listening to my needs and addressing them correctly.

kona

I am also ready to listen to my body! I am an emotional eater I have been one since I was 16 years old. I was abused as a child and that depression and the bad feelings are always with me. I eat when I'm sad, happy , mad, bored and stressed. And if I'm sad, stressed or mad I will eat eat eat eat and eat more even though I know that I am so full I could go "POP". I am now 20 years old, married and happy but yet the pain of the abuse is still with me and it still bothers me everyday that I open my eyes. I have tried to "Forget" about it but I can't so I eat instead. I have tried diets apon diets and nothing seems to work. Hopefully, someone can help me....
Crystal

I am really trying to listen to my body too. I think there are so many factors to why I became overweight --- food association with love, good times, boredom, depression, celebration, just plain tasting good so you keep eating....

Also, it is a control thing too.

I think too, and my husband and I talk about this a lot because he battles weight as well (although you wouldn't know it, he is so thin, but it is a mental thing) -- that we are programmed to eat anytime food is available because in early days....we had to. When food was something you gathered or hunted every day and there were droughts and rain etc....when the people in your *tribe* got some food... you ate it... and it was to sustain you until the next big meal. ....The trouble is now, we have food available at all times so even when we feel the slightest big hungry, we feel like we are STARVING and must eat NOW....

I think that is part of it too. Along those same lines, I think that we get confused. Sometimes people (especially voerweight people, including me) get into a bad habit of feeling like they are hungry just because they aren't full...know what I mean? Like there is a point between being *not quite hungry yet* but not being full that I think I personally mistake as being super hungry so I eat.

It is okay to feel every so *slightly* hungry. I don't mean like, oh my god, I am going to pass out hunger pains.... I mean, not full, but ever so slightly hungry. I have to tell myself, the food is still there, it is not going anywhere, I have control over what I eat, how much, and when, and I have control to stop.

Also, it is proven that it takes a while for our brains to catch up with what we have just eaten and I will think I am still hungry, eat some more, then feel stuffed. I have found that mini-meals, or taking a break in between a decent sized healthy meal helps my brain catch up with my eyes and stomach.

It is so hard sometimes *sigh*

I think no one can be successful at long-term (key word) weight loss until they deal with whatever issues are inside of them. It can be as simple as eating when bored, to as complicated and painful as over-eating to fill the pain of longterm abuse or something... and so many in betweens.

I am working on weight loss, but this time, I am working HARDER on the inside, which is why it *seems* to be working now.

Good luck to you all on your journey.

I don't diet... personally I agree they don't work and we need a healthful lifestyle and to focus on it in a positive way. However, I will go out on a limb and also say I do NOT think listening to our bodies is the way to go. My body often says "feed me" when I do not need food. My body does not need to be in control... I do! If my body says give me junk I can choose to say "No... you'll have what I say you can have when I say you can have it!"

Often my body will try to convince me it is hungry when it is not; and even if it is slightly hungry a bit of discipline is GOOD for it!!

I don't look at this as something to be endured but as super positive steps I am taking to get in shape and improve my health. AND since I do make an effort... crockpot cooking on weekends so there is lots of healthful and delicious stuff around all week and in freezer... I now love the way I eat FAR better than when I wasn't doing this.

Exercise is the same... my body wants to couch out with a book or in front of the TV. It does NOT always want to get out there and go walking or use those workout balls.... but again, it is when I "listen to my body" that I get into trouble... but when I exercise self-control, and with God's help and inspiration, I not only can do it, but enjoy the process! Not to say there is never a temptation... of course there is. But I am going to "bust my butt" trying to focus on the positive and be so happy with each step forward that the sacrifice will be worth it!! I still have a LONG way to go... but each time I try on a piece of clothing that now fits... or jump up out of my chair far more easily than I used to... or see the glow on my complexion from all the walking... or hear my doctor say she is proud of me... I will rejoice in it and count the cost as well worth it.

Recently someone on 3FC posted a quote that really blessed me and I often remind myself of it... "If you enjoy the results, learn to enjoy the process."

Just my opinion.

I grew up in a health conscious home. My mother made sure we ate a well balanced diet. Sodas, cookies, and other junk food were only eaten as special treats. Fast forward to my independence day. I bought a lot of coca-cola (my worst enemy), and all thinks junk related with the exception of chips. I am probably one of the few that doesn't like chips at all. Here I am thirteen years later, and 60 pounds heavier.

I feel like I have a responsibility to my children to eat healthy as an example, and to let them know a little of the "forbidden foods" aren't really forbidden, but that they can be eaten in moderation.

Kona, I absolutely agree with you. If you look on the maintenance section of 3FC there is a post (somewhere) about maintenance looking just like the journey. You have to change your lifestyle along the journey and follow that lifestyle.

It involves enjoying the treasures and gifts we have... good food, good friends, fun activities, meditation, loving life.. and living it.

Thanks for starting such a wonderful thread.

I read this book quite awhile back. I took it off the shelf today and reread some of the parts I highlighted.

While observing a friend she notes:

".... Her beauty showed on the outside, not because she was model thin but because she cared for herself. Her beauty stemmed from her lovbe of herself, which was her own and grew from within."

She goes on to explain: "Self love is the most powerful weight-loss tool you possess."

Wendy Oliver-Pyatt in Fed Up! p. 74

This book sounds good so I ordered it from Chapters.

So true!

Jude, I think you will find that it is worth the money. Come back and post as you read it.