I think that a lot of younger guys think that they "want" skinny stick insects because that's what the media tells them what they want. Some will persevere with this shallow way of choosing a mate, but many blokes will learn that there are other qualities much more important than those that only go skin deep. Some girls, however, are able to break past those stereotypes and be popular anyway. I worked with this awesome, lovely girl named Bree who EVERYBODY loved because she was just such a darling! She was a bigger girl, and yet she'd landed a very spunky young man (they'd been dating since highschool) who loved her because she was confident and had an unreal personality!
As mentioned before, any man who doesn't want you because of your weight doesn't deserve your attentions because of his own lack of integrity!
I also think that most men become less interested in superficial aspects of a woman as they (the men) get older. Hmmmm.....maybe that's why I'm so attracted to 40-ish-year-olds.....
I also agree w/everyone here who has said that it's more in how you present yourself than necessarily what you weigh. One of my good friends in college taught me basically that same thing. She said "it doesn't matter what you look like, it matters how you act when you're around them." Words to live by!!
Hey glen, just to let you know my personal opinion, i prefer BIG men, I like to feel protected and warm and i love to cuddle with the guys I call "teddy bears" ...... my boyfriend is a big guy and I wouldnt want it any other way.... He also is on this journey of weight loss with me and though I know its healthier to be thinner I have let him know that i dont want him to lose too much weight, most of the girls i know would much rather be with a man who wont blow away when a strong wind blows....
ahhh i see what you are saying.. im currently going into my senior year of high school... now im no skinny petite girl... im 5'6 140lbs and i gots boobs and *** and i have such self-esteem issues... i tend to get alot of attention from guys but i still see myself as being fat or w/e.... so im a pretty meaty girl so guys dont go after the stick girls ive talked to guys and guys want girls with curves and hips and "somethin to grab onto" and if you come off as being confident and everything then you'll blow em all away
I think it depends on the guy, and how old they are. In high school it's all an image thing, popularity is important, and people do pretty much whatever they can to be popular. At my highschool there was probably 10 girls who were over 200 pounds, a few of them were "popular", and it all came down to their attitude. Luckily I never had time to date in highschool, so I didn't really have to deal with that kind of stuff.
When I met my boyfriend I was "thin", like 165 pounds, about a size 10-12. I felt good about my size though, and was fit. Now I'm 247, and my boyfriend loves me for me, and trust me, he could get someone thinner than me. I'm confident that he won't leave me though, but it took me a long time to get to this stage.
I don't think all men go for skinny women, but like some of the others said, at high school age they're probably not mature enough to be different than what's 'expected' by their peers, the media and so on. Once they've grown up a bit, there are a lot of guys who are attracted to curvier women. A lot of men prefer a woman's body to that of a young girl.
It's definitely to do with self confidence though. Unfortunately, not many of us feel confident when we see ourselves as overweight. That will come in time though! Good luck.
school is such a strange place...I remember thinking that I was too fat for a boyfriend and all the gut skinny girls had them...but if you look at the broader picture they have the boys that want them ....and we see what we want to see....as a mother of kids who went through the school system when I was able to look at what they were going through a bit more objectively than when I was participating ..there are a TON of single guys in school that are going through growing up and stressing over perhaps grades, work....want a girlfriend but are shy....do not have hang ups about weight ....and are thinking ..."all the guys I know have girlfriends why don't I?" ...so look around at who is not pared up and maybe it is just you needing to make a move!!!! .....both my boys, my brother and even my husband (before he met me of course) have dated girls of all shapes and sizes have never commented on weight and in fact have really enjoyed going out to eat with someone who loves food!....good luck
Man, that takes me back. I have to agree with everyone who says that boys in high school are conformist mongrels- they're more about impressing their friends than anything. I never dated, but (and of this I am not proud) I helped a football player cheat on his girlfriend, always sneaking around with him but never admitting we even knew eachother in public. Looking back I'm upset with myself because I realise I was just playing into this whole "I'm not good enough to admit being attracted to" thing.. but, that's high school for ya.
It does get better- I dated lots in college, once I was more around "my" people and it wasn't all just about status. Then I moved to Los Angeles thinking I would never date again, but was shocked to find one boyfriend after another (some big guys, some skinner). Of course, I hadn't really lost any weight (I was a size 28 when I got my first boyfriend), but I did have a ton more self-esteem and carried myself well- I really think that makes all the difference, although I know it's frustrating to hear.
I heard a survey that was done on the news and they said the average size of a woman that men prefer to marry is a size 16. I've recently been separated and have had no problem whatsoever meeting guys, and i'm 100 lbs. overweight! I've met my prince charming so I can quit looking....but I could have had a date everynight for months. I agree with other posts....personality...a nice smile...and attitude make all the difference in the world. If you see yourself sexy..you are to others too!!!
I post it on another forum here, but here's the summary:
only immature guys, and yeah, hi school has tons of them, go for the size and lbs
a real man would value your personality
of course if it's extreme low or high people would pay more attention, guys too, otherwise, it's about confidence and a person inside
