Hello: This is my first time here. My name, MOB, stands for Mother of the Bride, as my daughter is getting married in September. Here is my problem--my son got married in January and prior to that I went on a diet and exercise program. I walked on a daily basis, and while I didn't follow a strict diet, I was eating more healthy. I lost 35 pounds, felt great, and got a ton of compliments. (Did I mention I have more than 100 pounds to lose?) To make a long story long, since my son's wedding I have regained 20 pounds, and show no signs of letting up. My eating is out of control--today I had 4 doughnuts, 1/2 gallon ice cream, Doritos, candy, etc. You get the picture. And there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. I have continued to walk, but I just can't seem to break out of this destructive eating pattern. Every day starts with new promises and resolve, only to fall by the wayside. I know that if I can get back on track, I can be be successful again, but I just can't break this cycle. Any suggestions?

That happens to me quite a bit too but you just have to stop saying "I'll start tommorow" and instead say "I'll start right now". Even if you already ate alot, the day isn't wasted, you can still make healthy choices the rest of the day. But what really works is just don't have junk food in the house, it's not as tempting to eat it if you have to walk to the store to buy it!

I hope that I am not assuming too much here.

Maybe you are stressed with the upcoming wedding. This is a lot of stress. And maybe you would like to look really great at your daughters wedding. and you are putting extra stress on yourself to lose weight for the wedding in a hurry. Maybe this is backfiring on you because when you get stressed out you eat. Maybe you feel hopeless or discouraged because you have a large amount to lose and you want it to be tomorrow that it is gone? I don't know? But I do agree with the above post. You cannot keep putting off until tomorrow. For me the tomorrows kept turning into more and that was two years ago. And you have to make your surroundings safe get rid of the junk so it doesn't tempt you. It isn't really about wanting to lose weight. We all want to. It is about changing whatever you have to so you don't have the obstacles in your way. and making sure you are 100% ready to lose weight, not because you feel the pressure to do so but because you have found peace within yourself that will allow you to make the changes you have to make.

I hope this helps. I hope you are able to get a handle on this. I know probably most on these boards have felt like you do at one time or another. I definately have. Soooo many times. I have had to do a lot of soul searching.

Take Care and I hope things get better. You are a good person no matter what. You just have to decide what you really want for YOU

I'm sorry I was so rude and just started

Welcome. There are a lot of really nice people here and a lot of support. I hope to see you here a lot posting so we know how you are doing.

Have a great weekend.

MOB, I know how you feel. I had lost some weight last fall, even made it through Thanksgiving, but towards Christmas, I started to succumb to the temptations coming my way. I told myself I'd get back on the wagon after the holidays, but it didn't happen and I felt very out of control. This week I have managed to stay on program since Monday and I have to keep reminding myself of the serious reasons I must stay on it (I have more than 100 lbs to lose). One of the motivations is a doctor's appt. next week. I don't want to weigh in at more than I did the last time. I'm hoping that I will be able to keep going after that.
My guess is that you felt relief at having lost the weight before your son's wedding and you relaxed a little bit and let your guard down. Now you are stressed because you have another big event coming up and you want to make a good show at it. That may be part of the underlying tension that's causing you to eat.
It's hard to stop a binge, but not impossible. Maybe you could try setting a date for a "firebreak," that is doing a liquid fast for a whole day to contain the binge and lose the bloated feeling. Then discard all the junk food and make a plan you can stick to, setting small goals. Find a thread here that you feel compatible with and keep posting. Everyone here understands what you are experiencing and is very supportive.
In the meantime, keep on with the walking and remember that you are still down 15 lbs.

Thanks for all of your words of wisdom. I think it is so easy to get focused on yourself and let your problems become the center of the universe that you forget that you are not the only one who deals with weight issues on a daily basis. As I think back, when I initially started, I didn't necessarily limit any foods, but just tried to get 5 fruits and vegetables in a day. I didn't even count candy corn as a vegetable!! lol This kind of blossomed into eating less and eating more healthy foods. You also helped me remember that I did have days when I ate more than I should have--but I just shrugged it off and kept on going. Something I hadn't ever done before. I think that is what I will try to focus on for the time being. Thanks so much!

Hi MOB, first thing, don't stress out or guilt yourself too much for the wedding: 20 pounds is perfectly doable by September, and probably even some more

Getting rid of all junk food in your house is a pretty good thing to do (especially if the nearest shop is a bit far, suddenly it's not so tempting anymore when it's not right under the hand!), but it doesn't stop the "frustration" feeling, or the stress, if this is what makes you feel like eating. Is there a way for you perhaps to do something completely different when you're tempted to eat? If you have the time or the opportunity to do so, perhaps you can go have a walk in a place where there aren't any stores nor temptations, run a bath, go to a gym, or anything that isn't compatible with the activity of eating? I've found out that it can work wonders, as by doing so my focus is less on the food and more on the activity. Maybe it can work for you as well?

In any case, I hope that things will soon improve for you, and that you can "get back on track"

I would like to mention something that has not been mentioned as of yet. There are many forms of eating disorders-anorexia and bulimia are the ones that most people think of when that term is used though. BUT-one of the most common ones is a compulsive overeating disorder. I have it-and have been trying to overcome it for a few years now.
I have done it since I was a child-and it is different than just "munching" too much when you are bored or stressed. It involves extreme binging (like half a box of cookies, a pint of ice cream, 2 donuts, and a bagel or two IN ONE SITTING.)
It rears its head the most under stressful times. The feeling for me is an addiction like I can only imagine an alcaholic would feel who wants a drink-or someone trying to quit smoking would feel.
It is a sudden compulisive feeling-I can go for days, weeks, and months without binging and do great losing weight or exercising-and all of a sudden it will come from nowhere.
Do you feel like this could possibly be you? I have to say that this is different from most people overeating and going off plan-too much pizza at dinner, or nibbling on the cookies they are baking for their kids. It is a total loss of control.
Is this the main reason you think that you may have a weight problem in the first place? Have you done this at other times in your life and it attributed to your weight gain? You may have been doing well and then the stress right now could be giving you a relapse.
If you would like to talk more about it and steps you can take to help-let me know. There is an eating disorder support forum here at 3FC and local "Overeaters Anonymous" in many areas for support. (They are set up similar to Alcaholics Anonymous.)
If you think it is just regular overeating-that is one thing-but the way you described it set off the bells and whistles for me.
Take Care,
Aphil

That was my thought, too. It can't be easy trying to help plan a wedding, let alone two of them in one year. I, too, overeat when I'm under stress; sometimes, when the stress is severe, I'm not even aware that I've picked up food and started eating until I'm standing there staring in surprise at the empty bowl, plate, or wrapper. If stress is causing your binges, maybe it'd be helpful to try to figure out what's bothering you and just deal with it directly. If it's the wedding, maybe you need to delegate some of the wedding details back to your daughter or else ask her to simplify the whole ceremony. Just a thought, anyway.

Hello! Sorry it took me so long to answer--I had company all weekend and babysat for my wonderful grandaughter, too! I have been doing some thinking about what you have all said. I don't think I am really stressed about the wedding--yet--because this is something that I really enjoy doing. In fact, it is a welcome distraction. Work has been really stressful, but I don't even think it is that. When I look back, I had worked hard and lost weight for my son's wedding. Yet, when I saw the pictures, I thought, "Who is that old woman?" It took me a moment to realize it was me. In the back of my mind I think that I feel I have spent the best years of my life being overweight, and despite anything that I might do, I will always be overweight. Then I fell back into my old patterns. And yes, I do eat obssessively, compulsively at times without any sense of ever being full or getting sick--I could eat everything indefinitely. And it does tend to sneak up on me and is triggered by who knows what. The good news is is that I feel I am slowly coming around. I have remained faithful to walking, and my eating has improved somewhat. I still am not where I need to be, but the desperation seems to be abating. Thanks for all your help.

As a mother and a wife. I would binge at times to , It was always something to do with something stressfull that I was going thru or something that happened to me that I would never say anything to the person that it bothered me from. I would hold it inside and go run to the pizza place and down some pizza and I thought ahhh that makes me feel better but then afterwards I felt awful.
I have then since exspressed when something was bothering me and what led up to my feelings being hurt or what led up to me being angy for whatever reason to the person that it bothered me from.
And I learned that no matter what I come first. If im not healthy I can not take care of my family. And I also learned that my body can only do so much if im tired to bad the dishes and the laundry are not going to get done instead im going to work out then im going to rest. But I come first.
And when people try to tempt me I always say thank you im so full I couldnt eat any.
Because it does happen some one will say lets go out and get this im having a bad day and they want someone to share in their sorrow. I always suggest going our for a walk or say that I cant go.
You have to take yourself out of the situation that you know you will lose control and succumb to.
I know I cant have bread and pizza and candy and chips and pop. So I always stay far away.
If you find that your about to grab those things put something on it like hotsauce or something off the wall you know you wont eat or just plain throw it in the garbage quickly after you do this a bunch of times it gets easier to pass on by something you know you shouldnt have.
Give your self on meal a week and have that food you have been thinking about , have it in moderation and you will not feel cheated or deprived.
Destress your life. Thats all you can do to try and get the stress out of your life.
Dont let slip ups in any way discourage you its only a hill that you will get over, these are what we all go thru it happens.