Back in December, we had a platoon christmas party at one of my coworkers houses. I got a little drunk and at one point I was singing the "Big Butt" song and making people laugh.
Flash to last night. We are at work and American Idol was on the television (where I work we can watch TV when we have some down time). Anyway, this very large woman was auditioning and she was singing that song. One of my platoon mates looks at another one and says "Who does that remind you of?" She had no clue until he said "Remember the party?" They had a great laugh about it and then proceeded to tell the 2 part time people about my song and my big butt.
At that moment, I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. I almost started to cry but there was no way I would let him see how much he hurt me. I have been doing so well on my diet and now, I am just devastated. I actually thought that my self esteem couldn't get any worse.. I was wrong about that. The shift is over now.. I am home.. and all I want to do is go to bed and cry.
I know I am fat. I see it evertime I look in the mirror or catch my reflection in a window. I hate the way I look and over this past year I have pretty much shut myself off from the world because I feel so badly about myself. Why do people have to make things worse?
Hey... You sang the big butt song... You were MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH, when they recalled the moment, they were still laughing WITH you!
You couldda laughed with them and treated them to an encore! I seriously don't think they were being mean, they were remembering how you were entertaining them at the Christmas party!
If you *know* you are fat... Think of yourself *knowing* that you are getting fitter and slimmer every day... replace that negative thought... you could sing the big butt song with " I like shrinking butts..." to yourself
The guy was being insensitive frankly, and deserves a big SLAP! Don't let him get you down. Just keep thinking positive, and know we're here for ya to vent!
I seriously don't think they were being mean, they were remembering how you were entertaining them at the Christmas party!
I agree--I think sometimes it's easy for us to think that people are being offensive about our size when they're really completely innocent. I bet if that girl on AI was skinny, they still would have said the same thing because they were comparing the PERFORMANCE, not the body size And of course they would mention butt size--it's what the song is about!
Thanks for the speedy responses! It makes me feel better knowing someone out there is listening to me.
As for me taking his comments the wrong way.. maybe.. However, this person is the one guy at work who makes fun of almost everyone. We had a new girl tranfer from Ottawa a couple of months ago and she is very heavy. His nickname for her was TFO (The Fat One). Another girl who is now transfered to Niagra was heavy and he was merciless on her. He would say that she ate so much lunch that she had to have it in parts.. like a trilogy. We ordered food one day and while we were waiting for it to be delivered this large truck pulled in. His comment? "look, it's (girls name) lunch!" He is mean... all the time.
I might be taking what he said the wrong way.. but his history makes me wonder....
I know I am fat. I see it evertime I look in the mirror or catch my reflection in a window. I hate the way I look and over this past year I have pretty much shut myself off from the world because I feel so badly about myself. Why do people have to make things worse?
But hey, look at you, you've lost 10 pounds. And you'll lose more!
Yes it hurts when people make comments. I know, hon, I've been there. And yes, sometimes it makes you just want to give up the whole thing. But maybe this person wasn't trying to be insensitive, they were just thinking of a time you did something similar.
Don't let it discourage you, let it encourage you. Encourage you to get that weight off. Because you CAN. And make sure you do it for you.
Someone who needs to go to that much effort to make others feel bad about themselves has his own self esteem issues. He needs to make himself feel better by making others feel bad about themselves. Pity him, but don't let his problem become yours!
You're taking positive steps to help yourself. I would avoid contact with this person whenever possible. You don't need someone like that to drag you down now that you are on the road to helping yourself!!
Okay so the guy sounds like a grad A But still, move on and laugh about it too! So that one day, you will be getting the last laugh when you're slim and fit!
I agree with everything you all are saying. I'd just like to add that you should feel smug instead of ashamed-- you've located your problem, and it's only a physical thing that you can change, and you *are* changing it. He has yet to notice his (bringing people down for no reason), and so he is just getting worse and worse. Honey, laugh it up because you're better than him!
Like you said this is a person who is often mean, so why are you even considering what he has to say as anything important to you? This isnt about you, its about him, and his self esteem issues. Dont get sucked into his negativity. You have lost 10 lbs, thats an accomplishement, you are headed in the right direction, just keep moving forward, because if you let this comment derail you where will you be? You still wont be at the weight you want to be at. And you will still be miserable. So take control of what you can control, yourself, (not some senseless jerk) just move on , and keep working towards your goal. Good Luck!! Big Hugs, & You can do this!!!
I so agree with everyone who says this guy has his own self esteem issues. Definitely avoid him when possible, who wants to be around negative jerks? No one does, whether they're skinny or large. Next time you have to be around him and he says anything negative about anyone, just look him in the eye, and very sincerely, ask, " Why do you feel the need to put others down? Is it because of ___________? ( name an obvious personality flaw here) " Maybe then he'll understand how it feels to have it turned around, and to be a target. I think for sure it will shut him up.
Other than that, just rise above it. I'm sorry that you and your coworkers have to endure this guy. It seems like everyone is his target. Keep us posted girl! ((HUGS))
I just wanted to add that this guy sounds like one of those people who were bullies in high school, and you know that those people are usually the ones with lowest self esteem, so they pick on everybody else’s problems because they don’t want people seeing their own problems. If I was you, I would take a close look at him and figure out what’s he trying to cover up? And then if you’re feeling really vengeful, make a comment about it and see how he reacts. But that’s just me, I tend to go for the jugular when I’m being attacked in any way, be it physical or emotional.
And if you just want to get past it, try to think of your self as a person with good sense of humor who doesn’t take her self too seriously (come on, the “Butt song”, it must have taken a truly funny person to pull that off).
I have a friend who is also heavy like my self and she always sends me these “fat jokes”.
The latest ones had been:
“Fat people are harder to kidnap.”
“It could be worse, imagine if sex was fattening too?”
So, smile and don’t let the bully get you down, and remember, that no matter how crappy you feel, you always have a place to go vent or whine, whatever you want. Good folks here at 3FC had heard and seen everything and they/we will always be here for you.
Well I don't know the person, and I can't comment on his motives, but reminding people of what you did at the Christmas party is only part of what people in the workplace do.
We had a guy at my former work who got too drunk at the Christmas Party and went around hugging everyone saying "I love you guys"... Well he didn't live that one down any too soon either.
Personally? I think that drinking too much at a work function is just plain asking for it. It doesn't do your career any good, and yes, people are going to bring it up later. Be smarter next time and keep it to one drink, or if you can't handle that to none.
On the other hand you aren't alone. There were kings in the Bible who made fools of themselves because of drinking too much and I suppose if anyone wants to command respect it would be a king. But by itself that is a good lesson for the rest of us. Don't do things like that around your co-workers and bosses. It just doesn't bode well for your future.
I think the guy would have brought it up whatever you did under the influence. Not just singing a big butt song.
I know I'm FAT... why do you have to remind me?
I seriously don't think they were being mean, they were remembering how you were entertaining them at the Christmas party!
But still, move on and laugh about it too! So that one day, you will be getting the last laugh when you're slim and fit! 
