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-   -   Problem starting then sticking to it... (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/77473-problem-starting-then-sticking.html)

erinlyt 02-27-2006 05:53 PM

Problem starting then sticking to it...
First off my name is Erin, 26 mommy to two girls sam 3 and becca almost 22 months. I cannot figure out what my problem is. I am probably close to 300lbs and I cant get motivated to lose weight. u would think just seeing myself naked would motivate me but it doesnt. I just feel so disgusting anymore I have no energy to play with my kids. I have made promises that i will start next pay day and that day comes another promise broken... why is it soo hard? what do u do for this?

Heather 02-27-2006 06:05 PM

Erin -- I was at about 300 pounds when I started. Like you, I had made promises to myself MANY times about losing but never got started. Then, for a while I just gave up and resigned myself to being fat forever.

I think I finally realized that someday my weight was going to seriously affect my lifestyle.

Let me rephrase that... my weight WAS seriously affecting my lifestyle, but I realized it was only going to get more severe, especially if I kept gaining.

I was finally able to COMMIT to a different lifestyle, even though I started slowly, first by just portion control. When food came along that I didn't think I should eat right then, I asked myself "Is this WORTH it?" And I have been able to pass up many foods since then by answering "NO" to that question -- though there are times I do indulge.

I don't think it's always about motivation, per se, but about sticking to a commitment we make ourselves and a promise for a healthier lifestyle.

I want you to know that you CAN do this if you want to! But you have to find a plan that works for YOU!

I invite you to join other women who started at or above 300 pounds:

AND/OR the 100 pound club: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=55

There are some inspiring stories there, and lots of support

teahoney 02-27-2006 06:44 PM

Wyllen speaks the truth. Motivation is good and it definitely helps but committment is the key. Committment and determination is what keeps you going when the motivation is long gone.

I definitely know how you feel though. I had recently lost 20 pounds and unfortunately have gained fifteen back. Thankfully I have recommitted myself and I will remember my own words this time around.

DeafinlySmart 02-27-2006 07:17 PM

Motivation and Commitment are two different things, but on the motivation side, sometimes some of us need to see weightloss as fun or see a plan in place.

Try some of the following:

1. Make a master list of all the foods you like that you can have while losing weight. Make sure some of these include convience foods and snacks.
2. Get a fitday account (www.fitday.com). This is a way to log your foods and excercise and see what it looks like in pie charts, etc. It's fun to me.
3. Make a master list of all things active that you like to do and that you are WILLING to do. This can range from gym excercises to snow tubing.
4. Buy a pedometer. Wear it all day. Try to get 10k steps a day (don't beat yourself up if you don't). Try to beat your high scores. Write it down if you would like. It's like a game.
5. Enlist a buddy. Preferably in real life, but 3chicks will be there when you need us too.
6. Don't think all or nothing. Allow yourself small variations from you diet. It'll keep you from gorging later.
7. Read up on weight loss. Pick something that is doable for YOU. Something you are more willing to stick with for life. This is about changing your lifestyle, not a temporary fix.

8. Write your NSV (non scale victories) and put them on the fridge. Did you beat your score on the pedometer? Did you drop a size? Did you work out 10 more min than you did last week? Did you avoid girl scout cookies? These should be celebrated as much as or even more than scale victories.9. Measure yourself. Many find loss in measurement than scale.
10. Celebrate what you CAN do.

susie_sunshine 02-27-2006 07:20 PM

I find the fit day thing a little complicated.... maybe i didn't give it enough of a chance?

Less of Lena 02-27-2006 07:28 PM

Excellent replies and suggestions so far!

May I add one more: Baby steps.

Don't try to change EVERYthing in your life in one fell swoop. You'll be overwhelmed and, if you're like me, just end up chucking the whole plan. Instead, change just one little thing. Let yourself get used to it, then add another little thing. Then another, then another.

As you incorporate new things in, the ones you already put in will start to feel more natural.

This coming Wednesday is March 1, and for me, the First is always a good time to start new projects. Can you incorporate say just one little change starting Wednesday? And then another on, say, Monday?

Less of Lena 02-27-2006 07:31 PM

Susie, Fitday takes a bit of time to get used to. It's not as intuitive as it could be. But once you give it some time and start customizing it to your personal liking, it gets much easier and much more convenient.

I went over to FitdayPC and, while it's not perfect, I really like it and find it good value for the money.

If Fitday isn't your cup of tea, however, there are others: BalanceLog, Myfooddiary and Nutridiary are 3 that come to mind immediately. I'm sure there are others as well. Heck, some people just use the old-fashioned pen and paper method (so last century! :lol: ).

((edited for spelling))

Wisertime 02-27-2006 07:31 PM

Just like Wyllenn, I too gave up and resigned myself to being overweight for life. Then I found this place. When I started reading the posts and saw peoples signatures and how they lost 20, 50, and some over 100 pounds it truly inspired me. I thought these are regular people just like me and they did it......You are right, it is hard (sorry, I can't sugarcoat it) and i have fallen off the wagon my fair share, but YOU CAN DO IT!

I thought a lot about it and decided to do a couple of things that I had not tried before. First, I decided to cut way down on my sugar. I stopped buying junk. Period. It was hard in the very beginning, but after about a week, it got much better. Then it was time to think about exercise so I joined Curves (if you haven't heard of it it is an all female workout center, you can find more info on 3FC). Just doing these two things made a difference. I noticed my clothes starting to feel loose. For me, this small victory inspired me to try even harder to lose more. Fast forward two years and I am down 55 pounds and belong to a full gym. I still struggle each day and as you can see by my signature I still have more to lose but I feel that with some persistance I will see my goal.

Sorry for rambling, my point was that changing one or two things at first (so as not to overwhelm yourself) can lead to bigger changes. Try doing just one thing different to start then when you've mastered that add another. You will slowly gain confidence that YES you can do it and it does work. And come here often, for me, I learn something new each day and just knowing that everyone here is going through or has gone through weight loss helps so much.

Good Luck to you.


morrigan 02-27-2006 07:50 PM

I started by removing all trigger food from the house. No cookies - no ingrediants for cookies, no chips, no sour cream, no marshmallows, no graham crackers, no wheat thins, no no no no no

Then I needed to convince myself that my children are not deprived if they don't get to bake cookies with me. I am still working on that. For the first time this year I didn't make all my student cookies for Valentines Day. They just got homework.

Then I started repeating in my head, "I am not a garbage can" and throwing away ALL leftovers. This is especially important for me. I have always overeaten healthy food. I never had a fast food / chocolate /sweets problem, just a way too much of everything problem. Maybe a little chocolate problem - but never a big one.

And honestly - I have no idea what made me start again this time. I had lost weight before and gained it all (and more) back.

I don't regret the decision. Six weeks ago I got winded walking up a hill. In December at the beginning of ski season I had to ski alone because I needed to stop every 3-6 turns and rest. Now I can ski a whole run without stopping.

Heather 02-27-2006 07:57 PM

I second (third?) the idea of taking baby steps. I know I couldn't have done everything right away. I was overwhelmed. I started with portion control...

As for fitday, I use nutridiary and they're similar... they do take some getting used to, but again, you can start small. Try entering a meal. Find your most common foods there, etc... I think it's a fantastic tool for tracking what I eat, and let me tell you I was HIGHLY resistant to the idea!

teahoney 02-27-2006 08:16 PM

Yes, I also second the idea of baby steps. I tend to try to do everything all at once and then become easily overwhelmed. You will find FANTASTIC success stories on this site and a lot start with making small changes to the diet. They decided to only cut out soda or only add one more fruit to their day or drink more water and those changes alone produced weight loss. Then they moved on to another small change and then another.

dalai_lala 02-28-2006 10:57 AM

Yes to all of the above! Sometimes you have to start with just one thing because it's so overwhelming when you read these diets and books that tell you have to change EVERYTHING. I used to gain about ten pounds every year, without fail. Then we started just with reading labels for everything and only choosing things that were lower in fat. We went fat-free or low-fat as much as possible, like sour cream, milk, cheese, and so on. We started cooking with a popular cooking spray instead of lots of oil. We stuck with that until we were used to it, until it was a habit, then changed one more thing, like portion control or upping our water intake.

Now, keep in mind that I still keep sabotaging the diet in other ways, like bingeing and just plain giving up, but I have noticed one good thing: Ever since we took that one small step I have at least maintained. I have not gained the extra ten pounds in any of the past five years. I could have weighed 330 by now, but I'm still at 280, even with all of my excuses and copouts because I've stuck with that first change and made it a habit.

Anyway, all my silly rambling just means... start somewhere, start small, and do it until it becomes your new normal. What's that quote I've seen on somebody's signature? "If you do what you've always done you'll always get what you got."

Good luck!


Tani 02-28-2006 11:14 AM

Baby Steps! Also, saying I'll start on payday, or monday, or even tomorrow isn't as useful as just starting now.

Start tracking your calories and see what you've got going in. Just writing everything down in a little note pad can be really powerful. When you pay attention to what you're eating you tend to make better choices (at least I do!) You don't have to wait until you have a house full of special low cal super foods, portion control of whatever food you're eating is also a great place to start.

Also, get moving! Just a 20 minute walk around the block each day will make a huge difference. I know a woman who could only make it to her mail box when she first started walking, and now she can do 3 miles at a stretch. Baby steps!

NotTheCheat 02-28-2006 12:53 PM

Erin - I so know how you feel. As disturbing as it was to see the change in my reflection, it was never enough to get me to actually get off the couch and get me moving. There were two factors that came together that made things click for me.

The first was the pain - foot pain when I first stepped out of bed, knee pain when I climbed the stairs, back pain for laying in bed too long, leg pain from sitting on too small and hard chairs, etc. . . . I realized that everything I do is painful, and I don't have the energy to do the things I want to do. For you, maybe that is about your kids - having the energy for them. Maybe you are in pain too. Whatever it is, I doubt that vanity will be the motivator you really need. I could be wrong, but it hasn't worked so far - right?

The other aspect for me was knowledge that I have the capacity to make things happen - which for me was completing my college degree. Think about everything you do every day for your kids - all the small tasks that go into caring for them. You feed them, wash them, dress them, clean up after them, tend their bruises, help them learn and so much more. That is an amazing amount of stuff that you do - every day. In the same vein, you are totally capable of doing some of those small things for yourself. You have the capacity and ability. You can do it. You just need to believe in yourself and be ready for some change. As everyone else has said, take it slowly. Don't try to do everything at once. You aren't perfect. If you mess up, and you will, so what? What would you say to your child if they made a mistake? You would probably comfort them and try and help them learn how to do better next time. You wouldn't berate them and belittle them, so don't let you do that to yourself.

Heather 02-28-2006 03:09 PM

Nancy -- What a nice post!

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