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Old 06-10-2005, 07:05 PM   #1  
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Default Motiviation? Prasing? or Love?

When losing weight, we all need motivation and once in a while "Hey good job" or "you look great!". Without all those kind words, it's hard, because you feel stuck and ask yourself why your doing this. I never really had support from my own parents, it was constant nagging, comparing me to people who had lost weight and pathetic remarks. Of course that got me down, I was never normal in weight for my age, and it finally hit me when the doctor made a comment about my weight. I guess I'm not your typical teenager, I'm 16, I weight 190 lbs, I'm 5"4, military brat, even in all areas (totally proportional), loving boyfriend, and me. If it wasn't for the three people in my life currently, I wouldn't even had bothered losing five pounds I already have. I've lost confidence at one time, lost the attitude and most of all was depressed, and I've decided to quit of all that and make myself feel better! All I'm asking for is motivation, priase and love. Good luck to everybody and keep up the good work!

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Old 06-10-2005, 11:25 PM   #2  
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Hey there!

I just wanted to say hi and welcome... Im pretty new here too, but so far I really like it here Good luck on your journey! I have found that when Im trying to get healthy instead of skinny I tend to look at things diffrently and Im more successful. Dont give up!! And do this for YOU and not anyone else!! Im sure you have come to the right place for the motivation, praise and love you are looking for!

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Old 06-11-2005, 09:19 AM   #3  
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Originally Posted by Butterflies1004
I never really had support from my own parents, it was constant nagging, comparing me to people who had lost weight and pathetic remarks. Of course that got me down
Truly sad are the parents who don't realize the harm they do to their children with this type of behavior. Easier said than done, I know - I ended up moving away from my parents as an adult to escape it because I couldn't do it myself, but perhaps you could try and have a heart-to-heart with them about how they're making you feel and how such feelings won't be conducive to your emotional health as an adult either if it continues.
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Old 06-11-2005, 11:03 AM   #4  
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Hey there

I am also sorry to hear that you don't get the support you crave -- it IS hard to keep going sometimes when those around you continue to be critical.

Good for you for coming to the board; we can be your support group, and in turn you can offer support to others. That can be a huge factor in keeping going.

Still, I want to offer you this: Trying to lose weight to please other people, to gain or regain their praise and love, never works in the long run. If that's your "motivation" then it will always fail you sooner or later. You have to do this because YOU love you, because you want to be the healthiest person you can be, because YOU want to. At your age I know that a lot of what you do or don't do can be to please your parents or to fall in with a boyfriend's or friends expectation, so you're not alone in that by any means. But, part of growing up is understanding that the only real motivation for doing ANYTHING has to come from within.

So, don't give up simply because those around you aren't helpful and aren't in the game with you. That's OK, that's their problem and their loss. You keep working on developing a healthy, balanced lifestyle that will let your body be whatever its meant to be in a healthy way.

I would also recommend you visit the library and pick up a copy of the book Fattitudes. There is a chapter written specifically for the loved ones of the person trying to lose weight. Perhaps reading it would give you some ideas on talking to your parents, or you could even give it to them to read.

Good luck, and just keep trying. You don't want to spend the next 20 or 30 years struggling with weight issues. Do it NOW, for the life you want to lead in the future.

Last edited by funniegrrl; 06-11-2005 at 11:08 AM.
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Old 06-11-2005, 11:15 AM   #5  
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I agree with the people above. Weight loss HAS to be about YOU and YOUR desires for youself. If you do it for other people, (their desires or even their reactions to your change) failure is almost always inevitable.

My desire is to be healthy and feel good. Everytime I hit a goal I feel re-energized, motivated. Make a list of the thinsg YOU want to accomplish, a set of goals you can obtain along the way. Fitting into smaller jeans, being able to do more, doing something you can't or don't feel comfortable doing now....make these goals your motivation and the thrill of meeting them your reward. It will be soooo much easier this way.
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Old 06-11-2005, 12:14 PM   #6  
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Thank you everyone for the kind words, but please don't get a misconception of who I am, what I look like, my loved ones, and my boyfriend. My mom's a stereotypical Korean mom, my dad's an old fashoined (less emotional) african american dad, and I have a boyfriend whose Japanese. This is quite diverse. Plus, my parents don't tell me I'm fat blah blah blah like other horrible parents do, it's the sarcasm.

Yes, I'm doing this for myself, but when people look at me they would never assume I'm that heavy, I carry my weight so well that I look great, but I don't want to be another teen statistic in America.

Keep up the good work everybody!
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