[fotojunkie]

When I Was a "Big Girl"

When I was a big girl I was invisible.
People looked right through me,
Never saw me.
They never noticed that I was smart,
and witty,
and had a good heart.
All they saw was a waistline
That didn't measure up to the standards
Of a society that rates your worth
By numbers on a scale.
Then I wasn't a big girl anymore,
And suddenly I was thrust from the shadows.
Suddenly I was "beautiful."
Funny,
I was still smart,
and witty,
and had a good heart.
Wasn't I beautiful before?

[maat]

Lovely...You put on words what I feel, the society doesn't look for our personality, if you have extra weight you don't even appear to exist...wtg


kisses
maat

[fotojunkie]

I agree. We are an invisible population. We are often discriminated against and criticized for how we look. People act as if we became overweight on purpose or want to be that way. We are a very misunderstood people. I was on medication and under extreme stress with a horrible marriage when I started to gain.

I had put on about 30 pounds when people stopped seeing me. I have an IQ of 211 and am your classic overachiever, but no one saw me anymore. They would say, "You have such a pretty face! If only you would lose a little weight." Hey! I DO have feelings! This extra padding doesn't make me emotionally numb! As if I asked to be this way! And a pretty face will get you only so far. I hooked up with a speaker's bureau through my college (I was a non-trad, 31 years old) and started speaking to groups throughout the northwest on domestic violence. I found a home there. People listened to me and respected me, but outside of that little bubble is was nothing, a nothing whose ever increasing girth was making her even more of a "non-person."

I got my great awakening in August 2003. I wrote about it here in the Success Forum under Wake-Up Call. You may want to check it out.

I hope other people here will post writings and reflections about how they feel. I think this could be a useful and theraputic tool for healing and inspiration for forging ahead and engaging in a healthy lifestyle.

I used to have a T-shirt that I made that said, "Would you be more attracted to me if my IQ bounced gently as I walk down the stairs?" Maybe I'll dig it out - or create another one...