Hi everyone! Although I have visited this site and read alot on the forum I have never posted here before. .so this is all new to me but it seems to me as though this is a wonderful community of supporting people that can understand the problems that I go through and can help. All my life I have been overweight. I don't ever remember being thin. In fact, I remember dieting when I was nine years old. So I guess I realize now that this is a life change and not necessarily just a diet. It has taken all my life to figure this out. I guess I knew this information a few years ago, but have been going through the "process" of figuring out what works best for me. I have realized that eating in moderation works best for me and counting calories and not restricting myself to any one type of food. I have been using a computer program that I bought that keeps up with my calorie intake, my goals and exercise and nutrients that I have been using for almost 2 weeks now. Well, now that I have told a little about my background I want to tell you about what I need help with now. My husband and I live in Germany right now. He is in the military and now deployed...so I'm using this time to do my best to lose the weight for myself. I am an all or nothing type of person. I know that we all have slip ups or a day that we don't stay on our diet now and then but if I mess up one day, then it takes weeks for me to get back on track. I guess the reason I'm so stressed right now is because living over here, I am going to be traveling...and with the foreign foods..I have no idea how many calories are in the foods nor do I have any idea what I will be eating when we travel around over here because you always run into something that you have never heard of before. Well, on the beginning of April I am supposed to be traveling with a group into Checkloslovokia for a shopping trip for a day and I am freaking out! I'm so afraid. I know my body and know when I get hungry and how much I can eat before I should stop...but what kills me is not knowing calorie content in the foods....what if I go over my calorie content without knowing , after religiously typing in everything I have eaten and not slipping up once in the past couple of weeks. I know that this will not be the only time that I will be traveling while living over here, for I really want to plan a trip to Paris for when my husband comes home...so I know that I am going to have to adjust to traveling and relying on my body to let me know how much is enough and to really focus on these traveling times to listen to my body so that I don't mess up...but it just really freaks me out! I'm so afraid of slipping up...I'm trying to take it one day at a time...but I really don't want to mess up this time around. Do you guys sometimes feel like this when you know that you are going to be somewhere where it is nearly impossible to count calories Or is it just me? I know this is a long post and thanks for bearing through this long post with me. And thanks so much for listening to me.

Hi Cruisintolose... So glad you came out of lurksville!

Having lived in another country, I can relate a bit to what you are talking about. And with traveling you can't always plan in advance what you will eat and figure out all the calories when you don't always even know what something IS!!

But hang in there! I think as you adjust to the country and traveling more, you will get a better idea of what your body needs... and it IS generally pretty easy to tell if something is a vegetable or fruit -- or fatty meat, etc.

This is a great place for support and encouragement so come back often and join in anywhere! You can do it!

Hi cruisintolose,

OK. So I related a lot to your post. I am an "all or nothing" type person, as well as someone who worries about every possible thing that could go wrong.

So, this has been a hard journey for me. I have not just had to work on the weight loss, but this part of my mind as well. Because I couldn't do it with the all or nothing thing, because, well, it was impossible. I had to learn that one bad day did not mean I was a failure, that I could get back on the wagon the next day without everything being "ruined." So, honestly, my advice to you would be to look at the anxiety, the feeling of all or nothing, and see what you can do internally to change your thought process, because for me, that thought process sent me through a roller coaster until I was able to forgive myself and my body.

As far as the travel, I know exactly what you are saying about this. I have faith that as you learn about different foods and their calories, you will eventually be able to gauge this without needing something telling you exactly how many cals "schnitzel" or "brie" or anything other foreign (atleast to me) food has. Does that make sense? As you practice with your cal counting, you learn the meats, the fats, the carbs, you learn how different cooking processes affect the cals (fried, baked, grilled, etc).

I am at the point where I can look at something, even if I haven't eaten that exact thing before, and know approx. how many calories are in it. I am also learning how to monitor my hunger, and working not just on monitoring calories, but only eating to fill my physical hunger, and then quit eating when I am full instead of eating everything on my plate.

Anyway, I am rambling now, but I wish you luck. Feel free to post more with questions, you can either do that here or PM me.

Good luck, Alicia

Oh no you are not rambling at all... that is fantastic insight and I agree! I don't even count calories because I pretty much KNOW what each thing is and whether or not I should eat it; you sort of develop a "sense" even if the food is unfamiliar or... like tonight for me... I was at a potluck. AND yes... I am learning too to stop when I am full... makes a huge difference.

You guys are wonderful! Yes, I have my safe zone at home and I feel as though if I go away far from my safe zone then I freak out a little. I can count my calories at home or even if I eat burger king or something..but it's near impossible to count if I go out into the economy. I know I can't live like this forever. I do realize that it is all in the mind. Thanks for reminding me that this is not only a process through counting calories but it is also a mind process as well. I mean, this is a one day trip and it's 2 weeks away and look at me..I'm freaking out! So I am going to try and remember to just enjoy the sights and just try and actually enjoy the trip and remember that it is a mind process as well. I am learning more and more about how much I can eat, just in the last 2 weeks. So I'm going to just try and listen to my body and my instincts on this trip and whatever other places that I end up going. It is just another stepping stone and learning process to get to the end. I refuse to give up. ..and I'm not going to let this trip stand in my way of weight loss. ..or even the schnitzel for that matter..lol. You guys have given me alot to think about. It won't be easy for me...I'm trying my best to get out of that all or nothing mentality. I will love the day when I can have that complete "sense" in how much I should eat or what I should eat like you guys have going. I will love the day when I can trust myself with my body again. I feel like I have "failed" so many times that I can't trust my body to give me the information that I need. therefore if I go any place away from the safe zone I tend to panic...thinking I can't lose weight unless I count every calorie every single day.

Your right curly girl. I too have been on a rollercoaster because of this way of thinking and it has to end. It is going to be hard to change my internal way of thinking but I'm going to try my best.I am trying to realize that one day is not going to break me. ..that at times it is not all about the everlasting calorie..it's being able to trust myself. It's so very hard! Calories keep me in check you know. I know that if I can count those calories that eventually I can lose the weight if I eat the right amount of calories, but the reason I have failed in the past has been because of the way my mind works. If something came up I would just give up and it would take me weeks possibly months to try again..therefore gaining more weight. Like if I went on a trip or moved to another location or even going home for a visit..because my family loves to eat! dance4joy and curlygirl..thank you for your inspiration. I can't wait until I can get to the point of eating and being able to trust my body again. It's going to be a long journey for me...as far as changing my way of thinking..but I refuse to give up. Thanks alot.

crusintolose

You really REALLY sound so much like me it is crazy...the over analysis in advance, the freaking out, the need for routine and control in a controllable space. And I have come a long way, but still struggle at times too. I hope I was able to help, and I wish you luck.

Alicia

I am also an all or nothing person, or at least I was. But if you get right down to it, what it really means is "doing" or "not doing" and to be fair, I was really more of a nothing person. You should think of "all" or "doing" as committing to living healthy, and getting right back up if you fall. Falling down is not failure, failure is staying down (I read that here). If you commit to try your best then that is all you can ask of yourself. No one is perfect, no one can be "all" all the time. But if you decide you are committed, then one day off the wagon should not tail spin you into 3 weeks of cheating. The key is to remember that you and I and most people on this site, have to change our lives...period. We are not trying to lose 5 pounds that snuck up on us, this has been a life long struggle. We have to make a lifelong change to reverse the effects. As far as traveling and not knowing calories goes, you have to have some kind of idea what is good and what isn't. Creamy sauces, fatty meats, that is a no brainer. You have to trust yourself and believe that you have enough self control to make choices that are in your best interest. From the looks of things, you have already done really well, so why would you assume that you can't continue that? Also, you may want to consider having a cheat day. It keeps you motivated and on track, and eliviates the guilt of a shopping day with friends or a night out. It's only 1 day, and it can make a world of difference in your lifeling committment. So, go ahead and be an all or nothing person, just don't forget the true meaning. We all know you can do it.