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Old 04-22-2019, 10:54 PM   #1  
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Default Have you ever had a doctor fat shame you ?

Doctor or nurse or other medical professional. It happened to me about 3 years ago, it's a very long but funny story how I handled that situation, I'll do it in a few segments over a couple of days. I just want to start the thread and see if anyone else has experienced this ?
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Old 04-30-2019, 06:45 PM   #2  
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Yes, I have. And all it made me do was want to eat more!
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:14 AM   #3  
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Yes. My doctor, who has weight issues herself, couldn't understand why I wasn't losing weight and then told me to put a chain and a padlock on my refrigerator. She said other things - but that was the most astonishing.

I see her Friday - and we'll see what she says when she sees I've lost 32 pounds. The last time I lost weight she didn't say a word.
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Old 05-02-2019, 06:02 PM   #4  
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Old Biddy, that's so unprofessional!

I was shamed in my early adulthood after a fit youth and teenage experience. Early experiences in life made me pretty immune to constructive criticism about my weight. The whole, "You'd look better if you were in better shape," thing doesn't shame me. I agree with that. But this day got to me. I was at the GP with my mother and both she and the doctor started shaming me about how I'd let myself go, how bad I looked, etc. It sounds so dramatic, but I wanted to die. I'd put on 20+ lbs. really quickly, and it didn't look good. I wasn't overweight YET, and the nurse quietly tried to stick up for me, pointing this out, that I just needed to get my diet and exercise routine under control. The doctor made sure to emphasize I was ruining my looks.

This began years of insane yoyo-ing. My relationship with my mother is another story, but the doctor really should have realized he wasn't exactly making me want to pull on a pair of running shorts and go for a jog followed by a nice healthy salad.

Honestly, I've NEVER had a doctor or nurse treat me poorly over weight since then. The most severe thing I've heard is, "You'll lose the weight." I realize thin privilege is real and probably treatment of Crohn's with certain drugs makes them kinder toward weight gain.
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Old 05-02-2019, 06:05 PM   #5  
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Yes I went to a weight loss doctor who shamed me and old me I was eating 3000 calories a day when I was, in fact, COMPLETELY complying with his directions.
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Old 05-03-2019, 06:37 AM   #6  
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Ug - that's awful LameGothMom and grannynancy.
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Old 05-03-2019, 06:45 AM   #7  
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It happened to one of my friends too. The doctor conveyed her about her increased body weight very depressingly, which made her stressed for very long time. Yes, if you are fat, the doctor needs to tell you that, but it should be in a correct way that it won't hurt a patient's self esteem.
People should be aware of that fat people are more prone to develop metal health problems. So it is better to think twice before commenting on anybody's body weight and shape. And for the matter beauty comes in all sizes, and it is skin deep.
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Old 05-03-2019, 08:27 AM   #8  
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Exactly, priyaaurora. In my case I had been asking my doctor for assistance with weight and nutrition and the refrigerator padlock was what she came up with.

Interestingly it was my eye doctor who noticed I had gained an awful lot of weight and who offered kind, basic advice without judgement. He's a very good man.
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Old 05-03-2019, 02:32 PM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grannynancy View Post
Yes I went to a weight loss doctor who shamed me and old me I was eating 3000 calories a day when I was, in fact, COMPLETELY complying with his directions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Biddy View Post
Exactly, priyaaurora. In my case I had been asking my doctor for assistance with weight and nutrition and the refrigerator padlock was what she came up with.
I think the reason why many doctors give such bad advice is because doctors spend very little time studying nutrition in school. It would be better to visit a dietician (if you can afford it).

@grannynancy: It's not about how much you eat, it's about what you eat. For example, 2000 calories of healthy food is better than 1200 calories of junk food. I guess the doctor didn't give you advice on what to eat?

@Old Biddy: The first step to losing weight should be to throw out all of the junk food in your refrigerator. Then you won't need a padlock.
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Old 05-03-2019, 04:09 PM   #10  
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I had the opposite issue. My Doctor never said anything about my weight. Then I had to switch Doctors and this new one told me that my weight can cause me health problems. She asked me to loose 10 pounds over the next 6 months. That comment was what it took to make me take weight problem seriously. I had to go back 10 days later to get my blood work and I already lost 10 pounds. I'm down 30 now and I'm completing week 9. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I go back.
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Old 05-03-2019, 06:00 PM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjf View Post
I think the reason why many doctors give such bad advice is because doctors spend very little time studying nutrition in school. It would be better to visit a dietician (if you can afford it).

@grannynancy: It's not about how much you eat, it's about what you eat. For example, 2000 calories of healthy food is better than 1200 calories of junk food. I guess the doctor didn't give you advice on what to eat?

@Old Biddy: The first step to losing weight should be to throw out all of the junk food in your refrigerator. Then you won't need a padlock.
I never have any junk food in the house. She would have done better to tell me to get rid of all the pasta, bread and potatoes in the cupboard, which I did on my own. haha

I saw the doctor today and she didn't mention my 32 pound weight loss. The nurse did, but only because her computer gave her an alert screen after I weighed in that asked her if she meant to log the new weight.
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Old 05-03-2019, 06:01 PM   #12  
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Originally Posted by Carguy View Post
I had the opposite issue. My Doctor never said anything about my weight. Then I had to switch Doctors and this new one told me that my weight can cause me health problems. She asked me to loose 10 pounds over the next 6 months. That comment was what it took to make me take weight problem seriously. I had to go back 10 days later to get my blood work and I already lost 10 pounds. I'm down 30 now and I'm completing week 9. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I go back.
That's splendid, Carguy! Congratulations!
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Old 05-03-2019, 11:16 PM   #13  
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I had this one APRN, she had an attitude, and thought she was an MD!
This girl was young like maybe 27-28, very attractive, extremely fit, she was a triathete, ran marathons all the time.

She started to shame me, even extended my appointment from 20 minutes to 40, to get her jollies messing with me ! I realized her game in about 2 minutes, so I played along.

She'd ask me questions like

Do you know you're really fat ? Me, oh yes, always have been heavy, I'm used to it!

You should lose at least 100 lbs ! Me: well my girlfriend likes just the way I am, in fact she wouldn't mind if I gained 20-30 lbs !

The chick is starting to go tilt at this point, and I'm thoroughly enjoying messing with her head

Do you want to die Young ? Me: I'm old enough, life's been good so far, whatever will be, will be !

She's getting really frustrated, I'm loving it. I've got all afternoon honey if you want to continue is what I'm thinking !

I totally turned the tables on her, and it was fun !

She moved on to somewhere else and I never saw her again, I doubt it was because of me ?
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Old 05-03-2019, 11:28 PM   #14  
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I prefer female "doctors", and that's what I usually get. I really like the lady that replaced the runner chick. She's about 45, pretty plump herself, like 40-50 lbs overweight, so she can't give me much flack about my weight !
I lost like almost 50 lbs under her care in about 6 months, she was very impressed and encouraging. Since then I've just stalled out at that level, but that's OK ! I really enjoy seeing her, if she wasn't married I'd be interested in seeing her !
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Old 05-04-2019, 03:16 AM   #15  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Biddy View Post
Exactly, priyaaurora. In my case I had been asking my doctor for assistance with weight and nutrition and the refrigerator padlock was what she came up with.

Interestingly it was my eye doctor who noticed I had gained an awful lot of weight and who offered kind, basic advice without judgement. He's a very good man.
So nice!
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