... that most overweight people I know are afraid of food? Well, I can only speak for myself but... I've been trying to figure out how many calories I should be eating and how much should be carbs and how much should be protein and yadda yadda yadda. But here it is, nearly 2 in the afternoon and I've had a total of around 900 calories.

Now I KNOW, from doing research and talking to folks on this board and just the general knowledge I've gleaned over the past few years, that I could and should eat close to a thousand more calories today to encourage slow, healthy weight loss. Even if I were to be aiming for 1600 a day (and I'm beginning to think that's too low, btw), I'd have like 700 calories left. But when I went to FitDay and saw that 900 number, I panicked. I reverted to my old "the only way to lose weight is to starve yourself" mode and started trying to figure out how to survive the rest of the day on only 100 more calories. I looked back over what I ate and tried to see where I could have eaten less and started that old thinking "man, how could you have eaten so much already...you big fat loser." When all I really had was some fruit, a yogurt, some lean pork and fresh beets with a pat of butter. Certainly not a food orgy.

I know now that my fear of eating can sabatoge my weight-loss efforts and cause me to hold on to this extra weight just as surely as my out-of-control and thoughtless eating got me here in the first place.

Luckily, and due in large part to the support and advice I've gotten here over the past few days, I stopped that negative thinking and assured myself that food is an essential part of living and that it can be healthy. I've always been one to celebrate food, and I think that I couldn't stick to many programs in the past because they required me to turn food into an enemy.

Well, no more. I know now that in order for me to work this new lifestyle and grow (not to mention "shrink") from it, I have to be able to embrace food and all of its delightful nuances; distinguish healthful choices from unhealthful; rejoice in making the right choice; savor the "bad" choices I make but recognize them and try to avoid them in the future; choose not to waste precious calories on stuff that doesn't make my body and / or soul feel good. Eating healthfully is about balance, giving all kinds of foods their rightful place and due respect; it's about careful, THOUGHT-FULL eating. Caring about what I need and giving it to myself. My excess weight is the result of not feeding myself well, not nurturing myself, not ...caring ...enough ...about ...me. Food is not my enemy; APATHY is.

Can I just say that I'm really loving your posts? I'm glad you found us here, you're really giving me a lot to think about and a lot of inspiration. So thanks .

I have had the same thing happen on some days. So far today I've only had 400 calories, BUT I haven't had lunch yet and I usually snack in the afternoon. I'm sure I'll stay at around 1500 today but I know that panicked "oh my gosh how could I have eaten all this already!" feeling and it's hard. I think for a lot of overweight people, it's an addiction. Either to the tastes and sensations of eating, or to the emotional ties to eating. And even if it's not an addiction, it's a long-time habit that's hard to break. I believe that addiction to food (or sugar, or chocolate, or whatever sub-category is one's own weakness) is one of the hardest addictions to break, because you can't just STOP eating. If someone has the willpower and determination, they CAN go cold-turkey with, say, cigarettes. It's extremely hard, but it can be done and I've seen a couple of friends do just that. But you can't go cold-turkey with eating, which makes it a big challenge to learn to eat RIGHT.

I'm a big foodie, just like you. I LOVE food. I love to cook, I love strong intense flavors. I love cranberries and sun-dried tomatoes and roasted green chile. I love cheese and chocolate. It's impossible for me to just give up the foods I like, because I love food, period. You're absolutely right, it's about being careful and thinking about what you eat. I am happy to have a square or two of chocolate every day. I want it, I am thinking ahead and planning for it calorie-wise, and it's a nice treat that keeps me from a binge.

Ack, the dreaded feeling of logging calories intake and telling to oneself "OMG I ate THAT much today? Must not eat anymore before tomorrow, then!" :| I hate it. And 900 calories isn't that much, even - there's still room for a nice dinner and a fruit for snacking, or something similar, if planned with even the slightest care - but it's just... these numbers! They're *haunting*!

By the way, I've read your other posts... very insightful! Wouldn't you plan on keeping a blog with all of this, by chance?

The exact same thing happened to me today after lunch. I added everything up and it certainly didn't feel as though I had eaten nearly 1000 calories. I hate feeling hungry AND feeling like I've already eaten a ton of calories.
Anyway, it is very hard to get out of the 1200 cal-a-day mentality. I've tried it and it leaves me grumpy, sleepy, dopey.. and fat!

Hey Quite a handful... you are quite insightful.. 2nd time today you have inspired me.. looking forward to more of your wisdom!

Your posts kick all kinds of ***.

The one thing I have got control of is overeating. But I'll tell you I had to go around, not through, that problem. The way i dealt with is was totally re-learning how to cook and shop. I realized that my food calories were like money- the object is to get as much as you can, but never at the expense of quality. Therefore, I need to spend the calories wisely, and only on things that are worth eating but *also* would keep me from feeling like I was being deprived of flavor. So first I had to figure out how to budget healthy food without ruining our weekly grocery bill. The I learned how to cook new things, and experimented with herbs. So now we eat less, but the quality, taste, and nutrients of our food is better. It took me about a year to make the total transition, and a lot of web surfing looking for food ideas and recipes that weren't complicated or expensive, but healthy. I also got a small food scale, it's invaluable.

My problem really isn't food, it's writing down what I eat- that still needs to be catalogued until I can go on autopilot. Excercise is my main demon when it comes to weight loss. I like lifting weights, but i quite literally hate cardio of any sort.