You know what Ive done it Ive gone off won lost my battles and while in the midst I would see some skinny thing and start to think to myself im never going to look like that , Im never going to have that body. And there I would go off to Pizza Hut drive thru and eat because darn it I whats the point.
Ive been heavy since I can remember. Ive gone thru the lets make fun of the fat girl and even while Im a grown up to still have kids yelling smart little fat comments at me and all the while my son feeling low because the kids are making fun of his mom. And maybe a couple men who got thru my radar and used me for a fun couple of nights. Ive done all that.
Ive lost and gained and lost and gained I cant tell you how many times.
But this time I know its diffrent this time im doing it the right way.
This time im putting myself first and this time im not letting anyone or anything take me down and make me give in and give up.
Its not that you cant lose the weight. Are you allowing yourself the time and are you doing what needs to be done. When tough times happen do you plow thru them or tell yourself this time wont hurt.
This is one of the hardest things that I have had to do.
And I find it a little funny to say that because putting myself first should be easy. But when your a mom and a wife that changes your priorites.
Believe me theres times I will catch those corner looks that my husband gives to a more attractive women and it hurts , but hes a male and they can be butt heads some times. And of course those blond buxom babes who sport the thong that you just want to give her a wedgie from you know where.
Its tough . Theres crying spells but Im not running to the car and to a drive thru or to the refriderator. Im hitting the husband and telling him I caught you looking when im sitting here with you, Im hitting the gym in efforts to get into a bikini and walk along side those other women.
Ive been working on this change of my life for quite some time. First I started with my eating habits. And not until this Year January have i hit the gym full force. It has taken quite a bit of time for me to get to where I am and i have a long way to go. But time is going by and its not making me any younger. So I have to do this now while I can enjoy and while im still alive to do it. Because at the rate I was going I would surely be dead.
We all have our bad days. And althou some are not posted to often believe me they happen. And Im sorry your hitting one today. But it will pass. And its alright. As much as I have lost so far , Ive also had those days that I felt like I let loose a little to much. Tommorow is another day to get back on the saddle and squeeze the reins as tight as you can and hold on. Hold on as hard and as long as you can. Dont give up. Dont give in.
I hope your day ends on a good note. You desearve good notes