Do all guys go for skinny women?
 

In my school, everyone that has a boyfriend is stick thin. All of the people that ACCUALLY eat, the guys dont pay any attention to. I was just wondering if this is just in my school or in other places too.

I wonder that too right now, and feel that way a lot. Unfortunatly, at the moment I really really like this amazing guy who is stick thin. He lives about 3 hours away from me, (we met online), but I met him irl recently, and trust me, he is AMAZING. We get along so well, and we both really enjoy spending time together.

I just worry a lot that he might not like me in the same way because he has a lot of girls that are friends that are pretty and thin. =/

I'm happy in my own skin, and im working on losing weight to be healthy and active.

Any other thoughts from people on this issue? ^^;;

My husband isn't in too the whole "stick thin" thing... he doesn't like to see ribs and bony knees and stuff. He said he likes a little bit of cushion. Of course I have a lot of cushion right now!

We got together right after high school and I was about 160... maybe a little more and he liked where I was then. He is okay with me now, but he would like me to lose weight just so I can be happier and so I will want to go jet skiing with him. So it isn't all guys.

In high school, a lot of guys think they HAVE to go after the skinny girls or get made fun of. By the time they get in college, they start thinking for themselves more.

I am fortunate that my DH is the kind that likes women with a little meat on their bones, and just about all the girls he ever dated were a little bit chubby. Due to a lot of reasons, I went a little overboard on the weight thing, lol, and am now taking the pounds back off, lol.

So don't give up - any guy who is worth having will want you for who you are, not what you weigh.

No, I don't know any guys who actually like stick insect women.

Oh, dear. I know how hard high school can be, especially if you're not one of the "beautiful" people. I know I wasn't. The funny thing is I was about 140 my jr. and sr. years, and I thought I was too fat. You know how much I want to be that weight now?! lol~ :lol: I did have one boyfriend briefly my senior year. He was just as angst-ridden as I was. My point is, I think part of the reason I didn't date a lot in high school wasn't my weight, it was how I thought other people perceived my weight. I had low self-esteem and projected that by having an attitude and a sarcastic and self-depricating sense of humor. :devil: If I had truly stopped caring what others thought or worrying about how I should be instead of appreciating how I was, I think I would have attracted more people. ;)

Also, as someone mentioned before, I think boys (ahem, I mean young men) are so self-concious themselves, and are more into popularity and doing what they think their group wants them to do, they sometimes ignore what they truly want. :?: This is no reflection on you, your body, or who you are as a person. We all have room for improvement and with that said, you're as perfect as you can be, just as you are. :goodvibes

My boyfriend now is supportive of my efforts to lose weight, but would love me just the same if I were just a head in a cardboard box! :D

I'm just curious, what did most of you weigh when you got a long term boyfriend or engaged?

ie. Did you weigh a lot before, or was it gaineid afterwards ^^;

Thanks!

Personally, I think it has a whole lot more to do with personality and how you carry yourself than anything. I was between 185 and 200 from the time I met my husband up through our first 2 years of marriage. Not only did it not have a bearing on our relationship (except for my own personal issues with it), it has also never had a bearing on the number of guy friends I have - and there are a LOT!

Yes, I get treated differently by strangers now, but the people who know me don't like me more or less because of how much I weigh.

i hang out with all guys......seriously i have one friend that is female, I often tease them about liking boney girls, but most of them say they prefer girls with a little meat on their bones of course their perception of a "thick" girl may be different form a females perception........ And i did notice that in high school guys cared more about being with skinnier girls because it made them look cool to their friends, most grow out of that stage and start looking for a girl that has a good personality, that makes them laugh and that they actually like and not just to look at....... the question about serious boyfriends or husbands....... I was heavy when i met and fell in love with my guy and i am still that way, but getting smaller everyday.... I knew I didnt have to lose weight for him because he loves me (all of me!) but i am doing it to be healthy and to be happier in my skin.

Alexisa=When I got engaged and married I weighed about 110-114. My husband and I married in our teens, he was 17 and I was 18. We have been married for 27 years and the more we are together the closer we become. I have gone from 114 on my wedding day to my highest weight of 215.5, and he loved me no matter what my size, like wise when we got married he weighed, if memory serves me correctly, about 128 and now weighs 242, and I still love him. There is more to us than body size and a number on a scale. A lot of the boys in high school are very shallow and most of those relationships don't last anyway. If you want to get a kick out of something=in the future go to your high school reunion=this is the best! Most of the skinny girls will no longer be skinny, some will have had a at least a couple of marriages, the cool guys have bellies and are going bald-I am serious! And you will look at some of these people and say, "What was it about them that I admired?" Anyway GOd has someone out there for you, someone who will value you for who you are and not what you weigh. God BLess You.

Well when i met my husband i was going through dialysis and was swollen and just yucky i weighed around 150 so I was bout the same...

I hope not sweetie!! otherwise I'm screwed! :lol:
Nah, I don't think all guys are like that, I know alot of guys who have bigger beautiful women as their partners, and I think they are just the cutest couples!

Jana's right, it's just an image thing. It didn't hold true in my high school at all, plenty of big girls were dating, but I also went to a high school that was mostly black & Mexican, and those two cultures don't embrace the white idea of beauty! (By & large, anyway.) I actually only had one boyfriend in high school, but had it on the authority of my (male) best friend that I intimidated the **** out of the guys in high school 'cause I was too smart and seen as sort of a ball-buster. :lol:

I'm not sure how much I weighed when I met my husband, but I'm pretty sure I weighed more then than I do now, since then I was a size 18/20 & now I'm about a size 16. He's another who always dated the chubbier girls. He was attracted to me, he says, by my way of carrying myself--my confidence, in other words. My attitude. You know, the exact same thing that scared off the high school boys!

My husband works 100% with other men, and I have seen the other boat wives at picnics & such. I cannot tell you whether it's postwedding weight or not, but there's not one single stick thin woman there. Of course, there's no one incredibly obese, either. It's sort of a happy medium, with most women being probably like myself, about 20 or 30 pounds overweight.

I'll tell you another thing. The men I know who concentrate on looks when choosing their women...They're not a happy bunch. There are still some guys off dh's boat who are really young and looking for supermodels to date, and they're limiting their pool too much, so they're apparently not finding women enough like them for them to be happy.

Just to update you guys a little *big grin on her face*

I finnally got it out of him, it took a little soul revealing on my part but we have both admitted that we really really like each other and that the only thing standing in our way is the distance.

So we decided just to see how things go from here. =D

I'm sooo happy. ^^

And in case anyone is curious, he is 19 and i'm almost 21... And we met for the first time IRL a week ago. ^_^

~Alex

Alex: yah!!!

I think for me it's a confidence thing... I had guys hit on me when I was large and dismissed it thinking it was a joke... I realize now I wasn't as ugly as I thought I was... I have great eyes and a great smile... neither change with my weight... I have had plenty of girl friends who have started dating guys when they were headed into plus sized territory. It's all about attitude.

Cheers!

Ali

I think that a lot of younger guys think that they "want" skinny stick insects because that's what the media tells them what they want. Some will persevere with this shallow way of choosing a mate, but many blokes will learn that there are other qualities much more important than those that only go skin deep. Some girls, however, are able to break past those stereotypes and be popular anyway. I worked with this awesome, lovely girl named Bree who EVERYBODY loved because she was just such a darling! She was a bigger girl, and yet she'd landed a very spunky young man (they'd been dating since highschool) who loved her because she was confident and had an unreal personality!

As mentioned before, any man who doesn't want you because of your weight doesn't deserve your attentions because of his own lack of integrity!

men have the same problem girls don't want date fat men
glen

I'd personally rather have a bigger man.

I also think that most men become less interested in superficial aspects of a woman as they (the men) get older. Hmmmm.....maybe that's why I'm so attracted to 40-ish-year-olds..... :devil:

I also agree w/everyone here who has said that it's more in how you present yourself than necessarily what you weigh. One of my good friends in college taught me basically that same thing. She said "it doesn't matter what you look like, it matters how you act when you're around them." Words to live by!!

Hey glen, just to let you know my personal opinion, i prefer BIG men, I like to feel protected and warm and i love to cuddle with the guys I call "teddy bears" ...... my boyfriend is a big guy and I wouldnt want it any other way.... He also is on this journey of weight loss with me and though I know its healthier to be thinner I have let him know that i dont want him to lose too much weight, most of the girls i know would much rather be with a man who wont blow away when a strong wind blows.... :)

ahhh i see what you are saying.. im currently going into my senior year of high school... now im no skinny petite girl... im 5'6 140lbs and i gots boobs and *** and i have such self-esteem issues... i tend to get alot of attention from guys but i still see myself as being fat or w/e.... so im a pretty meaty girl so guys dont go after the stick girls ive talked to guys and guys want girls with curves and hips and "somethin to grab onto" and if you come off as being confident and everything then you'll blow em all away

I think it depends on the guy, and how old they are. In high school it's all an image thing, popularity is important, and people do pretty much whatever they can to be popular. At my highschool there was probably 10 girls who were over 200 pounds, a few of them were "popular", and it all came down to their attitude. Luckily I never had time to date in highschool, so I didn't really have to deal with that kind of stuff.
When I met my boyfriend I was "thin", like 165 pounds, about a size 10-12. I felt good about my size though, and was fit. Now I'm 247, and my boyfriend loves me for me, and trust me, he could get someone thinner than me. I'm confident that he won't leave me though, but it took me a long time to get to this stage.

I don't think all men go for skinny women, but like some of the others said, at high school age they're probably not mature enough to be different than what's 'expected' by their peers, the media and so on. Once they've grown up a bit, there are a lot of guys who are attracted to curvier women. A lot of men prefer a woman's body to that of a young girl.

It's definitely to do with self confidence though. Unfortunately, not many of us feel confident when we see ourselves as overweight. That will come in time though! Good luck.

school is such a strange place...I remember thinking that I was too fat for a boyfriend and all the gut skinny girls had them...but if you look at the broader picture they have the boys that want them ....and we see what we want to see....as a mother of kids who went through the school system when I was able to look at what they were going through a bit more objectively than when I was participating ..there are a TON of single guys in school that are going through growing up and stressing over perhaps grades, work....want a girlfriend but are shy....do not have hang ups about weight ....and are thinking ..."all the guys I know have girlfriends why don't I?" ...so look around at who is not pared up and maybe it is just you needing to make a move!!!! .....both my boys, my brother and even my husband (before he met me of course) have dated girls of all shapes and sizes have never commented on weight and in fact have really enjoyed going out to eat with someone who loves food!....good luck

Man, that takes me back. I have to agree with everyone who says that boys in high school are conformist mongrels- they're more about impressing their friends than anything. I never dated, but (and of this I am not proud) I helped a football player cheat on his girlfriend, always sneaking around with him but never admitting we even knew eachother in public. Looking back I'm upset with myself because I realise I was just playing into this whole "I'm not good enough to admit being attracted to" thing.. but, that's high school for ya.

It does get better- I dated lots in college, once I was more around "my" people and it wasn't all just about status. Then I moved to Los Angeles thinking I would never date again, but was shocked to find one boyfriend after another (some big guys, some skinner). Of course, I hadn't really lost any weight (I was a size 28 when I got my first boyfriend), but I did have a ton more self-esteem and carried myself well- I really think that makes all the difference, although I know it's frustrating to hear.

I heard a survey that was done on the news and they said the average size of a woman that men prefer to marry is a size 16. I've recently been separated and have had no problem whatsoever meeting guys, and i'm 100 lbs. overweight! I've met my prince charming so I can quit looking....but I could have had a date everynight for months. I agree with other posts....personality...a nice smile...and attitude make all the difference in the world. If you see yourself sexy..you are to others too!!! :)

I post it on another forum here, but here's the summary:
only immature guys, and yeah, hi school has tons of them, go for the size and lbs
a real man would value your personality
of course if it's extreme low or high people would pay more attention, guys too, otherwise, it's about confidence and a person inside