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-   -   A stranger's insensitive comment really upset me (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/61851-strangers-insensitive-comment-really-upset-me.html)

Burgie 07-21-2005 05:16 PM

Just shake off his words. You are doing a great job and should be pround of yourself. His insensitive comment was a direct reflection of him, not of you!

If it helps...we could all list some one liners to zing back at him! Or visualize accidentally kicking him in the you know whats!

gray eyed girl 07-22-2005 12:11 AM

Thanks, everyone. There actually was another woman with my name who used to work for this company, and she was very thin. Too thin, really, as far as I can remember. I have been telling myself over and over that he phrased it that way because that was the identifying characteristic he remembered about her, and not because he was indirectly calling me fat. Still, it really hurt. I wish people would THINK before speaking. It'd save a lot of hurt feelings.

cadwell125 07-22-2005 07:20 AM

Originally Posted by :
If it helps...we could all list some one liners to zing back at him! Or visualize accidentally kicking him in the you know whats!

ooohh fun!

(blank stare) "yeah... i ate her." (guy stands there looking confused) (eyes roll)

people are so dumb. a lady serving lunch at my church one day scooped a grip of extra meat on my plate one day, saying, "you need more meat for the baby." if i wasn't a pastor's wife, oh my, what i would have said!

Burgie 07-22-2005 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by cadwell125:
ooohh fun!

(blank stare) "yeah... i ate her." (guy stands there looking confused) (eyes roll)


Good one!! :lol:

ajandpj99 07-22-2005 11:37 AM

Back in 1990 - I was working retail and at the time weighed about 180 - I was a size 14 or 16 at the most. And a woman going through the check out - total stranger - asked me when I was due - I just looked at her and said - oh about 15 years - looked down and the dress I had on had a ruffle thing around the waist, but it hardly made me look pregnant - I never wore that dress again by the way and would kill to be able to wear it today.

mom of 3 07-22-2005 03:53 PM

What a total creep! Well it sounds like you are now getting past it. I like cadwell125 and burgie's ideas too! :lol:

I was always thin until after I had my third child and then I just started packing on the pounds. One day at my kid's school carnival another mom that I had known since high school asked me when I was due. I think it was more painfull and embarrassing to her at that point :lol: . I also had people that would come in to where I was working at the time and ask that. Sad thing is that I was far thinner then than I am now!! Oh well, I'm on my way back!

You keep going, you are doing great!!!

maggie2005 07-22-2005 03:54 PM

You know, it amazes me the discrimination that heavier people have to put up with in this world. I've had a few situations in life that really left me dumbfounded that people can be so cruel. I just remind myself that I am so much more than what my body looks like. My heart is so much kinder than a person like that! I will take what I have, body and all, over what a person like that has any day!!!
A big hug to you!!!!!!!!

MistyDreamer 07-30-2005 12:39 PM

This happened to me last year while precepting as part of my nursing degree. I was working in the ER, taking care of a 30ish male with body odor and very few teeth that was in for chest pain. As the tech and I were transporting him to his room, he says to the tech ( a young guy) "I hope my nurse on the floor will be thin and sexy, I hate fat women". Then he looks at me and says "No offense". NO OFFENSE!!! The poor tech turned red as a beet, he didn't know what to say. The best part of the trip was reporting off to his new nurse-- a male nurse! I guess no matter what you can never fully avoid the jerks of this world. Personally I think they should come with warnings from the Surgeon General --- this person can be obnoxious and damaging to your morale. Approach with caution!!

Zapphire 07-30-2005 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by :
The best part of the trip was reporting off to his new nurse-- a male nurse!

:lol: :cp: Whoo...Was that on purpose?Or was that Karma? :devil:

BrokenButterfly 07-30-2005 05:26 PM

I was serving a lady one day in the store (I work at a PLUS SIZE store), and she was thin, obviously looking for a present for someone else, in a size 1X, which is about an 18-20. Now...she picks something up, sees the size on it is 5X and says "There are actually people that big?" I was floored. Im one of those people that take that 5X. And she looked at me after she said that with a really kinda smug expression, like daring me to say something about her. I couldn't believe it. I hate people like that.

I've also had to deal with alot of men in the store coming in looking for something for their wife, and having no idea what size she is. They say "Well..she's big...but not as big as you" I mean, it hurts but I gotta let it roll off my back sometimes. If I told off everyone like that, Id be um....fired.

RachelleS 07-30-2005 07:36 PM

I can't count on one hand the number of people that have asked me when I'm due - I carry my weight in my stomach and middle part and have thinner arms and legs - the first time, I was 20 and newly married and a guy at the CA state fair running a ride pulled my hubby aside and told them pregnant women couldn't ride that particular ride . . . hubby came back but didn't say a word . . . I kept hounding him until he finally told me. The last time it happened was about a year ago - my husband told me to tell the next person who asked me that yeah, I was pregnant with twins and one didn't come out and that my baby is nine years old. ;) I had a hysterectomy in December and I'm DREADING the next person who asks - especially since I am one of the lucky ones who has the "swelly belly" and even after 7 months, it can still expand four more inches without any weight gain.

This wrestling season, I received a letter in the mail from one of the moms - I have no idea who it is (well kinda but not for sure):

"Dear Rochell:

I wanted to bring this to your attention as an anonymous friend.
I saw last weekend at the wrestling tournament and wanted to pass on to you what some of us gals thought about one of your outfits.
The bib overalls do not flatter your figure whatsoever. They only accentuate your large tummy. We heard some very cruel remarks from some of the men, so just thought you might want to know what is being said behind your back.
Please don't take this the wrong way, we just wanted you to know that those bibs are not the most flattering thing to wear.

Friends"

So, yes there are some people out there that do not mean to be cruel . . . then you have people like this that are just plain nasty.

Rachelle

MistyDreamer 07-30-2005 07:39 PM

It was true karma!

Mistaken 07-30-2005 08:46 PM

That's bad, but what about ...
 
:mad: That's upsetting. I can't even imagine how I'd feel! *hugs* On the other side of the coin though, who else hates it when they're on a diet and people are constantly saying "oh you're not heavy!".."come on! that's stupid!" "eat this! just have one piece of cake, it won't kill you." And blah-blah-blah about how women always think they're fat and that we're all nuts.

I don't know how much more I can take.

- M


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