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Old 12-11-2020, 01:07 AM   #301  
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562...

Once the clock struck 12 last night, I had a snack. So technically yesterday was still ok. Today was ok too but just barely. One half of me is angry because I am not eating what I want. The other half of me is angry because I am still eating too much. I guess I am just going to be an angry dieter. Does this mean I am balanced because both sides are equally grumpy...I'd say LOL but I am tired of this journey.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-11-2020 at 01:08 AM. Reason: 12344.40R
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Old 12-12-2020, 01:23 AM   #302  
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561...

Haven't tallied for the day yet. I am likely over. Will definitely be over calorie wise for the week. I thought about eating less today and then promptly had a very large meal. Sigh. Sunday is the official weigh-in day. I overeat a lot on Sundays because of this. It is throwing my whole week off; I need to figure it out. The sooner the better.

Went walking in the snow today. On the last nice day when I was walking, I passed an older lady who was also walking. She said 'we have to get our walking in before the snow'. I said 'I'll be out walking in it'. LOL- she wasn't expecting that response.

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EDIT: Calorie Overage

Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-13-2020 at 12:10 AM. Reason: 12391.47F
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Old 12-13-2020, 12:09 AM   #303  
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560...

Anything other than a gain tomorrow is a gift. This week was a struggle. My bad days were badder than the goodness of my good days. Used today to try to re-balance myself. Considering joining another gym but there are other things I really should look into first, namely PT for my braces. One thing I was cautioned against was working against my devices. I can tell that I am starting to do that because of some new soreness in my legs.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-13-2020 at 12:09 AM. Reason: 12415.23S
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Old 12-13-2020, 10:52 PM   #304  
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559...

So my weight was the same as last week (one pound above my side bar). Really, really trying to buckle down today. I have been successful so far and just need to make it until bedtime. Still not clear how I can work intermittent fasting back into my schedule. So hungry as it is. I do have in my plan for Tuesday but I will see how hungry I am. I will not hold my breath.

My more immediate problem is snacking just before bed. I've done that for the last four days and has only caused me grief.

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EDIT: Calorie Overage

Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-14-2020 at 11:02 PM. Reason: 12452.37N
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Old 12-14-2020, 11:01 PM   #305  
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558...

I will need to edit yesterday's post as I overate after I posted it. However, it was still a victory. Even though it was above my calorie allotment for the day, it was not so high that the entire week was affected. So far I have done well and my appetite is present but not uncontrollable like the last many days. My tricks to help me stave off my appetite when it is so bad no longer seem to work. I need to find new ones or improve the ones I have. Fingers crossed I make it bedtime with out going overboard. One of my tricks is to wear my elastic belt with the hopes it can tell my brain I am full. Tomorrow, I will tell the story of how I came to posses said belt.

All day, I thought it was Tuesday. I need to back and correct all of my notes from work.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-14-2020 at 11:04 PM. Reason: 12496.44M
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Old 12-16-2020, 02:34 AM   #306  
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557...

The calorie deficit I created today was very small but a deficit nonetheless. So small it will take six years to reach my goal at this rate. On the surface, it sounds awful but considering how long I've been over weight it would be nice to reach my goal.

So here's the story about I how I got my belt. A while ago, I said the story was embarrassing. The better word might be humiliating as know one knew of the problem I was having. Several years ago, I was going skiing for the first time in a long time. None of the ski clothing I had fit. It was a mad scramble to find a jacket and ski pants that were large enough. Women's athletic clothing has body shaming built into the sizing. It all runs very small. Finding a jacket went pretty smoothly. The ski pants though. Oh my- I finally found a pair that I could squeeze into. I thought I was set until I got to the slopes. My ski pants were so tight, I couldn't bend down to get my boots on. If I Ieft them unbuttoned, the zipper would slide down making them far too loose. In desperation, I went to the ski shop to find a solution. I ended up buying the largest men's belt I could find. It is a an elastic belt with a plastic buckle. It solved my problem but I just felt really ashamed for letting my body be in such awful shape. Although today, I use the belt to help me control my appetite. Not sure if that counts as a happy ending- LOL.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-17-2020 at 02:35 AM. Reason: 12570.74T
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Old 12-17-2020, 02:34 AM   #307  
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556...

Ugh! Off the rails again- tomorrow is another day. The scale hasn't seemed to notice. I have been at my posted weight since Sunday.

Yesterday, a local store delivery appeared on my doorstep. It was an item I did not order. So I called the retailer and they would not answer there phone. I tried calling a couple of different locations but none of them would pick up. Then I tried their on-line chat box. I got to the point where it requested my number so they could call me. They did not. I kept at the chat box and it finally spit out an 800 number so I called it. After a few minutes on hold I was able to speak to someone not located on North America. They told me I could keep the item (cheese and sausage set). They also gave me the full name of the person (only an abbreviated name appeared on the ticket). So I Googled the name and found an address. I wrote a note explaining the situation. Then I dropped off on their doorstep. I really hope I made someone's day.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-17-2020 at 02:36 AM. Reason: 12665.95W
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Old 12-17-2020, 09:41 PM   #308  
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555...

I have returned to make another post. That in and of itself is a victory. Hanging in there. So far I am on track but as well all know that could change. Currently, I am not in a good pattern with my eating. My eating is disorderd but not enough to have an eating disorder. I make good plans but then fail in the clutch of the moment. Telling myself no is a life skill I am still working on.

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EDIT: Calorie Overage

Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-19-2020 at 02:38 AM. Reason: 12735.70R
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Old 12-19-2020, 02:37 AM   #309  
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554...

It is beyond me how I can think about ways to lose weight while eating something I shouldn't. Surely I cannot be the only person who does this. Still off in the weeds. Perhaps too much stress is contributing.

I have noticed some non-scale victories (NSVs). My newest and nicest pairs of exercise pants are too big. They slide down and the cuffs drag on the ground at my heels. I'm actually a bit bummed about this because the company no longer makes them so I am unable to order a smaller size. The other NSV, I think my elastic belt is too big and that's why it hasn't been helping me as much with appetite control. It is adjustable so I am going to tighten it up to see if that helps.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-19-2020 at 02:38 AM. Reason: 12794.59F
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Old 12-19-2020, 10:33 PM   #310  
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553...

Hanging in there for today. Had a slight misstep and missed something in my tracking. However, I still have a good calorie deficit after accounting for it. Just need to make it through the rest of the night. It's the hardest part for me though. Hoping my tricks will help me. I tightened my belt and am already wearing it. I also have a can of seltzer at the ready.

The scale has caught on to my awful eating and will likely be higher tomorrow for the official weigh-in.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-19-2020 at 10:36 PM. Reason: 12910.116S
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Old 12-21-2020, 01:57 AM   #311  
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552...

Today was not the day that I turned it around. The scale is two pounds above my 'official' weight and four pounds above my monthly weight. I have twelve days to turn it around. Tomorrow I will give it my best.

Went to a Christmas event where we could walk through movie scenes. It was really fun. They took a picture at the beginning that you could purchase at the end. I'm a bit of a sucker for these things so I totally bought one. I look really good in the picture.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-21-2020 at 11:27 PM. Reason: 12979.69N
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Old 12-21-2020, 11:26 PM   #312  
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551...

Trying to hang on for the rest of the evening. I just don't understand my body I ate a large meal and drank two cups of water. I also had my tightened belt on and was still hungry. I ate a reasonable snack and am still hungry. Not boding well to make it through the evening. In fact, even though I am currently on track I was tempted to post that it was a calorie overage so I didn't have to come back to edit it later. I decided that would encourage me to go over so I am posting as on-track which is accurate as of right now.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-21-2020 at 11:26 PM. Reason: 13041.52M
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Old 12-23-2020, 03:13 AM   #313  
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550...

Whew- made it through another day reasonable successfully. It is a two day streak for creating a calorie deficit. Scale is reading the same as my posted side bar weight.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-23-2020 at 03:14 AM. Reason: 13089.48T
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Old 12-24-2020, 03:47 AM   #314  
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549...

Made it through another day. I worked really late tonight. Working from home is really living at work. I had a task I really wanted to get done today. I completed it at 11:59:59 PM according to the system- LOL! I was suppose to be off tomorrow but will still need to get some stuff done.

I have eight days to lose three pounds to post a loss for the month. Many of the things I had been doing to help have fallen by the wayside. I no longer weigh myself in the evenings and I haven't been keeping up with my sticker chart. In addition, I rarely use the ketone test strips. Plus, I am much slower to track my food. I am very proud of the weight I have lost but feel anxious about how much further I have to go. Then I feel sad about how much I have let my body go and how much worse it was. Need to show myself some grace, learn to put a period on it and move on. I want to be excited about moving forward in this journey.

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-24-2020 at 04:05 AM. Reason: 13177.88W
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Old 12-25-2020, 01:58 AM   #315  
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548...

So I don't really know if I am over calorie wise today. I haven't entered anything into my food log since just before noon. I kind of assuming I am since a couple of mini chocolate croissants made there way into my diet today and I made my first ever blueberry pie. The pie came out really nicely.

Had loads of trouble with the scissors trying to wrap presents today. They seemed to barely work. Finally figured out they are my daughter's. She's a lefty and left her scissors at our wrapping station (aka our dining room table). Then another issue- I tried to feed her something that had one of her allergens in it. It was something we've purchased before but a different brand. Also something that didn't seem like it would have egg in it. Luckily for me, her body was on top of it. She didn't like the smell so she didn't eat it.

I was off on my math earlier- tomorrow I will have eight days to make a good showing for the month. To bad for me and even though I've had three good days in a row, I was up a pound this morning -so eight days to lose four pounds. Or I can re-write history and only need to lose two pounds in that time. At the end of last month, I could choose between a one pound loss or a three pound loss. I was optimistic and chose the three pound loss. In the end, it doesn't make a bit of difference in the final tally. However, it feels much better to lose weight two months in a row rather than lose and gain.

Merry Christmas!

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Last edited by Pipsicle; 12-25-2020 at 02:00 AM. Reason: 13214.37R
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